I am with an amazing guy who treats my like a princess. I sometimes get in the habit of getting 'annoyed' or frustrated with little things that he does. I have been in 2 serious relationships (I am 25). One being my past relationship and my current one. My last relationship was based upon jealousy and i think that i mistaked jealousy for love. (I would treat him like a king cause I didnt want him to choose someone else instead of me) My mind told me that since I was jealous of him I "love" him. Fast forward to now...I am not jealous in the least which is leading me to believe that I do not love him?!? I think we could have an extremely happy life together but how do i know if he is the "one" for me. I still find myself thinking about my ex which I hate cause he did me wrong so many times. I just dont know what to do..I want to spend my life with him but I want to know that I love him...How do you know and how do i know if i should marry him or not?
2007-01-02 07:25:09 · 6 answers · asked by dawson190154 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, 25 is a good age to be thinking about all of those things. While it is healthy to have a little jealousy, not having any can be as damaging as having too much. This is one of those situations where you have to go with your gut. Treat him well because you want to treat him well. If you love him, then love him. Marriage will come when it comes, for now enjoy being with him. DO YOURSELF A FAVOR, AND DO NOT SETTLE FOR THIS GUY BECAUSE HE TREATS YOU WELL AND LOOKS GOOD ON PAPER IF HE IS NOT WHAT YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT. I made the mistake of marrying a man that looked good on paper because he said he loved me and was the opposite of a man that cheated all the time and spent over 10K of my savings on nothing...and he divorced me because I had a nervous breakdown in Iraq. Never settle.
It's good that you are trying to distinguish between jealousy and love. It means you respect your partner. That sounds promising.
Also, you aren't going to forget your first love, no matter how much of a dirtbag he was...don't mistake that for a desire to be back with him.
I say, if he asks you to marry him, accept if that is what your heart says, don't if it says not to...but either way make sure you have a long engagement and you live together (if you don't already) before you get married.
good luck, darlin'
2007-01-02 07:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by Liz Z 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all....if you are not jealous, that is a good thing. That means you feel secure in your relationship. Insecurity, jealousy, anxiety, etc. are all symptoms that your relationship is unhealthy.
Don't marry a guy based on feelings alone. Feelings change. How does he relate to his family, his mother and sisters? How does he treat you when he is stressed out? Does he build you up or tear you down? How do you feel about yourself when you are together?
You have to heal from past relationships before you can be emotionally healthy enough to pursue a new relationship. Give yourself time to grieve and do some nice things for yourself. God bless you!
2007-01-02 07:32:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship is a good one, not being jealous means that you do trust him which is a very good thing and that you are comfortable in your relationship, even more important! You think of your ex because women tend to compare, may not admit it but they do. Therefore your only experiences is with your ex right, and now your basing everything on your past relationship. Don't do that, just sit back and relax, I have been married (3rd tiem) for 3 years and I still get butterflies when he is close and I have never been jealous of him and I am a very jealous person! If you still get butterflies and a little nervous when he is near then Iwould say it is love!
2007-01-02 07:30:31 · answer #3 · answered by r_fazenbaker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm in the same situation. i hope my guy knows i love him. i just CANT say it...yet, i've never said it 2 anyone but my family n parents.
u know hes the one for you when u feel a pull.
2007-01-02 07:58:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel happiness with him, and if he shows love and compassion to you, if he respect you and accept you for what you are, and if he is ready to commit his self to you,>>>>>>>>>>>> then he is trully meant for you.
2007-01-02 07:35:11 · answer #5 · answered by KRISTOFFER D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would just know you wouldnt have to question it.
2007-01-02 07:28:56 · answer #6 · answered by fajita 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋