I absolutely cannot open up sexually with another person. I have a boyfriend of 4 years whom I CANNOT open up to. Please don't say just open up or that I need to explore myself. I know what I like. I Just can't do anything with him. I feel akward when he asks questions and I decline almost every request. He is faithful... SO DON'T SAY HE'S CHEATING! I just need advice... How do I overcome this akward feeling so that I can acheive the sexual prowess and freedom with him that he wants me to have. Thanks!
2007-01-02 05:51:57 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
Honestly...watch some x rated movies, alone. The more yu see it, sex, the more natrual it will seem to be open. Or even x rated magizines. You need to train your brain to think that it is ok and all girls do it. Look for amature movies and magazines, the women look more natrual in these. i.e. no implants and their arent hard bodys, just sexy and natraul. Also remind yourself that it IS in fact natraul. Ask him to to help you feel more comfortable, does him being quiet help or making more noise think about why your uncomfrotable and how you can be comfortable
2007-01-02 05:58:03 · answer #1 · answered by cuetee220 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have something in your past that has caused you to be very insecure about yourself. Find someone to talk to if you can (a therapist or a good friend)
I had similar issues and one thing that began to help me out was writing. Not just about my feelings but writing out things that I find sexy or about things I would like to experience (I write in my free time anyway, it's what I want to do with my life) Sometimes, sitting and opening up to yourself is one of the best things you can do, in order to open up to someone else.
Also, finding small things you can do with your boyfriend might help. Start slow and work your way up to more intimate things. Backrubs (for both of you) and just touching and doing things that aren't very "sexual" to help you become more comfortable.
Best wishes for you
2007-01-02 14:03:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are comfortable with yourself and your own sexuality, maybe you need to ask yourself if you don't really care for him. After all, the most important sexual organ is out brain!
If you are sure this is the guy for you, you really do need to push yourself - if you really can't say the words you need to express yourself, try writing them down and sharing them with him.
Take baby steps if this is what you really want!
2007-01-02 13:58:03 · answer #3 · answered by Turtleshell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are putting too much pressure on yourself...relax...when you are ready to completely ready to explore your sexuality you'll know. Right now it sounds like your body is ready but your mind is restricted and that's ok. Your mind will catch up eventually, you can't force it. It will just happen.
2007-01-02 14:15:09 · answer #4 · answered by BluLizard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU need to want to have it; not just him.
If you do want it and this is a serious problem FOR YOU, then there are some natural remedies that really work on this - pop down to a health store and ask them about it :)
good luck,
tasha
(maybe you're just not ready?)
2007-01-02 14:01:27 · answer #5 · answered by tasha 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just not ready. For some people it takes longer than for other to get ready. Give it time and don't just do it. You'll know, when you are ready. Tell your boyfriend that your body is not ready and if he really loves you, he will wait til you are.
I have just read your profile and you are saying you love Lesbians.
There you have your reason why.
2007-01-02 13:54:58 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Start slow. Take a class together. Start with clothing on massage, or kissing and when you start to approach you uncomforatble zone then tell him. Push yourself a little each time and you'll be ready for Crazy fun sex in no time.
2007-01-02 13:55:33 · answer #7 · answered by rknghavic 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Might want to talk to a counsoller or shrink; been with him for 4 years and you know wht you "like" doesn't go together.
so when you learned what you "like", who was it with adn what about that relationship is different formthe present one.
never a good idea to do anything that you don't want to do;
sounds like you (or both of you) need to talk it out with someone to help.
j
2007-01-02 13:56:26 · answer #8 · answered by jewells_40 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Trust and communication. Try wearing a blindfold (or a pillow over your face) and let him gently explore. Tell him how it feels, what you like and don't. etc. Try going a little further each session.
2007-01-02 13:54:31 · answer #9 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Start off slow by watching some porno's together. Have a few drinks and release some inhibitions. If you do it a few times, it gets easier.
2007-01-02 13:53:34 · answer #10 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋