I have been with this man for over 8 months. I love him so much and we have talked about moving in together and eventually getting married. He is 32 but he can not stop playing video games. He plays so much to the point of me feeling neglected. Last night we had a big fight over it, and I felt like he chose he games over me. Let me be honest, but I broke one of his games to prove him that I do not need this and he got so angry and said some nasty stuff to me. I really am confused. I know guys play video games, but I do not know what to do anymore. I don't know what to say or what to do. It's a silly thing to be fighting about, but it seems like he is so addicted to those games, that he is willing to leave the relationship just to be able to play games, even though he will not admit that. What should I do. Any advice would be helpful. Especially from men! Thank you guys.
2007-01-02 09:23:30 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You should not leave over a video game. People have different hobbies. Many people are so in to their hobby that it may seem like they put it before anything else. Some people use their hobbies as a way of relaxing. Don't fight about this issue. It's something that can really be worked out. You should have a conversation with your boyfriend and tell him how neglected you really feel. Maybe you two can find a common ground. Don't think because he is playing video games most of the time that he doesn't love you too. If you need more of his time just explain it to him, I'm sure he will listen to you. He just needs to truly understand how you feel. Remember his hobby is important to him. It may not be one you like but be open minded. Is it really worth losing the one you love?
2007-01-02 09:39:36 · answer #1 · answered by relationcounseling 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So leave him- you've only invested 8 short months, not 8 years. You don't have kids, you're not married and you don't live together- talking about it means little. Move on and find someone who you're more compatible with. Why stay with a person who makes you feel neglected? Why talk about marrying someone who gets angry and says nasty stuff to you over... video games!
(PS My husband has never played video games-so no, "guys" don't play video games. He's 32, not 12!)
2007-01-02 17:32:45 · answer #2 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always something - before video games, it was golf, or fishing, or working on the car. He may be addicted to games, or he may just play them when you would rather he didn't.
You broke one of his games because you were angry at him, and that was not right.
You'd feel better, wouldn't you, if he just sat around and watched TV. Then you would feel he was with you and paying attention to you, or "there" somehow. Off playing video games, even at home with you, somehow is not the same thing - he is not including you in his activity.
But that is what he does, play video games. Addicted or not, you have to make up your mind either to put up with it, or ditch him for a non-gamer.
2007-01-02 17:34:48 · answer #3 · answered by sonyack 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are doing what you need to do--thinking. And bless you for questioning what YOU should do rather than "how do I get my man to pay attention to me?" or some such. The thing to keep in mind is that marriage (and relationships leading up to it) are cooperative ventures where each person receives from the other and each gives to the other. It needs to be a two-way process. If only one get their needs met the other gets short shrift and the prospects of them lasting as a couple are very dim. It sounds very much as though he's getting his needs met and you aren't. Rest assured it is NOT a silly thing to fight about--it is, by contrast, very important because, in the vernacular, if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody going to be happy.
So, what to do? My suspicion is that the possibility that he'll give up a significant portion of his gaming for you is pretty dim. If you feel like it, you might give him the chance to meet your needs.
BTW, breaking one of his devices isn't very smart but you are dead on right to be very concerned about receiving attention that you deserve and need.
2007-01-02 17:50:54 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like some sort of communication problem, i may be wrong but what i got out of it, you only talk to him about his gaming problem when your mad, you could try buying him a new game or something he wants and tell him that you love him and you hope he loves you more than the gaming system, use the gift as a sort of warming up gift and after you apologize for the breaking of his game as him in return to apologize for him making you feel neglected let him know your feelings with constructive criticism, let him know you understand his hobbies and how much they mean to him then tell him how he to you is more important and you don't want to have to leave him over a silly game, then ask him what you guys need to do to fix this problem get his input on the situation
2007-01-02 17:37:04 · answer #5 · answered by bestadvice101 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A 32y/o man who is that attached to video games is embarrassing. Does he still live at home with his Mother as well? Unless he has a job that causes him to be that focused there is no excuse for his neglect. Leave him and his video games alone for a while, find some things to do with yourself. If he misses you than maybe he can change but if he doesn't notice perhaps you need to stay gone for good. He needs to grow up.
2007-01-02 17:32:40 · answer #6 · answered by Y.a.S.L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If that guy is playing video games all the time then dump him men are supposed to pay attention to women not play video games! If you love him a ot that you can't lose him then stay with him but if you think he likes a stupid game over you then dump him! He play's vidoe games then rather go out and eat with you!? If yes then Im sorry but he dosent love you he loves the vidoe games so go out there and dump him!
Good Luck! : )
2007-01-05 23:26:48 · answer #7 · answered by leeza f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave this guy and find some loser who will spend all his time adoring and showering you with attention, until you puke.
Actually you should not find another guy or consider marriage, until you develop some of your own interests.
You are being childish and I hope some guy breaks your Barbie Dolls.
2007-01-02 17:41:07 · answer #8 · answered by professionalmuse4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump this loser !!! I'm 35 and I grew up with video games and I'll play them with my son but you found yourself a true "gamer" and they don't change. Move on honey.
2007-01-02 17:27:00 · answer #9 · answered by gozedown 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Someone who loves you would not give you so much pain over a stupid Video game. He's gotta go .......!
2007-01-02 18:43:50 · answer #10 · answered by mabster 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋