how come when a man cheats on his wife people allways blames the "mistress"?

Question

i emailed a old bf after my divorce,he was married with a child.I did not seduce him or make him leave his wife.we just talked about old times and he told me how unhappy he was in his marriage.he said his wife had made his life hell and nothing he did could make her happy,he was just staying for his childs sake.well one thing led to another and we slept together and he left his wife for me.am i guilty?yes but so is he.he was the one to leave his wife not me.if he had told me he was happy and to leave him alone i would have.i now have his wife showing up at my house at all hours and calling me saying she wants her husband back.well now 6 mons later i just found out hes been cheating on me with someone at work.what comes around goes around i guess.i do feel bad for what i have done but why is all the blaim allways placed on "the other women" after all this his wife still wants him back

Answer 1

It's true that it's not always the other woman's fault. The lying snake might have even told her he wasn't married. Whether she knows he's married or not, HE knows.

But, honey, if he fools around WITH you, he'll fool around ON you.

Answer 2

Uhhhm...People tend to blame the mistress and the husband, and feel the wife and kids were innocent victims of an irresponsable devil man and a hussy who put her face in someone else's marriage.

They usually do this because it's the case. Who are they supposed to blame - the wife. Maybe the kids. The second he said he was married, you had nothing else to say. That was it. There is no need for you to be speaking to a married man unless you work at a store where he is buying something.

Where I'm from you'd have been shot by his in-laws by now. I ment you as in both of you. Actually he would have been for sure shot, you might have just had acid thrown in your face.

I think the old ways are best.

Answer 3

Well you knew that he was married. So in this case you are just as guilty as he is. And should you be surprised he cheated with you so more than likely he would cheat on you to.

I asked the why always blame the other woman a few weeks ago and got alot of the same responses.

I think it is unfair to place all the blame on just one person, and in some cases all you can do is blame the man the ones that say no I'm not married and stuff like that.

Answer 4

Mainly because you knew he had a wife and kid. The wife isn't going to believe anyone over his husband that's just the way it goes, she feels they have a bond and what he says is true my mom and dad are kind of like this my dad cheated on my mom and she blames the women i knew someone in this situation she was one of my good friends the husband sat there and told her all this bad stuff about the wife to make her sleep with him and once his wife found out she blamed my friend and wont talk to her we were all really good friends and now it's weird. I think it also has something to do with jealousy, because the man would rather have someone else other than his wife.

Answer 5

How does it feel to be number,what ever all men that has cheater or wants to cheat all ways say how bad there wife's are or how unhappy they are that is just a man thing I know I have done it myself years ago.I guest the man's wife still loves him and she don't want to put the blame on him if you had not lay ed down with him then he would of fount some other woman but the wife don't think like that way it is you in her eyes.My wife didn't see it that way she new it was me.

Answer 6

The blame is on him...he's a male sl*t. Many men are dogs and they are good at saying the right things to get you to trust them.

You shouldn't have helped him cheat on his wife, as someone who cared about him you should have encouraged him to stay in marriage. You will always have that guilt, but if he's off to sleep with another, you also now know he is sociopath who uses women. Stay away from him, and thank God he didn't get you pregnant so that you would have to deal with him again and again. Stay away from any men who remind you of the crap you see on Jerry Springer show.

Answer 7

I agree with you. He's the scum. Why isn't she blaming him? You had no commitment to her, he did. I think sometimes woman get desperate about men and lose their heads. It's her loss if she wants a cheating man back. He did it to you and he will obviously do it to her again too. I feel bad for her.

As for you, get yourself together and stop wasting your time on men who can't do anything for you. You sound like you learned a lesson with this one and you sound like you have some sense. So find a good, unattached man who will love you and treat you right. Don't do anything else to mess up your karma. The universe has sent you a warning with this situation- listen to it!

Answer 8

Well as a female I understand your point & the wife's bcuz I have been married well over a decade & as for people calling you a ho no that's not fair in some cases but, when a woman is pissed well she's pissed off. My husband drives for the city bus company & he get's alot a females who hound him I had to introduce myself to one bcuz he told her I'm married & the chick still kept buggin him so i had to put a stop to it. No I didn't have to hit her, she ended up punking out & ran & hid . She had te nerve to get mad & my husband said well I told u she knew whnere u worked. Sometimes it can be hard bcuz men do play on sympathy , but we have to be disciplined or like Miss dancing fool 229, people tend to judge u as a ho. I see it this way he used u as a scape goat & if he's out of your life & she still stalks u get a protection order against the heffa & put her crazy *** in jail. It's hard to keep a good man bcuz u will have trial s & tests along the way. Thru the years I have had chicks try to take my husband but guess what ? we are still together. This is why I made a rule that we don't hang with single people , bcuz unhappy people start too much crapp. Take it as a lesson & don't listen to sobb stories bcuz all men tell them honey & sometimes the wife is as sweet as can be & he just wants to get the draws/panties whichever u preferr. It took my husband 3 years b4 I married him bcuz I didn't trust men bcuz I went thru alot of BS when I was younger. Be true to yourself first & don't listen to a sobb story with out actual facts & leave it up to him to leave b4 u leap & see what kind of man he is b4 u sleep with him. All of us have when thru things we just have to learn from them. A while back a girlfriend of my husbands got a job where he was thru temps how not sure , but he had me picvk him up after work to show her I was still his wife & everyday he would kiss me to let he know that it wasn't happening, & after 2 weeks for some reason she got fired . I don't know if this helps but at least maybe it's a little help to you. Sorry if I offended anyone , I just chose not to judge people bcuz u never know.

Answer 9

does anyone know this fact, a man has a mistress, the man is happy all the time ( even when he is home with his family ) the ,mistress is happy all the time ..she gets what she wants......then sends him home....she is happy.......
the wife is happy too, she get a man who is wanting more and is happy when he walks in the door, and can't wait to get HAPPY again that night...the wife gets HAPPY ..so she is happy, her man is always Happy, she is happy..
so what is the problem...if everyone is always happy what is the problem?
I do not get it, blame the mistress, no never.. she is an Innocent by stander...and real hero

smile
good luck

Answer 10

The guilt lies with the jerk that cheated--so while its not your "fault", you did have part in an immoral (and not very nice) thing, and its a shame that you couldn't see that if someone cheats WITH you, they'll probably end up cheating ON you later.