my mom just in salted me she said i had a hump and over weight im 138 lbs is that abuse like in salting or just being rude so basicly my mom called me ugly
2007-01-02 09:30:44 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I'm sorry you're feelings were trampled on, hon. It's not nice to feel like you're feeling. I suspect that your mom was not intending to "insult" you, but her pointing out those things really did hurt, didn't they?
Please sit down with mom when no one else is around. Then start the conversation with something like this:
"Mom, I know I'm not perfect and that I could stand to lose some pounds, but. . .
will you PLEASE not criticize me for this any more; my feelings were just ripped when you said that. Listen to what her response is and again, if she is only able to repeat the same so_"Defensively"_ then you've got to tell her, "No, mom, I won't be berated any more. I'll do something to fix what I know needs fixing when _I_ decide enough's enough. In the meantime, please try not to criticise me unless it's constructive criticism spoken with love.
I can only imagine that the lines of communication between you two have become blurred because of certain "touchy" issues. If you'll try and show it, perhaps she'll try, too. Give her a hug, too. Hugs are just the greatest for cementing relationships and healing wounds. Good luck, hon. No, it's not abuse, to answer your question; it's just a mom who's concerned for you but doesn't know how to communicate well. We parents are not perfect, as you prob. already know. You can teach her though, if you want to, and you can also reinforce the loving bond that usually exists between mothers with their children/young adults. I hope this helps.
2007-01-02 09:50:32 · answer #1 · answered by MJ D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all the word is insulting not in salting. You do have spell check. I'm sure your Mom has her reasons for things she might have said but you know if you are over weight or not. She did not actually use the word ugly and I am sure she does not think that of you. All Mother's think that their children are beautiful in every way. No it's not abuse.
2007-01-02 17:37:34 · answer #2 · answered by sunny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grammar aside,
Your mother advising you that you have some health issues, spinal curvature and excess weight, is not abuse nor an insult.
She may not have said it very tactfully, but consider whether it is more or less truthful.
If you don't have the conditions that she pointed out, it is mean-spirited, but still not abuse.
Oh, by the way, Marcia, spell check is wonderful thing, but it would not have corrected "in salted" since both words are correctly spelled, not correctly used which spell check doesn't find.
2007-01-02 17:41:05 · answer #3 · answered by deepndswamps 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Verbal abuse generally speaking takes a long time to diagnose. If she's constantly telling you that you're fat, then yes.
However, if she genuinely feels that way, ask her to take you to the Dr. Explain that you're willing to accept her point of view if a Dr tells you that you're over weight. If the Dr confirms your mom's opinion, then ask him for a referral to a dietitian so that you can work on losing weight.
Also, people do from time to time say things that hurt people unintentionally. Have a frank talk with your mother. Explain how her words hurt you. She'll respect you all the more for it.
2007-01-02 17:38:50 · answer #4 · answered by putermd 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the hell is "in salted"???
What your Mother said wasn't very nice, but then maybe she was just being honest to get you to pay more attention to your appearance. Just because her words aren't all peaches and cream doesn't mean she doesn 't love you. But if she keeps telling you things like this block her out. Stay strong and get your education.
2007-01-02 17:39:45 · answer #5 · answered by Y.a.S.L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The word is "insult." And she was probably trying to tell you to loose weight for your health. Mothers love their kids and want what's best for them. I doubt that she truly believes in her heart that you are ugly. No mother could think that. No, I don't believe this is abuse. Maybe you should take her advice. She does love you.
2007-01-02 17:35:50 · answer #6 · answered by Jack 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"in salting" is an incorrect way of saying to put salt into something...
The word is insult (unkind or rude comment) and that's unkewl from anyone, especially a parent...but saying you are overweight isn't an insult if it is true...it's just an unpleasant fact...
2007-01-02 17:33:38 · answer #7 · answered by . 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it is verbal abuse when your mother abuses you with words she might of just been upset unless she does this all the time but if this was a one time thing i would sit her down and ask her why she said that and tell her that it hurt you alot
2007-01-02 17:46:38 · answer #8 · answered by shortysherry46 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's closer to abuse if she peppers you. Salted isn't as bad as cayenne or chili powder.
2007-01-02 17:34:11 · answer #9 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be considered verbal abuse. Stay in school. Your English skills are very poor.
2007-01-02 17:33:38 · answer #10 · answered by notyou311 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋