My mother left 3 weeks ago and moved in with her boyfriend. She called on Christmas and after that my dad told me I am not to speak to her right now. I miss her and would like to know why she left us, and I wish I could talk to her, but I don't want to get in trouble with my dad. I am mad at her and so is my dad, but I don't think it is right that I can't call her.
2007-01-02 06:01:28 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell your father that it's unfair of him to not allow you to talk to your mom. Explain to him that you and he are both angry, but she is still your mother and you should be able to talk to her. Let him know that you have a relationship with her as her daughter that has nothing to do with their marriage, and that you need to handle your communication and relationship INDEPENDENT of what's going on between the two of them. Tell him you don't want to sneak around his back and call her, but you will call her.
Understand that your father is hurting big time, just like you are. He may not be able to see how unreasonable he's being, and he may be using you to hurt your mom. It's not fair, I know. But these are difficult times for you all. Whatever happens, they're still your parents; don't allow either of them to put you in the middle of their mess. If they do, you have every right to tell them to leave you out of it.
2007-01-02 06:12:20 · answer #1 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so very sorry for the pain that you are going through. Please know that what has happened to your mother is NOT your fault and it has nothing do with you at all. She may be suffering from depression or a midlife crisis or there may be other problems between her and your dad that you'll never know about. Your dad must be very hurt and very angry right now. I'm sorry that he's putting you in the middle of this. He should allow you to call her (but he may just be trying to protect you). Is it possible for you to contact an aunt or uncle (your mom's brother or sister) or one of your maternal grandparents? Let them know that you miss your mom and that you would welcome contact from her. That might be a way of at least getting a message out to her without upsetting your dad. It should be someone you trust though. Otherwise, try talking to your dad again. Again, I'm so very sorry.
2007-01-02 14:07:31 · answer #2 · answered by mJc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Clearly your mum has been having an affair with the guy she has just moved in with. Your dad is very hurt right now and isn't thinking clearly. You should contact your mum to tell her how you feel. Maybe you have a trusted adult friend or family member who could help you talk to your dad about this. He is so angry with your mother that he wants to punish her but probably cannot see that you are being hurt by this too. Tell him that you love him but that you need this to help you come to terms with this horrible situation. Sometimes when we are in pain, we fail to see that others are too.
Good luck
2007-01-02 14:10:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take a little while to ort out your feelings. Is calling her what you really want to do? Write down your feelings and call her. If she cares, she'll talk to you. Otherwise keep calling until she'll talk. Arrange for a time you can meet her. No matter what your dad says, shes still your mom and you should still be able to see that. Tell your dad that if he loves you, he'll let you keep in touch with your mother.
2007-01-02 14:07:05 · answer #4 · answered by :) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie don,t be mad at your Mom,marriages don,t fall apart for no reason,just because your dad is not the one that left does not mean hes innocent....It hurts to see your parents split but it is very unfair of your dad to say you cannot call your MOM.I would call her and if your dad gets mad well he just gets mad....You have every right to call your mom...He don,t want you to talk to her beause he wants you to be on his side....Please whatever you do ,,,,DO NOT TAKE SIDES WITH EITHER ONE OF THEM! keep all communications open between you and your dad and your Mom....Remember she did not leave you,she left your dad....She probably left you with dad so he won,t come looking for her,she knows you are safe with your dad...good luck sweetie and listen to what i am telling you ok?
2007-01-02 15:31:54 · answer #5 · answered by slickcut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She didn't do an honorable thing by leaving you and your dad and shacking up with some boyfriend. Your dad probably thinks she is a very bad role model and doesn't want you to ever think that her actions are good. He is hurting right now and you should give him support not your mother.
2007-01-02 14:06:24 · answer #6 · answered by Raven 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should call your Mom. However, be patient with your Dad. I know what it is like to be left for another woman and you do not think clearly for the first couple of months. He is hurting. He probably thinks he is protecting you.
2007-01-02 14:10:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go ahead and call her, find out what she says, but be ready because some of the answers you might not like, and that might be the reason your father doesn't want you speaking to her. Its your choice, just because your father is upset at her, doesn't mean you have to stop speaking to your mother.
2007-01-02 14:08:07 · answer #8 · answered by Tommy's_Sweet_Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is trying to protect you, but you should be allowed to talk with your mother. Tell your dad how you are feeling and that it is important that you speak with your mother. When you do, let her know how angry and hurt you are and tell her that her unwise actions will have a major impact on your life!
2007-01-02 14:06:58 · answer #9 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is your mother and it is wrong of your father to put you in the middle of the situation. You need both of your parents and you deserve to ask questions of both of them.
If you want to talk to your mom then call her if you father gets mad just explain that she is your mother and you are confused and you miss her... he should not be putting you in this situation.
2007-01-02 14:05:50 · answer #10 · answered by flappymcp 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋