Does anyone regret having a tubal ligation - tubes tied?

Question

I am 30, and just had my 3rd child a few weeks ago. My husband is 33 and also has 2 children he brought to the marriage...so now we have 5! We don't want anymore children in the current situation, but I am tyring to determine if this really what I want to do because there is no going back! My doctor is really trying to get me to consider the "What if" factor, she asked me if my husband and all of the children went out this evening and got into a car accident and there were no survivors, would I still be sure that I didn't want anymore kids. That's a tough one, and what a horror story to think about...I would probably become an alcoholic anyway! Should you base your decision on your current situation, or really consider the "What if's"?

Answer 1

Even if your doctor is trying to get you to see all the possibilities, I would think that having more children after a horrific deal like that would not be the first thing on your mind. I don't think it is up to your doctor, but you and your husband. I think you 2 should sit down and really talk things through, figure out all the pros and cons, and decide from there.

Answer 2

Your doctor sounds like kind of a scumbag. It's really sleazy to imply that the horrible deaths of your husband and existing children would be negated by your having a new baby/babies.

That said, reading your letter, I wouldn't say you should rush out and get permanently sterilized (and I am quite pro-sterilization). You don't seem 100% on the idea... and if you get another case of the baby rabies when you are over the exhaustion of dealing with a newborn, you might regret it. Tubal ligation reversals are fairly major surgery and only semieffective. Maybe talk (hopefully to a different doctor) about getting an IUD or other low-hassle form of semipermanent b.c., and consider it for a year or two. Or look into a vasectomy for your husband... more reversible, less invasive medically, and you can have some sperm frozen if you aren't 100%

Answer 3

I had a tubal 1 year ago & haven't regretted it one bit! I am 38, have 2 kids, 9 & 11 yr old. You being 30, and having 5 kids, that's enough!! If tragedy happens, then that was meant to be. The previous respondent was absolutely correct when she said what a HORRIBLE doctor you have to present you with such a scenario. By the way, they ARE reversible. Extremely costly, however, but in fact it can be done. My friend paid $11,000 to reverse hers, when she got remarried to a man who didn't have kids and she wanted to have a child with him. So, I guess you NEVER know what life will deal you! Do what you think is right, weigh the benefits...never having to worry about birth control again...what a RELIEF! Or thinking "what IF!"..for the rest of your life regarding "possible" tragedies....that's NOT a way to live life. Good luck!!

Answer 4

I would STRONGLY recommend holding off for a few years and using chemical or barrier birth control. A lot of women end up having some level of regret if they get a tubal before the age of 35, and it sounds to me as if you've still got some doubts going on. If I were you, I would use another BC method for at LEAST 18 months and do all the considerations before going through with the surgery.

BTW, I would also strongly urge you to seek the advice of another doctor; anyone who will play the emotional blackmail game and try to get you to not sterilize on the basis of the POSSIBILITY of losing all five children simultaneously to some horrific circumstance should NOT be practicing medicine!

Just remember, it is YOUR body and YOU should have the final say in EVERYTHING you do with and to it. A doctor's job is to lend medical ADVICE, not philosophical crap that can cloud your judgment regarding YOUR health, well-being, and parenting options.

Answer 5

Your doctor's advice seems ridiculous. I make decisions on the best information available at the time, not perfect information, since that isn't possible. I have never regretted having a tubal ligation after my third child, but by that time my oldest son was already a teenager. I won't spoil the surprise, but it will all become clear then.

Answer 6

I had a Tubal 14 years ago. . Have a 18 &14 year old. ..Divorced 7 years ago.. remarried 3 years ago. . Still do not regret my decision. .I'm 42..I visited my x in laws when I was in my 20's saw my almost 50 y.o.mother in laws birth control pills and thought OMG I'm not worrying with that for the next 30 years. .. it's great no no no worries. ..no accidents, from pull out method, condoms breaking, itchiness from spermacide, chaffing from condoms, awkward ways u have to contort yourself to insert a diaphram, feeling sick from the pill..all gone. .every year I'm more thankful. .

Answer 7

I would suggest the mirena IUD. It lasts for five years and is low hormone so there are few effects. At least this way you have five years to be sure you're sure.

Check out this site for more info. I have had one for 4 years and I love it. No problems, I just don't have periods any more just spotting for about 3 days about every other month.

http://www.mirena-us.com/index.jsp

Answer 8

you should base it on your current situation. you can always have your ligation reversed.i had my tubes ties in september 2006. and i had it done because i did not want anymore kidsbut if something were to happen i could have it reversed.

Answer 9

I've never regretted it for a minute.

What a horrible doctor you have, to present you with that scenario.

Answer 10

If you are not 100% sure don't do it. Yes I would consider the what ifs.