theres this guy that i LOVE. but me and him havent met in person and he lives 500 miles away and hes 21 years older than me. he keeps trying to get me to tell him what role i want him to play in my life he said "friend boyfriend husband lover brother what ever." with him living 500 miles away and me having a high sex drive i dont want to call him my BF. he starts work this month so me and him would meet in person but im going to south africa (he doesnt want me to change my plans for him) but if i dont change my plans me and him might not be together in person for a long time and i cant not be with him. HELP!!!! why do i have totell him what role i want him to play? Why the hell did he mention husband?
any advice and input is appreciated.
and please no smart @ss remarks.
2007-01-02 14:03:05 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Before you can say anything you need to meet and talk and get to know each other.
Good Luck to you.
2007-01-02 14:06:32 · answer #1 · answered by zen522 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice is go and meet him first, drive or fly the 500 miles and spend a day or three there, just meet each other before changing anything radical. Of course let people know you are going there first, and check into a nearby hotel rather than stay with him (you can always invite him back if things go well.) You may find things arent as good in person or you just want to be friends, but take a risk by all means, but make it a calculated one.
2007-01-02 14:08:47 · answer #2 · answered by PleaseNoMoreNumbers 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, he is 21 yrs. older than you, doesn't that tell you something? You are a young woman who should be meeting men your own age. This doesn't sound good. He lives 500 miles away? He sounds like a predator. Since you haven't met him yet, just break it off. Quit chatting with him and go to South Africa and enjoy your life. You don't know him, so you don't owe him any kind of explanation about anything. Just ignore him. Be smart and be safe.
2007-01-02 14:10:18 · answer #3 · answered by Bren 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Laura,
I won't be a smart ***, but if you've never met him thats really hard...that alone.How do you know if you have any sort of chemistry with him? I can understand if you've met him in the past and you feel this way but I think this is different. Have you even talked on the phone? Distance can be worked out but I guess I would say don't change your plans and meet him when you have the time and no distractions so you can focus all your time on getting to know him. I think it takes time to get to know a person...don't you?Oh and 21 years difference ummm better think again on that. He might not be able to keep up with you one day.
2007-01-02 14:12:48 · answer #4 · answered by laura k 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe he likes you too and his maturity (21 yrs older) prevents him from treating you like a piece of meat, unless that is what you tell him that you want to be treated like.
Apparently you are still young and want to have fun with your life, which is great. He on the other hand may be trying to sort out his life so that he can have happiness. although the two sound very similar they are not.
if you just want to hook up for a while with him tell him that, if you just want to be friends for a while to see where it will go tell him that. if you think that this is the last of the hard questions this guy will ask you then i am afraid you will be in for a rude awakening.
If you are ready to settle down with one guy for the rest of your life he may or may not be just the guy. take your trip to south africa and sort out your feelings for him.
find out what he would expect from you as each of the relation types and what you would expect from him as each.
good luck
2007-01-02 14:22:12 · answer #5 · answered by sodajerk50 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't put too much into a long-distance relationship with someone you never met. Tell him you're not sure what role you want him to play now. Just go on with your life. Get a real live boyfriend, go to South Africa and have fun.
2007-01-02 14:07:10 · answer #6 · answered by Stimpy 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Letting someone you have never met have any control over your life is a recipe for disaster. If you think there is really any love, the time you are away on your trip should not matter. 21 years older and talking about marriage, I say run while you can. You will not be happy in this relationship.
2007-01-02 14:07:30 · answer #7 · answered by twogen1 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This is not smart a@#. Please do not meet him. He is to old for you and I feel it will never work. I think he was hoping for you to call him your lover so he can have perverted sex with you! MEN! GRRRRRR..... He's a perve. Please realize this.
2007-01-02 14:06:21 · answer #8 · answered by Carleyheart 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋