I have had only one gay experience (two if you include mutual masturbation with another guy) and I really, really want to hook up with a young hottie before I turn 25. Ideally, I would prefer to have a relationship with another bi male on the down-low, but it is so hard to figure out who is gay, bi, straight, whatever. Thus, I am planning to go to a gay bar and hope that nobody sees me.
I do have a few concerns.
Although I am bisexual, I have always been reluctant to go to a gay bar or district in my city because I wish to maintain my heterosexual image (I have been to gay bars in other cities, however, since no one knew me there). I also find only 5-10% of guys aged 16-25 attractive, and after that age, there is an inverse relationship between age and attractiveness (meaning they get less attractive as they get older, obviously, and the same holds true for females).
2007-01-02 13:51:38 · 16 answers · asked by Evan 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I don’t want any non-desirables hitting on me like they did in NYC, San Fran and other cities. That is probably my biggest concern. I am even more picky with males than I am with females because, being the straight male that I am, I find more girls attractive than guys. Once in a while, I’ll see a really cute guy that really turns me on and then I’ll desire to be him more than I would any female. But then I realize that he is probably straight and I get depressed. So now I want to go to a gay club without being caught. Is this a good idea or should I try something else to hook up with the guy of my dreams?
2007-01-02 13:51:58 · update #1
Good take, jxt299. I never even thought about STDs. I don't want to get HIV or something.
2007-01-02 14:00:23 · update #2
You are a one messed-up fellow....
2007-01-02 13:54:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
You don't want to catch anything. Going to a gay bar might be a mistake. Maybe theres some way you could meet somebody on line. The old advice still holds, if you set up a meeting, meet in a well lit, well populated public place, just talk a while and check out the situation before going any place. On the net you can e mail pics of yourself and see the other dude too so thats a bonus. It might seem a little unromantic or whatever, but I do know people who have met really good matches, good people, on the net and are happy together years later. If you play, PLAY SAFE!!!
2007-01-02 21:58:13 · answer #2 · answered by jxt299 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is totally a lie. With the pass of the years you'll get better cuz you'll get more expirience. NOW if you are going out of town and dont want no one to see you wear some night shaded glases and a cap. No one will recognize you and if they do they are looking for the same thing you are looking or you can say the classic excuse " I go there cuz it have the best music" Now about the STD's there should be no problem if you use protection which is 99.9 percent secure but use common sense don't just throw yourself out there like a piece of meat. I know how you fell about trying to preserve your heterosexual image but maybe a little bit of rumor will give you a little bit of advertisement for free. Think about it and Good Luck
2007-01-03 07:05:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, gay bars is where gays hang out. But if you want to be incognito or maintain the hetero part of your being, the chances of running into someone you know does increase, if you patronize those places in your own city.
Have you searched the web for gay sites? There should be something like gay dating services where you input the physical and emotional characteristics of persons you would like to meet, and then they match you up as far as interests, things in common, that sort of thing.
Other than that, it's pretty hard to come out of the closet only part time. At least on the web you could find someone to relate to, and still keep your facade of being "straight" in real life. Sort of like the best of both worlds! Good luck!
2007-01-02 22:02:45 · answer #4 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on how much it matters to you what others think. If you're seen at a gay bar, you may be labeled by some. People are just like that. Ready to judge, label, it's just ignorance. You are who you are. Gay, Bisexual, Heterosexual, it's YOU! Be who you are because being true to yourself is the only way you'll find true happiness. Be honest with others and they can respect you. Go! Mingle, have a good time, make new friends. It's who you fall in love with, not what, in my whole hearted opinion. Enjoy your life because nobody else will feel your regrets but YOU!
2007-01-02 21:58:28 · answer #5 · answered by enjoyrselves 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is not a easy job. There is no 100% fool proof method.
But , I would suggest that you make a nice gay guy as a friend. Again, just friend. Let him know your situation. You can walk into a gay bar with him, and he will be able to figure out the people who are available there. You can then see if you're attracted to any of them in the first place. If so, tell your friend.
Also if you find some other guys (who you think who are straight)
who you're attracted to, inform your gay friend. He might be able to look at that guy and probably be able to tell you, how straight he is, or if there is a bit gay tendency with the person.
I once knew a friend of mine, who occasionally got this gay attraction. There was just two guys he was so attracted in different stages in his life, but unfortunately in spite of his pursuing them, they were not attracted to him. Even though at that point we thought both those guys were straight, later on one of them turned out to be gay.
Someone once I read some scientific researrch that tells that every man or woman , some point in their life were or will be attracted to atleast one another person of their same sex. Now this might be only in their minds. They might not even show that openly or pursue it due to social structuresl, fear and so on.
P.S: You are gay, only if you completely dislike sex with women if you're man and vice versa.
I disagree to someone who said here, that being bi is gay. No its not.
2007-01-02 22:06:03 · answer #6 · answered by thewiseone 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you read your own posting......looking for logical thinking.....you would see you are all over the place in explaining yourself.......you have an age thing that attracts you......you don't like to be hit on by undesirables.....you go to gay bars away from your home town......but shun them locally...you have a heterosexual image to maintain....you date women.....but this ad is for bi relationship......................
think males you seek don't pick that up.......
your almost 25....you have been to clubs/bars.....you have seen people make fools of themselves....attracting no one
do you think it is healthy for a 25 yrs old to show such confusion about his direction in life..............if you can't be happy with what you seek...........find something else bud..........if you are happy with who you are......then display it.......most your friends will accept you...the ones that do not are not true friends
If you bi.........and tell your friends they will assist in setting you up
seeking young guys is jail bait......then again getting arrested for seeking the young will end the confusion......and you will have to register as sex offender.....then the legal system will have labeled you.....to your family....and your neighbors.....and work......date older bud.................
2007-01-03 02:14:26 · answer #7 · answered by Jonathan L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a cloak of invisibility so that nobody sees you?
You state you are wanting a relationship, but from what you are saying it seems that what you are seeking is nothing more than a fawk partner.
Reading your requirements has given me a headache, so I suggest you make each guy you meet fill out a lengthy application so you can better decide just which lucky guy who gets to be your, um, never mind. Just hire an escort to get your rocks off. There are enough twisted people in the gay community as it is and you don't need to add to the problem.
2007-01-02 21:58:43 · answer #8 · answered by castle h 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
first off, I would like to say to Benvenuto that what he commented is rude, unkind, and idiotic. He should know to keep his unintelligent thoughts to himself. Also, there is nothing messed up about being bi, gay, or lesbian. I myself am an in the closet bi. As to your question, I say, go for it. Go to a gay club, and look for the guy of your dreams. If you're happier with men, then you should be dating men. Don't stay in relationships that aren't making you as happy as you could be with someone else. Live life to its fullest. It may take some courage, but get yourself to where you're happy. It will be better for you in the long run. Also, you may want to think about coming out to the public about being bi eventually. It won't be as hard, because then you won't have to hide anymore. Good luck with everything.
Your friend,
E.E.
2007-01-02 22:04:14 · answer #9 · answered by emerald.eyes 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
caught?? caught by who other guys thatare looking?
you have nothing to worry about. if you see another person there keep in mind there is a reason they are there and it is more then like cause they have intrest so they wont tell cause if they do they are telling that they were there too.
2007-01-02 21:58:51 · answer #10 · answered by gunnerbstrong 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try craigslist where the chance encounterssection has people who will do stuff with other people
2007-01-02 23:24:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋