IS lifelong active membership in an Anonyomous recovery program always necessary for complete recovery?

Question

I went for abut 2 years, did service work, but got tired of a lot of hypocrisy in the members, the useage of the program to excuse bad behavior in members who had been in the rooms for a ong while("we're sick but getting better") I am grateful I learned about how its easier to stay clean tha to get clean I no longe have issues about substances, and I have gone thru very trying times (deaths, operations etc) and it never occurred to me to use. I also credit NA fo helping me find my spiritual center, but stil I meet membvers who say oh you will rlapse and that i will not ake it without NA. I say they are brainwashed and afraid, that recovery programs should NOT become another crutch. I collected all my keytags and have been clean for anumber of years I relapsed in the program so I know what signs to watch for. Am I doomed wit to end up back in a gutter some day if I don't hurry back to "the fold" (lol i don't think so I am just asking)

also there is a saying in the rooms recovery is a journey not an event, i mean they that you are NEVER recovered, I think cause they think cause they they are afraid of saying they are recovered and think that their brains will tink its ok to use again (or in AA drink again) isn't this not allowing yourself to believe that you can get well and are well. I don't WANT to use or drink again I have had enough pain, i do not need to remember it by simply going to meetings. I have enough on the ball tha I cannot forget it.

Ok I am not agreeing with the 2nd person they d NOT know what they are talkingabout ..I am NOT saying recovery geroups are no good I could NOT have ever in a million years gotten clean and stayed clean without NA I owe NA MY LIFE... but after awhile shouldn't NA and AA ween people away?

she sis not even know what I meant by relapse, can I get people that have gone thru recovery and have gone to anonymous fellowships to answer here PLEASE

i think answeer number one may be on to something.... seriously

Answer 1

I was thinking of starting a group called "support groups anonymous," an organization dedicated to getting people to lose their addiction to support groups. Do you think it would work?

Answer 2

I was in an encounter group for people with depression once. All but one of us was a recovering alcoholic. I asked the group once if they continued to feel as though they might fall off the wagon. Every one of us did not and agreed with the idea that worried us most was the possibility of accidentally drinking from a misplaced cup at a party or something. We were all sober for 10 years or more at that time. I had asked because I was wondering how unusual it was that I felt that way.

Answer 3

Everyone is different. 12-Step has helped many, as you know, and continues to help some.
Like you, I object to the repeated warnings that you'll relapse if you don't continue with meetings forever.

I do believe there is such a thing as "being recovered." Ex-smokers never call themselves smokers in recovery. They stop! and become non-smokers. I don't like the cult mentality of scaring people into attending -- like saying you'll go to hell without us. Too rigid and narrow-minded.

You know what you need. You'll surely find out or see the warning signs, as you say. I wish you the best and trust you will have the best.

Answer 4

I have been sober for 21 years, and counting. I attended meetings religiously for about 1 year. After that it got kinda boring. I never finished the 12 steps, but haven't had a drink in all that time. I even play bartender for my wife after a hard days work. I tell myself every chance I think about it, "Today I will not drink". That sustains me till the next day.

Some people I'm sure need more than that. Some people need to go, and go, and go. If that is what they need to control their addiction, I applaud them.

I at this moment don't need that much structure to deal with my addiction. I believe that you'll know if you actually need to go. If that happens use the resources you have at your disposal.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 5

I don't think you have to go to NA or any other recovery program in order to stay clean. Not attending does not automatically equal relapse. However, many people find these meetings necessary in their recovery. There are those that are able to do it alone. I don't think that there is one all-inclusive "right" answer for everyone. Everyone is different. We are all wired differently and respond to different things in different ways. If what you are doing is working for you, keep doing it. But remember that there are other meetings out there with different people in them. Not all meetings are the same. Keep that in mind and good luck to you!

Answer 6

I definately agree that it is not a necessity. I think that it really depends on each person. For some it is a safety net; If I fall there is something to catch me before I hit the ground. Almost a security blanket. You sound like a very intelligent person whom would be able to catch yourself the same way thus making the need for the "security blanket" limited at best. I do think that it has helped some, but I don't think that it is a "one size fits all" solution for continued progress.

Answer 7

There is no reason to keep attending! especially since you can go back if you ever feel the need for a dose of support. For some substance abusers, these groups provide their only friends and it becomes a highly desired club culture--one addiction replaces another.

Congratulations on your success!

Answer 8

I think you already know your answer. You know yourself and what it will take for you to keep clean. I agree with you, you don't have to be a member "of the fold" forever to be clean and sober. That's the same hypocrisy that church people use to keep people coming back. . .you don't need a physical infrastructure to stay a float.

Answer 9

For what it's worth, as of jan 6th I will have been sober for 21 years, From 1995 to 2001 I went through a period where I was attending maybe a meeting once every third month..

I have to say as someone that experienced a long period without meetings I can say that life without alcohol and the steps is a miserable place to be.. I can relate to it.

In 2002 my wife and I separated and divorced, mostly due to my "dry drunk"..

The thought of "keeping the disease in check" for many means a lifelong affiliation with a 12 step group and maintaining active associations.

If you say they are brainwashed to some degree I agree, but I also say in many ways my brain needed washed.
It's not a crutch as much as it is a way of life. A crutch means that I am dependent on the crutch. Recovery means I became the crutch for others until they can support themselves and so on.

A dry drunk is a perilous place to be. You see the faults in others and fail to grow yourself. Just because you found a "spiritual" center, does not excuse the fact that "in order to keep it, you have to give it away"..

During my dry period I was much as you I found fault in everyone around me, I judged people in AA and NA harsely, and I was worse with my family.

I've not had "issues" with the cocaine, pot percodan and beer for 21 years, but I admit I still the selfish person to a much lessor degree then I was when walked into AA 21 years ago.

Today I hit 2-3 meetings per week, because that is what I need. For me it is a lifelong thing. The insanity of untreated "ISM" exists for me if I do not do that. I sponsor several people who in turn sponsor people.

The relapse question only you can answer. I can say had I not been going to meeting during the stress of separation, divorce and remarriage I would likely be back living on the streets instead of a comfortable house in the suburbs with my wife and kids. As I would have gotten to a point where I would not have gave a phuck.

2 years is but a beginning. This year alone I knew of several people that in similar mental states to what you described have gone back to the bottle or their drug of choice. One lady had 12 years, and came back flush faced wreaking of booze, another guy, ODd on heroin, Another guy I knew blew his brains out sober but not practicing the 12 steps. This just in the last month in my mid sized city.

it's your choice.

You might start by reading something from a man I met at our state re-union when I had about 2 years of sobriety.

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_theystoppedintime16.pdf


It is not something I can begin and end in a year, 2, 10 or 20 years.. It is daily reprive contingent on my spiritual development. My spiritual development involves carrying the message of hope regarding recovery to others.

I am of the school that in order for me to "Stay recovered" I have to keep at this thing and give back what I've been given. But that is my choice. You decide for yourself. If you can live life and feel strongly that your disease is abating, my hat is off to you.. If you can drink again more power to you and do so without resulting damages go for it.. I am not of the type that can A. Drink again, and B. Have recovery without some type of support of which I find in Alcoholic's Anonymous.. Call me one of the brainwashed, I used to think as you are now and can say with all sincerity and humility I don't envy where you are at.

To answer your "Journey and Not an Event" question again is as individual the human can be. For me, I see my dry date as a significant event in my life, Life is a journey with or without AA/NA.. I CHOOSE not to take the journey alone.

I would concur that there are many people and many different types of support groups. Some are absolutely laughable, but I have to say to each their own. I believe that Alcoholic's Anonymous saved my life by providing me with a way to live life without alcohol. I believe it continues to keep me from being suicidal by providing me with purpose. Purpose is the key to any recovery, (or being recovered).. I believe that some people find purpose in many different things. Some find it in 12 steps, others become church people, others dive into work or service. I think if anything becomes excessive AA included and detracts from the world around us then we are missing the point.