Sorry but I don't have the patience for children. I barely sleep as it is, and couldn't imagine waking to a crying baby at 2 am, I think I'd freak out. All my pals with kids are miserable, yet phony when their wives are around. I also notice a lot of women feel they are "in control" of their man once they have kids cause they know the guys will pay dearly if they leave. This is how I see it, sorry. I know all the women will say oh what a joy when you see him or her coming out of school and all that jive, but I think being married, traveling, going out when you want wherever you want is a whole lot better in my eyes. It's just my opinion. Hey kids are great for some people, maybe just not me. Anyone agree?? I know most women will Disagree, what about the guys? Thanks
2007-01-02 05:05:47 · 26 answers · asked by godzillasagoodman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That works for you....and that's good for you! But personally, it is not fulfilling to me to live life without children. I think if you can afford to spend time and nurture them along with being financially responsible for them...bear some fruits & live life! lol
2007-01-02 05:10:24 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I am a woman but I agree with you. Children are a huge responsibility and it lasts forever. The reason it lasts is because the love between parent and child is massive, relentless and forever. This can be painful because if they are ever injured, or are unhealthy and can't live a "normal" life, it hurts very badly to see it. They are a challenge and they are a joy. But if you do not want a 24 hour a day lifetime commitment, then do not have children. Even after they are grown, this love goes on.
There is nothing wrong with being childless! Some people are excellent parents, and some people should not be parents at all, and some people don't find out which category they fall into until after they have already had children, and then it's too late.
Of my 4 children, one has decided not to have children and i do not blame her a bit. She and her fiance have the life they want and it is the way they like it. A child is not in the picture for them.
By the way, it doesn't always break along gender lines. My former boss (a man) wanted children and now that he has them, he spends a great deal of time with them. He does not stress out over it. He really seems to enjoy his children.
2007-01-02 05:20:48 · answer #2 · answered by lifeisagift 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a child is not overrated, IF you are someone meant to be a parent. No one that doesn't want to be a parent should ever become one for any reason because only the child ends up hurting in the end (and the marriage will end if both people were not consenting to the baby). If your pals are phony when it comes to the kids, their marriages are already shams, sorry to say. Are they being phony to their wives, or phony to you? Which one of you have they pledged to love and you probably have the answer. No woman thinks they are in control once they have a man's child, in fact, it is the other way around since most of the parenting responsibilities typically fall on the mother, the father becomes the one with the power in the relationship.
I totally agree that you should never have children- it's obviously not something you are meant to do. Being a parent is the hardest thing in the world, and only the best people out there should be responsible for bringing up our next generation.
2007-01-02 05:19:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was very cool about the idea of having kids for some of the same reasons you gave. I was also unsure of how good a parent I would be, and it seemed to me that unless I was very sure I could do a good job of raising a child, it was better not to have any.
My husband and I were married for 15 years, childless by choice, when my mother suddenly and unexpectedly died. This was the first time I had been faced with the death of someone in my immediate family who was not old when they died. It really shook me up: I realized for the first time, on an emotional basis, that someone who I loved could be taken from literally any time, without any warning.
This set me thinking about the relationship I had with my husband. I realized that if something happened to him, all I would have of our life together and our love were photo albums and memories. And suddenly that wasn't enough anymore.
My husband and talked it over and decided that we would try to have a child. 18 months later our daughter was born.
She's 14 now, and I have to say that raising her has been a fabulous adventure. She's an awesome human being and I an quite humbled to have had a part in raising her. I see in her many of the qualities that make me love my husband and make her a lovable person. I can honestly say that having her was the best thing my husband and I did together.
Yes our lives did change forever, and there are things we had to give up. But in the 15 years before we decided to have our child, we'd done most of the things we wanted to do, and the things we had to give up were more than made up by the things we gained by having her.
You don't sound like you want to have a child or are ready to have a child anytime soon. You should enjoy the things in life that you can't do once you become a parent. Nobody should ever look at their child and think with regret about the things they gave up for the child; I can't think of a bigger burden to lay on a child.
Myabe you'll never be ready to have a child, and I personally think that's fine. All children should be born into a home where they are wanted and cherished, no parent should ever be resentful about a child's arrival.
But I have to say that having arrived at the time and place in our lives when my husband and I were ready to take on the challenge of having a child, it's the best thing we've ever done and I give thanks every day for the joy our daughter has brought into our lives.
2007-01-02 05:30:25 · answer #4 · answered by Karin C 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is overrated. There is no reason to have children any more (other than the whole survival of the species, reproducing and such). Back in the old days kids were benfecial because they could work. People needed more children to help work the land, or work in the factories and such. So to have children was beneficial. Now, children are nothing more than financial burdens. Why would you want to willingly put a financial burden on yourself? That doesn't make sense. Not to mention that your life is basically over. It's not about you anymore it's about the kid. So by having a child you gain a huge financial burden as well as lose any life you might have had.
Hey maybe when I'm in my 30s i might view having a child as a potentially rewarding experience, but right now I just don't see the benefit.
2007-01-02 05:20:54 · answer #5 · answered by NoName113 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I actually feel the same as you do; I myself don't like kids, and don't have a desire to have any. But the thing is, so many people just can't all be wrong... So I tend to feel that I am an anomaly in not wanting to have children. Beyond the pure (unmeasurable and untestable) "joy" of having kids, there are very tangible benefits - my grandmother spend the last 20 years of her life in the loving care of my mother, not alone in some terrible state-run old folks home. It was then that I figured I better have kids someday. I would hate to end up alone in the old age.
2007-01-02 05:23:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that kids are great for some people but not for others. I have two daughters who I LOVE. I would even go so far as to say that the birth of my first daughter taught me the true meaning of the word love; she has transformed me into a better man just from the fact of her existence. Nonetheless, I firmly believe that children are NOT for everyone! Sounds like you are one of those people, and I don't see a single thing wrong with that. Some friendly advice: get a vasectomy. I had one after our second child because we knew we wouldn't be wanting any more. It's relatively painless, cheaper than any other form of birth control in the long run, and it totally erases any worry about having unwanted children.
2007-01-02 05:12:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Kids are not for everyone and I am one of those people that said I would never have them. I love my sleep and my freedom way too much. Well I did have one and although I know I may never have a full nights rest again, it is soooo worth it. There is nothing on this earth that can compare to it. On the same hand if you know it is not for you than at least you recognize that.
I would be lying if I said I didn't dream about having my old life back, but there will be a time when my hubby and I can travel again and it will be so much more fun with our little one along.
2007-01-02 05:12:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have a child of my own and I would say that I disagree with you only as it applies to me. I've wanted to be a father my whole life and can honestly say that no awards, honors, degrees, nothing compares to the feeling that I felt the first time I held my son.
However, like I said, that's me. I can certainly understand that being a parent may not be for you. There is nothing wrong with not having children. I think the examples you cite are probably valid for a percentage of the population (although I would doubt it is the majority). I would say that you have a valid opinion that works for you at this stage in your life. It may or may not change. Either way, good luck to you!
2007-01-02 05:13:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong. If that is how you feel, then you shouldn't have children. Not all men pay dearly if they leave though--remember that! My son's dad has never paid any child support and he is disabled and 11 years old---and we are better off!!!! I don't think he deserves to be a part of my son--he is tooooo awesome!!! I do not like children--I can't stand to be around them--however, I have two beautiful sons and they are my shining glory!!! My second son's father is here and he is the proudest papa you would ever want to meet--he also likes to go abroad, go out and do couple things--it is called grandparents, babysitters and nannies--utilize whatever it takes--you do not have to give up your life for your children! HOWEVER--if you really don't want children--DON'T HAVE THEM!!!! You know what to do to prevent unwanted pregnancies--make sure you do--there are enough cases of child abuse, neglect and other problems with the system today, to have another child get lost in it because, one parent didn't want them!!!
2007-01-02 05:15:13 · answer #10 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You know what I felt the same way until I got pregnant so no you are not wrong for feeling that way. That is something you will learn to enjoy when it is your time. Now, I can not imagine my life without my son. I do remember how easy it was to get up and go but truth is not much has changed except the places I go with him which is simply maturity anyway. Whether I had him or not eventually I would have quit doing many things. We do travel alot still so he is my little "road dog" now(smile) He didnt damper my life but pretty much matured it. Enjoy life while you can though. Just do this for me even though you dont know me, "Dont completely write off the chance to experience what it feels like to have someone who loves you no matter what", with no expectations. that is very hard to cme by. Stay blessed!
2007-01-02 05:28:47 · answer #11 · answered by shay80800 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋