I, the mother, live in Alabama. The father lives in Florida. I recently got married and am now a stay-at-home mom, while he has nothing to do with our child. My husband has been supporting us quite well, but I think it's a little unfair that my child's father just stays out partying without a care in the world. My husband would like to adopt our child (I hope I'm not confusing you too much!), but the paternal father won't give up rights. Is there a way I could threaten him with backpay of child support, plus current support, hoping to scare him into giving up rights, or would he get out scott-free as he's not working?
2007-01-02 07:28:54 · 11 answers · asked by Suse 4 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
I forgot to add...I've never pushed him for child support as he's lame enough I don't really want him having anything to do with our kid. I was able to make enough money to raise her the way she deserves, but now I want to try and get rid of him altogether.
2007-01-02 07:35:08 · update #1
Even if he doesn't have a job, he stills owes CS for the child. In Arkansas, even unemployed people have to pay $25/week for one child. That could add up if Fla is similar.
Is there an Order requiring him to pay CS? If not, you are screwed on him owing you any back pay. Otherwise, he owes you whatever the court set it at, regardless of his employment sitution. (That's why they allow people to file motions to DECREASE CS)
You need to first have the case transferred to the child's home-state (Alabama). That will let your ex bf/hubby know that you are getting ready to do something (and save you money). He's gonna have to come to AL to fight you on anything once the case is transfered---and trust me, since you've been in AL for more than 6 months, they will transfer the case....at that point he may give you what you want--if not, file a motion for CS (or to increase CS, whichever is appropriate) and have him come up from Fla and explain to a Judge why he shouldn't have CS set.
If he won't give up rights (usually you have to have both--no contact and no CS (assuming it was court ordered) for a year in order to have his rights terminated involuntarily) then get a support order and wait.......he may be willing to give up his rights when he sees how hard it's gonna be to keep them.
But before you do anything-please think long and hard about your child. This is a decision you seem to be making for the child and you might be better off to let the child make the decision about his/her birth father when she/he is old enough to understand...she/he might have serious issues as a teen knowing you took her/his dad away or worse--knowing he quit on her/him.
I know this seems like a scattered and complicated answer, but you need to see an attorney in Alabama.
2007-01-02 07:54:14 · answer #1 · answered by kathylouisehall 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, in my state, child support and child custody do not have anything to do with the other. You can not take him to court to have his rights terminated because he doesn't pay or visit. There are other reasons in court to terminate rights (abuse, neglect, ect.).
But, you ex probably does not know that. I have tried to threaten my ex with back support in order to get him to see his daughter more often. And, it worked. But be careful.
#1, just because he isn't working doesn't mean he doesn't pay. Most states will assign monthly payment based on min. wage.
#2, you can go after him through your child support enforcement office (usually with the attorney's office).
#3, in my case, a warrent for arrest was issued because he owed three years worth. He still isn't paying and is on probation.
The bottom line, you do what you have to do for the best of your children. If you think he will respond to light threats, then do it. Get the enforcement paperwork, fill it out and then send him a copy before you turn it in. He may get scared and sign over rights.
Good Luck.
2007-01-02 07:42:21 · answer #2 · answered by Katie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's called duress and would not be favorable to you. If the father has no contact with the child (which is totally separate from child support), you might seek legal counsel about severing his parental rights in order for your husband to adopt the child.
If you threaten the child's father, the court will think you vindictive and that the adoption would not be in the best interest of the child.
Best of luck to you.
2007-01-02 07:34:00 · answer #3 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
>>> Is there a way I could threaten him with backpay of child support, plus current support, hoping to scare him into giving up rights, or would he get out scott-free as he's not working? <<<
He would not get off scott free. However you can use it as leverage to prod him into consenting to the adoption. It is fairly common to do so. Or you can use the lack of support as evidence in a contested adoption if he won't consent. See a local attorney.
2007-01-02 08:01:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the EXACT same situation with my son and his biological father. I never wanted support b/c I thought that this would give him rights to be involved and I didn't want that.
I just never did anything. I remarried, moved on, my son is now 11, and just fine. Sperm donor never has attempted to contact us. I think that he's already afraid of the child support and past child support and that's why he's never come around. Just leave the courts out of it and have an upfront talk about it with your kids and DAD. (the real one that is there raising him)
2007-01-02 08:08:26 · answer #5 · answered by elfkin, attention whore 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, if you're not divorced and your pregnant then the court might make you wait until you have the baby to continue with divorce proceedings. I don't know what state you are in, but in WI that would hold up the divorce, even if the husband isn't the father. Why would you break up with the new guy seeing that he fathered your baby? Find out if he wants to be involved first. If so, great. Otherwise, you'll probably have to prove paternity after baby is here.
2016-05-23 07:05:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get in contact with your state's child support enforcement office (I am assuming there is a support order in effect). They will 'enforce' him paying his support. Then, once he gets tired of them garnishing his paycheck for the back and current support it might be easier for you to get him to relinquish his rights. I know in my state (MO) that if the father is so far behind and not made payments in so long that there is jail time involved. Plus the loss of his driver's license. Just do whatever you think is best for your child. I am adopted by my step-father and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
2007-01-02 07:41:42 · answer #7 · answered by balooney2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever go to court at all to establish any sort of parental custody? If not, do that now, and request that your child's father's rights be taken away. He has to be served with paperwork and he will have a certain amount of time to respond. If he doesn't, the courts will take this into consideration and most likely terminate his parental rights for him.
2007-01-02 11:00:59 · answer #8 · answered by SassySours 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, he isn't paying you child support? And all you want to do is "threaten" him?
He's supposed to be paying you regardless of whether he spends any time with the kid - visitation and support are 2 different things.
You could go about having his rights terminated if he really has nothing to do with the child.
2007-01-02 07:33:02 · answer #9 · answered by harrisnish 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
In all probability as your ex has no definable income you are screwed. However go see child welfare services and seek professional Help. This is too complicated and important a question for this forum.
2007-01-02 07:33:24 · answer #10 · answered by Kevin 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋