Do you think a man who raises someone elses kid deserves to be called Daddy?

Question

I take care of my wifes daughter, whom I consider my own. Her real father wanted nothing to do with her and actually wanted my wife to have an abortion when carrying her. He then took off and never was around for her. He recently came back (about a year ago) and is semi in her life. When she is with him, he tells her "That is NOT Daddy! I am Dada! That is Mikey! That is what you call him!" She calls me Daddy and him Dada. I have been daddy since she was 7 months old. This really hurts now. What do you think?

Answer 1

I have news for her so called biological father, any man that isnt responsible enough to claim his child even from the mothers womb isnt worth being a father. She deserves someone to love and care for her, support her through her life and you have taken tha responsibility on and you are the one that deserves to be called her daddy. Just because he helped create her doesnt make him a father...a father isnt a title u just give somebody because of the biological makeup just like a mother shouldnt be considered a mother if she doesnt take the resonsibility to be one. You are her daddy and thats the end of the story. Dont let the jerk ruin it, it was his choice and he should pay for the mistake.

Answer 2

You are the one that deserves that tittle-daddy. Any one can have sex and have kids, but not everyone is fit to be called father, even if he is the biological father. This man should not be able to see this child at all, he is a divider and a malicious good for nothing man. If this woman is letting this man come into her life again I would say you have a real problem. She is treating you the way this man treated her. That sounds awful since the child loves you and this person came along to ruin that situation and cause even more damage. Pray very hard that this guy just goes away and finds a life somewhere else, he has no rights here, he gave them up when he walked out and abandoned the child....KECK

Answer 3

I think there is a big difference between being a Daddy and being a sperm donor. I think you have every right to expect to be called Daddy. Any functioning male can father a child. It takes someone special to actually be a Daddy. However, I can understand why he might be hurt by her calling you Daddy. He might actually regret abandoning his child. He might regret all the lost time he can never recover with her. And it might actually hurt to hear her call you Daddy because it reminds him of how he failed. Now, obviously, I don't know all the situation, so I am not positive this is the case, just a possibility you might want to consider.

Answer 4

absollutely it's alright. You earned that title. I went thru this after a divorce and remarriage and you keep doing as you always have. Let the child know when she is old enough that you r not biological FATHER but you raised her since an early age. Never downtalk the other parent but let her know its ok to call you daddy. These guys that disappear then try to pop back in like nothing ever happened make me sick. You go you are DA MAN and the daddy!!!! Anyone can be a father but it takes a special man to be the daddy!!

Answer 5

I feel you have every right to be called DADDY, you have been the one providing financial, emotional, and physical well being for this girl and so it is your right. I have 3 daughters from my first marriage and they lived with me when I got with my current husband and they called my new man DADDY, then they went to live with their real father for 3 years. Now that they are back with me they are still calling my new man DADDY, their real father has not contacted them in any way since they have been back with me and so I strongly feel that the one who supports the children has the right to be called DADDY or MOMMY or whatever the case may be. By the way while they were with their real father they called his girlfriend MOMMY and I had no problem with that although he did not allow me to have contact with the kids at all during their time with him. That's a whole other story.

Answer 6

It's not a deserves to be thing. It's an earned the privileged to be called Daddy. I'd ask your daughter what she wants. What makes her feel comfortable because truthfully, it should be all about her. You don't mention how old she is now, just that she was 7 months when you came into her life. If she is still a toddler, then she may not understand, if she is older than that, then she should be able to tell you and her mother how she feels.

Answer 7

Generally, "Yes." In this case, however, the four of you need to be on the same page for the sake of the child. The mother and both fathers and the child should talk about it and try and come to agreement. Maybe this other man is trying to be a Dad and would like to push you out of the picture. Try and read your child's expressions and ask her for her thoughts on it. But discuss it with the Mom too because she may have another perspective.

This is not an easy situation. You'll always be a Dad to this young girl, but there may be more than one Dad in her life and you might even want outside professional help to try and sort it out in a way that's best for all.

Take deep breathes and count to ten!

Answer 8

My mom and dad divorced when I was seven or eight years old. My mom got remarried and I had a really big problem looking at this guy as my dad. Years later I look at him and I know that he was there for me as a child and stood by my side when I needed him, when my soooo called "dad", (the real one) was hardly ever around. Don't let it bother you that he does this, time always wins out. She will see that he is there when it is convenient to him and not when she wants him to be. Continue to nurture and care for her as if she is yours, and truely she is, you have raised her! And as the old saying goes, ANYONE can be a father, but it takes someone Very Special to be a daddy, you should consider yourself her Daddy.

Answer 9

It takes more than donating the sperm to be a father. You are truly her father. Unfortunately, unless your wife speaks up and corrects this oaf, then you'll have to just know in your heart, that you are the one that have loved and raised her. You are the one that has been her daddy. I know it's none of my business, but why would your wife let this horrible man back into your daughter's life? I know people change, but for him to tell her not to call you daddy, when you are the one who has raised his child, shows that he is still a jerk, and nothing has changed!

Answer 10

It takes more than DNA to be a father. You raised her, fed her, paid for her upkeep, was there when she was sick and most importantly, love her. She calls you Daddy - thats who you are to her. She knows whats going on, though you weren't specific about her age today. You just tell her that you're her Daddy and he is her "father". If she calls him Dada, thats her word for him. Too bad he's upset when he hears her address you as Daddy - keep reminding him, too.