What do you think of this poem?

Question

Just Another Day

And it wouldn’t make a difference if you could change me
Although I doubt you could
And it’s a gesture that you made
To show me that you cared and that you weren’t afraid

But I think I’m lost
And I’m sorry I’m not that brave
And you don’t know me
I’m just a faded lie of old past memories
Living in the emptiness that I´ve created

With nothing to lose
Nothing to gain
You wouldn’t know what you’d be getting into
So I’ll stop you there
So save your breathe
Now there’s nothing more to be said

I wish I could say, hold me now cuz that’s all I want
Talk to me cuz I need to hear your voice
But I back away cuz I know
I know I can’t hold you back, I don’t wanna let u fall
But what you need, isn’t what you see in me
What you deserve, is something I can never be

And all I wanna do is tell you this
But I’m loosing my grip and I think now its just better if I leave
So, please forgive me, If I left you in unclarity
It’s hard to find the right words to say
What im thinking, When I see you
And when I miss you

But it’s just so much better this way
And I hope you find someone, someday
Who’ll treat you right and be there for you everyday
And I hope you’ll forgive me in time
And I hope I’ll forget you in time
It’s easier on my conscience
So maybe I can sleep at night.

Oh thank you ratrace_72, but actually i havent figured out a tune for it yet, but heavy metal´s an interesting idea. =) And i really just started this out as a poem, so i havent come up with a chorus yet for turning it into a song...but thanks again for the thought. =)

Aww thank you so much chai w, and yes i did write it. Im glad you liked it. =))

lol jeffsgirlsr1, dont worry i dont plan to. =D

Thank you everyone for your compliments, i really, really appreciate them. =))


I wish everyone a really great day! =)

Answer 1

Maybe, and once, to ride again
Through the land of deserted lonliness,
But never could I go back to your place
Of longing and pining away.

But, I tell you truthfully,
Reflected is that land,
Wanting and toiling
But never again
To see your boiling tears.

Answer 2

That is the most depressing thing I've read in a very long time. You really should seek some help if this work is truly how you feel.

(sniff)

Answer 3

Very good but sounds sad and depressing. Did you right this after a break up? Sounds like you were saying you werent good enough for this person.

Answer 4

Sounds like a heavy metal song. Which paragraph is the chorus?

Answer 5

Passionately moving

Answer 6

although depressing it is easy to follow and very well written. Two thumbs up

Answer 7

Don't quit your day job.

Answer 8

i like it very much

Answer 9

I like it.

Answer 10

it waso nice did u write it ur very creative