My lesbian girlfriend is leaving me cos her mum does not accept it. She says she still loves me but her mum will mum threatens to kick her out if she doesn't stop seeing me and stops this lesbian crap. Is that wrong of her to deny who she is? Won't it affect her later? I don't think it's fair that she should have to choose between me and her mum and I am worried about her. What should I tell her to convince her to stay? Or is it too late? We have been together for over 2 years.
2007-01-02 05:29:48 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If your friend loves you enough,she will come back.
For some people the family pressure gets to much.
If she can support herself she should do whatever she wants to do.
But the consequences can be tough.
I decided to go on with my lifestyle.
MOVED OUT .GOT MY OWN PLACE,MY FIRST LOVER AND HE MOVED IN.
HAVEN'T SEEN OR HEARD FROM THEM IN OVER 32 YEARS.
I ONLY KNOW THAT THE BIGGEST BIGOT OF THEM:MY FATHER DIED:GOODBYE
MY LIFE,MY CHOICE.
ROB.
2007-01-02 05:42:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's taken 2 years for this to become an issue? Strange, because in gay terms 2 years is a long time for a relationship. The best advice I can give you is to talk to her and explain how you feel, how you think it is extremely unfair of her mother to make ultimatiums and (perhaps above all) what of her future happiness. Is she going to allow her mother to poison every relationship she has to the point where she'll actually end up wanting to kill her mum for all the lost loves. One thing I would also say is her mum's control issues probably extend to more than being opposed to her sexuality. There has to be a cut off point where her mum realises she is being unreasonable and unfair on her child to the point she is being selfish. Whatever lies down the road for you and your gf - she needs to make a stand for everyoe, including her mum's benefit!!!
2007-01-02 14:09:43 · answer #2 · answered by waggy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it right for the mother to force her to made a decsion?
No.
However, unless she has the means to live on her own and wants to do so, as well as possibly being cut out of the family, then she doesnt have a choice.
If she stops seeing you that isnt her denying who she is. Shes just not outright showing it. Atleast with you.
And its not only going to affect her later but its going to affect her and her family.
Since your really not the problem and its more her mums outlooks on her 'lifestyle' im not sure there is much you can say. Its more between your lover and her mother then between you and your lover.
2007-01-02 13:35:23 · answer #3 · answered by Hal Mark 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, from your question, I get the impression that she is still financially dependent on her mom. If that is the case, then I'd give her some room until she gets to a point where she can take care of herself.
I think in any relationship, you have to be able to take care of yourself before you can take on someone else. Have you seen how many heterosexual relationships are doomed because someone is financially dependent on the other? At that point it isn't about the "love" within the relationship, it's about the need for care and financial burdens...
2007-01-02 13:49:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her mother is right. There is more to this than just you and your lover. In order for society to continue, gay relationships should not be tolerated. If gay relationships are constantly being beat down by society, then only the true gay will risk the ridicule and hate. The rest, mostly bi, can have a relationship where a baby can be born into a family and into society and contribute to the continuation of the species. So go get a boyfriend. Keep a girl on the side. (a girl in a relationship)
2007-01-02 13:35:33 · answer #5 · answered by m-t-nest 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋
She must stand proud of who she is. It's her truth and happiness that really matters. You would think her family would want her to be confident, proud and happy. Let her work this out for herself. It really has to come from her. No One should ever deny someone of their sexuality. Love and let love. Live and let live.
2007-01-02 14:36:55 · answer #6 · answered by cripesokay2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NEVER!
Be true to yourself.
I understand that some parents are not accepting of their gay children. In cases where the child has no other choice, they should stay in the closet until they can support themselves.
2007-01-02 13:33:06 · answer #7 · answered by Tegarst 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, It prevents ones individuality to develop properly. Someone should tell her mother to grow up and face reality; What her mother is doing is harming the emotional psyche of your girlfriend.
2007-01-02 13:36:10 · answer #8 · answered by grumpyfiend 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well i'm gay and i'm still in High School, only my cousins know about my sexuality in my family and i'm planning to tell everyone until I move out and go to college...that way wether their against it they won't see me living in their house and if their cool with it then OKAY lol : )
2007-01-02 15:19:49 · answer #9 · answered by Jose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to lead her own life and do what's right for her. Family is important, but we all have our own songs to sing and a life only we can live. If she's truly in love with you and you with her, you have the right to be together.
2007-01-02 13:34:56 · answer #10 · answered by Raca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋