I'm not quite sure what to do about my husband. I may be overreacting, but want an outsider's perspective. We've been married for 4 1/2 years. When we got married he had a dead-end job that paid well. Two weeks after the wedding he quit his job, and we moved back home, where we're from. He started his own business and I was very supportive. His business isn't great but he's not doing too bad. He makes about 12k a year, but only contributes about 2k to our checkbook, the rest goes for business expenses. Last year he started another business with the friend. It went ok and they made quite a bit of money until the friend embezzled most of it. This year my husband and his brother started yet another business, and they haven't made a dime. I pay all the bills in the house and do all of the housework, except for his laundry.
Am I out of line for wanting him to get a real job? We got married fairly young so we could have kids, but I don't want to do that in this environment.
2007-01-02 05:52:19 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sorry misunderstanding. He contributes 2k a year total to our checkbook.
2007-01-02 06:06:15 · update #1
If all he contributes is $2K per year to your checkbook, you need to insist that he get a job. You've been patient long enough. He needs to help support more, or you'll never be able to start a family, or have a house of your own. He needs to grow up, get a job, and start planning for the future. If he refuses, you need to think what your options are......is THIS how you want to live the rest of your life? Good Luck!!
2007-01-02 06:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im assuming he still has his business that pays 12k a year right?its unfortunate about the business he went into with a friend and the money was embezzled....I understand he is in a new business with his brother and so far hasnt got off its feet good....As long as he still has the business that is making 12k per year,i would give it a little more time,at least you do have some income...If he don,t still have the business that pays 12k,then you are right to want him to get a real job..If this business with his brother does not do something soon,I think he needs to bail out...he seems to be trying to be in business for himself instead of working for someone....if he is young enough ,he can get into a nice company that can offer some security....I agree with you about having children ,you don,t need to add stress to a already stressful situation,and I would tell him so.....Whats the chances of his business he started for himself that is making 12k per year,is the business going to do any better?If not and he wants to keep it,he needs to get some type of side job to help out until that business gets on its feet....I don,t think it was wise for him to start another business with his brother ,instead he needs to work on the one he started on his own,sounds like he has to many irons in the fire....if I am mistaken about this and he no longer has the company he started,and now has gone into business with his brother that is not making a profit,yes he needs a real job,i agree,and I do not think you are wrong for wanting him to get a job,I think you should insist that he does.....I do hope i have been of some help.good luck to you
2007-01-02 14:14:37 · answer #2 · answered by slickcut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, this is going to require some trust and honest communication.
On one hand you are justified to expect your man to support the family. But, are you killing his dream by insisting he do it your way?
You should tell him how you feel, and that you expect him to support the family. Then, I'd refrain from insisting it be your way unless he fails to do something effective. He needs to develop the smarts to find out who to trust in business. Sometimes the best opportunities come to those who have their own business. He may have flexibility to spend time wiht family that he'd not have with a "real job".
I'd be clear about my expectations and give him a chance to live up to them. If he's contributing $2000 to the kitty every month, that's not bad for a building business. Maybe he should stay on that horse and build that business.
2007-01-02 13:59:55 · answer #3 · answered by justbeingher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs to find a career, not just a job. Starting a new business each year is not a career. Once he can find a career, he then can get himslf a job that will take him to that career and contribute to your household.
When I was single, I had a hard time settleing on a career and floated from job to job.
2007-01-02 14:37:07 · answer #4 · answered by zax_fl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be supportive of his efforts, but wait to have children until you have an established steady income.
2007-01-02 14:00:51 · answer #5 · answered by AnnieD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋