I have been engaged for 2 months and living with my fiance for 6 months. He truly gives me the world but I can't get over his past with girls. He has been with over 30 girls and Ive been with 3 guys Its hard to trust him b/c he is such a big flirt. i will hear him say thing to girls that he said to me when we 1st met. Am i blowing out of proportion?
2007-01-02 04:53:17 · 14 answers · asked by minipie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Definitely not. You need to sit down and have this conversation with him. Tell him that you are just concerned about taking this relationship to the next level while he continues to be flirtatious. Its only natural for you to feel the way you feel because you are engaged with him now. It's no longer a casual relationship. And it's only the right thing for you to expect more seriousness and commitment from him in this relationship.
2007-01-02 04:58:16 · answer #1 · answered by houstonian352000 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do need to trust him if you want this to go anywhere... The past has nothing to do with your relationship. There's nothing he can do about his past you should only judge him by what kind of partner he is to you now. Also, what bothers you more his 30 partners or your 3? You're recently engaged, that means that you're thinking about a wedding. Once you're married you're not supposed to be with any more guys. That means that for the rest of your life you'll only have the 3. Maybe you're making such a big deal out of this cause you're not really ready to commit and would like more time to discover yourself and meet new people... just a thought.
2007-01-02 05:04:26 · answer #2 · answered by Leohades 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The number of people you are with before you are married means nothing as far as your marriage goes. It's hard to say whether you're blowing this out of proportion without being a fly on the wall watching. Leave his and your former lovers in the past and move forward. The most important thing for your security at this point is that you communicate with him about what kind of marriage he wants and if monogamy is important to him. Talk about what would happen in the event of an affair. Tell him how you feel when he flirts with other women. Pry those lines of communication open before you're married and keep them open forever after. :)
2007-01-02 05:12:15 · answer #3 · answered by Peace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
u both deserve separation/ what is ur religion/U need some meditation for some time self realisation/ u can never be happy together if u marry/ yr old age will be hell/ leave that country where u live/settle down somewhere else/ keep my email with u n tell me after two months/ Pl dont take chances/ The stages u hve passed should be an eye opener/dont misunderstand n accept the reality/ humane beings make the mistakes/ in ur case i can understand but the guy / well i hve no sympthy / its too much/ change your path / tomorrow is always another day. God bless u.
2007-01-02 05:04:06 · answer #4 · answered by raashi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your fiance apparently needs the extra attention! If he hasn't gone out on you and cheated, I wouldn't worry about it. If it truly bothers you, talk with him about it. Especially if you two plan to wed! Your talking about your future here. Just because he's been with 30 girls and you with only 3 guys, who's counting-that shouldn't make a difference-it happened before! The past can't be changed, and he didn't even know he was going to meet you-right? Have a good loving talk, and start from there..
2007-01-02 05:02:18 · answer #5 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I would wonder how many of these other women he might have proposed to. If you are the first woman he has proposed to I might reevaluate my thoughts. Some individuals flirt because they have this insatiable need for attention because they look to people on the OUTSIDE for affirmation and to feel good, rather getting that affirmation on the inside. You may be the type of person who has a stronger sense of self-esteem and therefore do not look outside of yourself for affirmation and approval.
Of course having an open conversation about your feelings could be quite revealing. You know may tell him how you feel about the "flirting" and try to get to the core of what his true intentions are. Especially if you are going to get married having open communication and discussing tough subjects is imperative.
I wish you the best.
2007-01-02 05:03:10 · answer #6 · answered by Suzanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are not blowing things out of proportion. Sounds like neither of you is ready to tie the knot. Slow things down and get some counseling before marriage rather than figure out afterward that you made a mistake.
2007-01-02 04:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is using the same lines on others that he used on you what does that say about him. Hunny you are either going to have to live with it or move on. Talk to him and see if he changes. It should be important that he starts thinking of commiment since you 2 will be getting married and not how many girls he can flirt with.
2007-01-02 04:58:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you agree to marry him in the first place, if this is an issue for you. You should never marry anyone you don't trust completely. This is a marriage killer, whether the other person is being unfaithful or not.
2007-01-02 04:59:12 · answer #9 · answered by PDH 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you don't trust him don't marry him. maybe move out .why pay for the cow when the milk is free. did you pressure him to be engaged. maybe he just thought he was ready for a full time commitment. move on with your life don't live with doubt and trust issues. your worth more than that
take care
2007-01-02 05:03:21 · answer #10 · answered by janiebug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋