i emailed a old bf after my divorce,he was married with a child.I did not seduce him or make him leave his wife.we just talked about old times and he told me how unhappy he was in his marriage.he said his wife had made his life hell and nothing he did could make her happy,he was just staying for his childs sake.well one thing led to another and we slept together and he left his wife for me.am i guilty?yes but so is he.he was the one to leave his wife not me.if he had told me he was happy and to leave him alone i would have.i now have his wife showing up at my house at all hours and calling me saying she wants her husband back.well now 6 mons later i just found out hes been cheating on me with someone at work.what comes around goes around i guess.i do feel bad for what i have done but why is all the blaim allways placed on "the other women" after all this his wife still wants him back
2007-01-02 13:29:32 · 10 answers · asked by sarahnail456 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
That is a good qestion!! Men seem to get a pat on thier backs the more notches they have on their guitars! Half the time the "other" woman doesnt even know their is a wife.
Dont blame yourself, just be glad that the "DOG" has moved on. It is sad thought that he is leaving a trial of heartaches behind him, but like you said what goes around comes around, and one day he will get his!
2007-01-02 13:41:28 · answer #1 · answered by 5!0ux_j4yn3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, actually is quite complicated. But I will give my honest yet humble opinion. Men are cheater by nature and so women. Now, it just happen that two of you were 'old flame', and perhaps it did not end up both well according to your story. Yet, if he truly loves you, he must prove honesty to you. Knowing that he was married and worse with a child, it just doesn't make sense. I will understand even if you slept together once more. But please, don't fool your self again. If you had a divorce don't make it as a sort of alibi. You know, the more you are in a complicated situation, the more advantageous men will take that chance, it's a bonus to them. But if your former bf is so honest and love you that much, he shouldn't have done that. And the proof is, he's still playing in some other field aside from you. In my culture, there's an adage that goes like this: "You cannot go boating in two rivers at the same time." I am referring to your old guy. Forget him, he's just using you. And besides, you as a married woman also, will not dare to destroy another family with a child. Just pray that God will send you another good perfect, and honest guy who will love you just as you are. Be wise, you should not be trap with this kind of disguise. Take care always.
2007-01-02 13:59:24 · answer #2 · answered by Code Tiger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People in general who would blame the other woman tend to have a mindframe that says that women should band together and a woman who sleeps with a married man seems to be something of a traitor to her gender, or so it seems.
However, when a woman loses her husband to someone else and then harrasses the other woman and wants her husband back? That woman has no self-esteem, she thinks that she only has value if she has a man or is able to "steal him back," so to speak.
Pity his wife (is it ex or current? Either way). Just feel sorry that she needs him in order to feel good about herself and let her (or some other unsuspecting, unfortunate woman) have him and know that while you may have made a mistake, it doesn't make you a bad person at all. Good luck!
2007-01-02 13:59:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Because women are supposed to stick together supposedly even when they don't know each other, you know the whole the men are the enemy we need to stick together thing.
2. You only got his side, possibly instead of talking to his wife and fixing their problems you interfered and made him think he was right to have upset with her. Maybe she thought they were okay and nothing was wrong and that by vindicating her husband you encouraged him to leave.
3.Men get blamed too but it is always in the back of everyone's mind that men are addicted to new sex and can stray if given the right incentive despite any feelings of love. It is believed that women know better and that their incentives are scandulous because they choose to help the guy cheat instead of staying away from another woman's man.
2007-01-02 13:56:33 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,there is some seduction on your part,of course not the VA VA BOOM style.Other wise he won't be telling you his drama. The other woman is all ways blame and suffer for the wreck of a family,that is the reason I don't contact an exboyfriend,who is married,'cause it is not worth it, to be degraded.There are a lot of single guys to hit a good scores.
2007-01-02 13:52:41 · answer #5 · answered by Vannili 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Exactly. The responsibility lies with both of you, but he's the one that strayed from his marriage, not you. The ex-wife should wake up to the fact that he's the jerk and leave you alone. And you need to wake up to the fact that this guy is a serial womanizer and dump his sorry butt.
2007-01-02 13:36:37 · answer #6 · answered by Deborah C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well the mistress legs are open at any time, without any commitments, so she just the toys for any man do what he want to do and pleases. and yest it is the husband fault too.
2007-01-03 04:06:46 · answer #7 · answered by ourjacobdavid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are all stupid and immature.
learn how to have functional relationships.
always complete one relationship before starting another.
have some self respect for yourself not to mess with a married man.
2007-01-02 13:52:38 · answer #8 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My mom always said: "If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you." Lesson learned?
2007-01-02 13:48:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
'Scape-Goat
2007-01-02 13:33:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋