!??! Was your dad ever abusive to you as a child?!
He has NO right to do what he did. Keep your child away from him!!!!
Your form of disciplining was also acceptable, as 3-year-olds often forget not to touch things. (And technically, he didn't touch it, just sat next to it). You did right by simply moving him away.
Your dad's reaction was abusive and out of proportion. Is he nuts? (if he doesn't have a history of abuse, he might be getting senile, or something age-related, so keep your eyes on his behavior!).
Your poor boy... make sure you attend to his needs. As for your dad-- he owes you both an apology. And do not ever, EVER let him be with your child alone.
2007-01-02 05:44:08
·
answer #1
·
answered by catwomanmeeeeow 6
·
2⤊
0⤋
I can see why you'd be shocked! That is abusive behaviour that your father portrayed onto your son. Children will be children,and of course he was curious about the puzzle. You are the parent & your father shouldn't have laid a hand on your little guy. Maybe your father was having a bad day,but thats not an excuse. You could talk to your dad & say that you teach your child by example, and that in futre it would be more constructive to have moved the object out of temptations way.After all he's only 3 years old! I wouldn't let your son have any alone time with grandpa until you set some ground rules on how he is to behave around your son. Hope this is helpful!
2007-01-02 05:55:28
·
answer #2
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
Your father has a serious anger management problem--make no mistake about it. And what he did constitutes child abuse. No ifs, ands, or buts--what he did is a criminal act.
The question is, what do you do about it? I suggest that you do the following: First, DO NOT allow your father near your son again--under any circumstances. I don't know if you are a single mother or not--but bring the boy's father in on this if possible--you need his support.
When you talk to your father about this, either take someone with you or do it over the phone. This is for your safety--and don't kid yourself you are safe--you are not. Tell him he will not be permitted near your son again unless and until he gets counselling--and the psychologist decides it is safe. If he argues, get a restraining order.
DO NOT accept any apologies or promises this will not happen again. He may be sinceere--but he is also mentally ill--and you CAN NOT trust his intentions or his promises--and will not be able to unless and until he has a good deal of therapy.
Don't negotiate terms--and don't compromise. You will not be doing your father any favor--you will only be placing your son (and yourself) at risk if you do. If your husband (or the boy's fater, if you are a single mother) does not support you, stand your ground.
Finally, your son may need counselling as well (and you may, as well). At the very least, take him, and yourself, to a qualified professional for an evaluation. And--you should inform your father that you are doing this. If getting counselling for your son means the psychologist must file a report with the authorities (the law may require this in some jurisdictions) DO IT. Failing to address your son's possible trauma can well lead to serious future problems.
A last word--if your father makes any repeat performances, attempts to threaten or intimidate you, go to the police IMMEDIATELY.
Good luck--I'll say a prayer foryou.
2007-01-02 05:58:30
·
answer #3
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
Before making any rash decision, take a deep breath.
Ask yourself these questions: Could your Dad be ill? Is he taking any medications that could effect his personality? Could something else be going on? Is there any other reason why he would treat your son like that other than losing his temper?
NOBODY has the right to mistreat a child, especially a 3 year old. A 3 year old doesn't need any more disipline other than a scolding, and maybe a time out - he wont understand anything else. Please dont doubt your parenting skills because of this! You are the one who decides how your child will be displicined, not your father!
I wouldn't make a big deal out of this around your son - he's watching for your reaction and will form his own based on yours. Just let it go as far as your son is concerned.
However, as far as your father goes, if there is no medical reason for him to act so strangely, Id let him have it with both barrels. If he cant explain himself, you need to do it for him.
I would not leave your son around him unattended any longer. He lost his grandparent privlidges!
I'd be curious to know if he treat you this way when you were growing up!
2007-01-02 05:48:39
·
answer #4
·
answered by DaBoomvang 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
Keep him away from your father! Whatever the problem! The lack of discipline the child is 3 and still learning, what kind of example did he set. The two of them definitely don't need to be left together without adult supervision. A puzzle that way over the top. Next, your child may or may not need more discipline who knows. But you could have limited his access to things that he should not touch. Yes, I know how quick 3 year olds are. But do your best. No one is perfect but the adults should be further along in the process. Good luck.
2007-01-02 05:46:41
·
answer #5
·
answered by Miki M 3
·
1⤊
0⤋
well 1st and foremost it is your responsibility to to keep him safe from strangers and people you know.
Well I would not of let my son sit near the puzzle anyways for fear of myself he would touch it.
Regardless what happened it does not make an excuse for an adult to act like that. I mean your son has only been on earth 3 years. That is nothing compared to your fathers what 40 years or so on earth.
Once my Father would of put his hands on my child in my presence I would of took my kid and left.
You need to make it clear you are your sons parent and the way he is discipline is your choice not his. Then I would tell your Father if he preferred you will not visit so your Father does not become so upset and feel the need to put his hands upon his grandchild.
I would definitely give it some time and let your Father have some time to think about it.
Then when you do talk I would say politely this is my son. If you ever put your hands on him again like that I will take the steps I need to protect my son. And add What kind of Mother would I be If I did not protect my child when he could not protect himself.
2007-01-02 05:52:15
·
answer #6
·
answered by grnevl 2
·
0⤊
0⤋
A few things. How old is your Dad? Could he be degenerating in his mind? Has this been a problem in the past or has he been loving and sensible? Be honest with yourself. It probably isn't that much of a shock when you think about it.
Maybe in your dad's mind, this is his brand of discipline. It's a tough choice but I think you will have to keep your child away from him. Your dad sounds like he comes from the "tough love, it-never-did-me-any-harm" school of child rearing and sadly, this sort of humiliation will only create a guilt ridden, pained adult in the long run.
Sorry to hear about this but you are going to have to discipline your dad and make it clear you will not put up with his behaviour.
Good luck.
And yes, grown men and women can be disciplined as well as children. Hey, we all need to be shown the way every once in a while.
2007-01-02 05:44:20
·
answer #7
·
answered by KD 5
·
1⤊
0⤋
That was an overreaction and a half!
Only you know what your dad is truely like. If he was abusive to you in the same way, then its history repeating itself and only you can say whether you should withdraw your son completely, for a few weeks or whatever.
If he wasn't, wait until your son is in bed and call your dad. Ask him what the hell was going on and tell him how out of order he was.
Remember though, your son being 3 means he is at a funny age. If you stop him from seeing grandpa completely, he may in time think he was wrong and he caused it.
As a parent, you should listen to your instinct and do what you think is right.
Good luck!
2007-01-02 05:43:50
·
answer #8
·
answered by keiraebony 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
Oh my word! That is atrocious behaviour from a grown man. I would not go there too often in future and I would make sure you keep your boy right by your side. Explain to your lad that you think Grandpa was very wrong to treat him like that. It will help him to know that he has your support. Who knows what the reasons were for it all but Grandpa could be sick or sickening for something. Even if there is a reason you, as the mother need to make sure that never happens again. Kids deserve better.
2007-01-02 05:43:03
·
answer #9
·
answered by breezinabout 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
That is unmistakeably child abuse. Your father has anger issues and should never be left alone with your child. If he does something like that in front of you, what would he do when you're not around.
When you've calmed down, try to speak with him. Tell him that you can't visit with your son until he has agreed to go to therapy. Offer to go with him or to find a group for him.
Three-year-olds can certainly test ones patience, but that's there job- to test their limits. However, responding with violence is never acceptable. There are other forms of discipline which are more effective.
2007-01-02 05:47:04
·
answer #10
·
answered by jooliejools 2
·
0⤊
0⤋