Is it wrong to feel uncomfortable around your own race?

Question

I have a strong fear of being around black people I even went as far as to apply to a university with a low percantage of blacks. I think the reason I feel uncomfortable is because, we don't share anything in common and I believe they will judge me. I always feel intense pressure to avoid interaction with them. I mean I don't hate black people or anything if that was the case I would hate myselef and my family. And I love all of the above I can't find an explanation for it I have felt this way since I was a child I, I would try to fit in with them when I was younger but I never felt truly accepted and I felt uncomfortable. I'm not trying to make this some boo hoo story but I can't figure out why I have these urgers to avoid them.

I have not met an array of black people pretty much the sterotypical ones, that prey on me for "acting white". I have a friend (he was black but very accepting of me along with about 4 others) who told me that the reason a lot of black people probably avoid me is because I don't embrase any part of their culture. And I will admit that it is very true I really don't, and when I have tried I felt like I wasn't being true to myselef. I am going to college in August and hopefully my time there will change my perspective. Its not that this question tortures me everyday or anything like that, I just thought it was weird I felt that way. Thanks for the insight though :)

Answer 1

I don't think you feel uncomfortable around your own race look you love your family. Sometimes people hang around other races and that is fine. Also maybe you experienced negative things in relation to being Black like people called you names or you saw alot of bad news on Black people. Sometimes you can feel embarrased for things that have nothing to do with you. I feel you are a nice person but I think you should stop trying to justify your uncomfortablity around your own people. People have different personalities regardless and if we all thought and felt the same it would be a very boring place. I hope that you can get to know yourself and where you came from and slowly get to know your own people because really you can go here and there but when you really get to know your own kind it's very humbling experience and it something that should be cherished because we only get one chance to be us. Be proud of being Black because that is who you are and those are your people, no matter their status or interests.

Answer 2

How can you not have anything in common with over ten million people? That suggests that you believe you are so unique that there are no other black people who have common interests with you. You have got serious identity issues and I'd suggest you try to deal with them constructively rather than running away. It probably would have been better if you had applied to a school with a large black population so that you'd then see that there's as much diversity of idea, belief and interest within the black community as there is among other groups.

You are, quite frankly, the very example of why I plan on moving to a more diverse area. We live in an overwhelmingly white area and my family is interracial, meaning that my kids are accustomed to seeing blacks and whites as family. I worry about how they'll react when they encounter whites who aren't so accepting. I also worry about them growing up so surrounded by whites that they aren't comfortable around other black people who aren't their relatives.

I admit I find your question extremely irritating. But it does make me more determined than ever to move to a more truly diverse area so my kids can avoid the issues that seem to trouble you.

Answer 3

Could it be that something has happened to you in the past to make you feel this way? Perhaps you had a bad argument with another black individual or have experienced some type of traumatic event involving other black people? Whatever it may be, do know that not all black people are rude, obnoxious, and/or judgmental. (Prime example: myself! I am a very nice, well educated, and versatile black woman who loves to meet new and interesting people--no matter what color they are.) Once upon a time I also felt the need to avoid people who look exactly like me. Because I wasn't the stereotypical black girl--meaning, I didn't listen to rap music, use ebonics as my first language, or speak loudly--I felt that I was an outcast, could not identify with other black people, and that I would constantly be judge by blacks because I wasn't fitting "the mold." It wasn't until I entered college that I met some of the most intelligent, well-rounded, and non-stereotypical black individuals that totally changed my way of thinking. This is what I think you need to do. Go out and meet people--other black people. And don't limit your social interaction to just educated blacks. Try to meet people from different walks of life. Blacks who are educated, non-educated, tall, short, white-collar workers, blue-collar workers--I'm sure you will find something interesting about them all. Though meeting other black people (as well as people of different ethnic backgrounds) is just one part of life's important puzzle...gaining TOLERANCE is as well.

Answer 4

I understand precisely the place you're coming from. i'm 13 and bypass to an African American college. it is stressful because of the fact i like option punk, rock, etc. and teenagers could call me white while i grew to become into youthful. and that i began out to hate being black. while each and every you hear something approximately our race it form of feels that it is continually undesirable. yet then sooner or later I have been given a awaken call. no longer each and every black individual is loud and ignorant. it isn't any longer our fault that some human beings supply our race a bad call. merely understand that their are black human beings out their that are high quality and act with uncomplicated experience. playstation if a woman yells at you, yell in uncomplicated terms a's loud back, frequently those that yell on no account will hit you. So say something clever back and stroll away or say confident notwithstanding while they're completed announcing notwithstanding they're completed nagging approximately

Answer 5

It's a clash of cultures and expectations. When I got out of college I worked for a few years in a government office where everyone was black except me. At the end of the day, I was startled to see white faces and I thought they sounded and acted funny too.

I dated three of the women there at one time or another and loved my black friends like they were family. I seemed to be well loved too, but the difference was that as a white guy they had ZERO expectations of me to be black (unlike your situation), so when I made no effort to "try to act black" it made no difference to them. In fact they were immediately relieved that I didn't act like some of the white jackasses they already knew.

But each of the three women had the same story: their family and friends would NOT accept them going with a white guy in any serious way. One changed her mind a few years later and brought me to meet her friends in an all-black bar where everyone was very nice to me. (Soon afterward she proved to be a reckless alcoholic so it didn't work out for that reason). The one I cared about most, a genius African goddess, jet black, making me look like the moon had come out in contrast, got harassed by black people who didn't even know her when we were seen together in a restaurant just once.

My point is that a clash of cultures and expectations is usually going to come down especially hard on someone in your situation. Gain what maturity and understanding you can and hang with like-minded people, black or white.

Answer 6

Well, when you first said "my race," I thought perhaps you hate humans. We tend to feel uncomfortable with, afraid of, etc. anyone with whom we share little commonalities. If you socialized with a vast array of black people, your perceptions and feelings would change. We are not a homogenized group of people. Some of us live in the city, others in the country, some of us enjoy opera, others rock and roll, we eat pasta, asparagus, go to the ballet, etc.

It is behavior, attitude of an individual or groups that I resonate with. I have acquaintances of all persuasions, backgrounds, educational level, income brackets, sexual orientations, etc. It's about the person.

Get out more! Expand your mind and circle!

Peace

Answer 7

no, it's normal, I'm mixed race and i don't feel good when I'm around the black side of my family (the other half of me is not white btw) i was not raised in the same environment as most black people that i know and we just have nothing in common. when i was a child my relatives made my life hell because of my skin color. now that I'm an adult, i think that i was done a favor by not being accepted into the black populous. this was not something that i set out to become but it was instilled in me at a young age by the black members of my family, YOU DON'T BELONG. I've dated black men who've told me up front, "yeah I'll date you but you're not black enough for me to get serious with"!!!! I've been over it for a long time, as far as I'm concerned it's there loss not mine. i don't know how you got to where you are now, but you owe no apologizes to anyone. do what makes you happy.

my incompatibility stems from my family, not blacks around me.

Answer 8

It's ok to feel that way. Some people are just uncomfortable around others, race doesn't mean much to me. We're all human. As I said before, I don't see anything wrong with your feelings.

Answer 9

I think it is ok to feel uncomfortable around certain people as long as the discomfort is not a result of racism. It sounds like you feel like you they judge you, but be sure not to judge them in return. Its ok though, everyone feels like an outsider at one point or another, just don't let it control your life.

Answer 10

yeah, it's cultural cringe . YOU should feel uncomfortable with judgemental people, not black people. All these characteristics are in ALL races. Now, I wonder if you encounter white people who treat you the same, what will you do, hang out with the asians?