can my babys mom keep my daughter away from me?

Question

i give her child support every 2 weeks and the month of december happened to have 5 weeks i dont make much money and she is on my insurance which makes my paychecks even smaller. I give her 200 bucks every paycheck and i gave her 400 bucks already and on the 29th she wanted 200 more. I was willing to give her 100 bucks to make it 500 bucks for the month but she didnt want to take it now she wont let me see my daughter until i get lawer and we take it to court. She is 2 years old and she doesnt go to day care, my mom watches her for 20 bucks a day 3 times a week what can i do to see my little girl if the going to court takes long. I live in Illinois near chicago

Answer 1

If the two of you can't agree on things, then that is why they have courts and lawyers. You get everything in writing and the person who disobeys the court is the "bad guy".

Some insurance companies may not allow a non-cohabitating non-partner to be signed up as a "spouse". She may lose that if she makes you go to court. (Dependent children - i.e. you support, your mom babysits, etc. are usually easily covered.)

Be sure for the money it's going to cost, that you get everything in writing the first time. What you must pay - money, insurance, etc. What visitation you get - how many evenings, weekends, holidays, vacation, etc. Whether you get a break on support for the time she spends with you, i.e. would you have to pay the mother while you took your daughter for a 2-week vacation? When does it end? (Age 18? If she moves out? What if your daughter decides at 14 to move in with you? What if momma leaves her with HER mom and goes off to Hollywood?) What happens if you become unemployed? I know of several fathers who had good jobs and large support payments. Their union went on strike, and for 3 months they were expected to cough up $900 a month even though they had NO income. And, if you don't, you're "deadbeat" until it's all paid back. Some places don't allow deadbeats to even renew drivers' licenses...

I suspect a large percent of the "deadbeat dads" you read about in the news are actually behind on payments because of financial problems, not because they are avoiding paying.

My opinion - I bet the courts agree - parenthood is not a "rental agreement" or "pay as you go". You are either a parent or you're not. Whether you can participate in our child's life should not depend on how much you shell out. It should only depend on whether you want to be part, whether you are a capable and non-abusive, non-neglectful parent.

Similarly, the cash only depends on one thing - are you the parent? It's not dependent on anything else, and shouldn't be used as a lever.

It sounds like she's ticked off at you because you're getting along without her, and she's either jealous or annoyed that you are, so she'll do any petty thing she can to get even.

Of course, if it gets nasty, then expect each side to drag out all the legal tricks- the usual one being, to show the other parent is abusive or neglectful. Nothing says "never talking again" like dragging up every sordid incident of the other person's past. This usually happens when one side wants to take custody from the other. It doesn't sound like you're looking for this, so you should be able to stay above this.

You should ask if there are mediation services to avoid a formal court battle (and whether they would be cheaper).

Answer 2

The only one that can deny you visitation with your child is the other parent (if there is a court order) and the courts. Does the grandmother have custody of the child? If yes, take her to court. Patience is what is needed here. As bad as it sounds, if you call threatening or just being angry, when you take this to court, it will look bad on you, not her. Please tell me that you have either canceled checks, money order stubs or some kind of receipt that you have given her all of this money. Without some proof to show family court that you have been paying what you have indicated, she can deny fully that you have ever given her a dime. At the very least, you have her on your insurance and that is easily proved. Even when everyone is amicable, at some point, someone is going to get mad and try to use children to punish the adult they are mad at. Please don't delay. If you want to see your child and be part of her life, either get a lawyer or get all parties involved to go through arbitration. Once there has been a judgment of custody, if anyone tries to block you from seeing your daughter, they will be in contempt of a court ruling and could be subject to fines &/or jail time.

Answer 3

It sounds by your description that there are not court orders in place regarding custody, visitation and support for your daughter. It would be in your best interest to file in court and go all the way so that there are guidelines both you and she can follow for future. Along that line it is important that you keep accurate and complete records regarding the amounts you have paid, the daycare your mom does, and the times you have spent with your child so that when you do go to court you can have a higher amount of custody/visitation which will, in the long run, lower your support payments. Thank you for being a dad who actually takes care of his responsibilities, even though your daughter's mom does not see it right now. Happy New Year!

Answer 4

If you have a court order allowing you visitation she cannot just change that order. Until she goes to court and complains about your "lack of paying" and attempts to get visitation changed, nothing about your visitation order changes. Call your lawyer or the police if you are being denied your court ordered visitation. Visitation is NOT just on her whims and wishes; it is based on the courts decision.

Your support amount is ridiculous since you pay for insurance too... there is no way it costs $800 a month to raise a two year old (since moms and dads are SUPPOSED to contribute equally to the care of the chid). You're not paying for the mothers insurance too, are you? Immediately yank her off and ONLY keep your daughter (the only person you are legally responsible for) on the policy.

This is why you should very CAREFULLY choose who you are going to procreate with.

Answer 5

Get a lawyer. Do you realize that all the money you have been giving her does not count as child support if it's not something that has been structured by the court ? In other words, when you go to court you will be liable for back child support starting at her birth. You're a fool for not going to a lawyer from the beginning. Stop crying, get some balls, and go see a lawyer now. The longer you wait - the worst you'll get screwed. Also, why didn't you use a condom ? Oh that's right, because you're an idiot.

Answer 6

The good thing is you have a court date. There is no legal way she can keep you from seeing your child unless the court has orderd such limited visitation or you have been proven unfit. Keep a journal of all the times your childs mother makes any unreasonable demands, or refuses visitation. This will work against her in court. Just be the bigger person for now until you go to court. Just please, no matter what, do not fight or argue in front of the child and do not disparage her mother in front of her. Keep your daughter innocent in all of this!!!

Good Luck and keep up the good work!!!

Answer 7

In Minnesota since my bf and I were not married when we had our kids, i have full physical and legal custody and can make all decisions for our children without his input. He voluntarily gives me 100 dollars every time he gets paid, which is twice a month. I have restricted his access to the girls because he is an abusive alcoholic who routinely verbally abused our children and neglected them by getting drunk and passing out while they were in his care. He also has a seizure disorder that he refuses to take care of, and goes against his doctors advice by not taking his meds and therefore has at least two seizures a month. He can see his girls whenever her wants to as long as it is supervised by myself, his mother or his siblings. He chooses to see them once or twice a month. He could see them at least 3 or 4 times a week if he chose to.

You need to take their mom to court and figure out a court ordered visitation and child support plan.

Answer 8

First off she can not keep you from seeing your child. Second off you might want to go through Children Services, and they can figure out how much you should be paying a month for child support. They go by your income and her income. That might save you some money per month, so you can have money to live on.

Answer 9

she will. i actually did not examine the completed submit as a results of fact i do unlike capital letters. yet besides, sure she will. you're a minor. although she will try this, she is your mom and he or she's doing it to your sake. Why not sit down her down and characteristic a mom-daughter communicate regarding the kind you want your babys dad on your existence. If she loves you, she'll pay attention.

Answer 10

I don't think she can keep your daughter from you. But take her off your insurance and just keep the baby on your insurance becasue you shouldn't have to pay for 3 people. She should be on her own insurance. Does she even have a job? Try to get full custody of your daughter. Tell the mom you won't pay her $500.00 a month and that she needs to get a job and that your taking her off your insurance.