30 year old crisis? What should I do?

Question

Any other 30 year olds or older have this happen? I'll be 30 years old pretty soon. When I was a little younger, i.e. college and high school, I always figured once I got out of college I'd find a career, beautiful wife, etc, and start establishing myself. This hasn't all worked out as I thought. Since I got out of college I've had 6 jobs in 6 years, and very little in the way of a satisfying love/social life. I can't seem to figure out what to do or what direction to take. Many of my friends, acquaintances and relatives seem to be getting financially settled, etc, and it's really stressing me that I'm not. I've heard of a mid-life crisis, but this seems WAY early for that. What did you do if you had this problem? Advice?

Answer 1

I'm sorry, but it sounds like a maturity issue. You need to commit to something or you will never be financially settled, etc. Find a job and stick to it. Try to improve yourself in any way you can. The rest will come.

Answer 2

Learn to be happy with the life you have. Love yourself. Stop placing high expectations on yourself - not everyone finds love and becomes financially stable by 30. Are you doing what you love for a living or did you choose a career that just isn't a good fit? It's not too late to go back to school and find a new career. As far as the "wife" issue goes, start frequenting places that a like minded woman would be going to. Keep your standards high in that department and don't settle for less than you want (and don't mess around with less than your standard beforehand- that could put you out of the running completely!). Take a class on something you like and see if there isn't someone you're interested in, in that class. Above all, don't stress, and don't feel bad about turning 30. It's just a number and you shouldn't measure yourself against anything but happiness.

Answer 3

The job thing really depends on why you've had so many. Fired, Quit. Unhappy and unfullfilled? What the reason is is the clue. You may need to find a different avenue or just say I am staying with this until I get to the next level. Maybe school at night will help get you up the ladder? Do what you need to do to improve your skills while you have the time and no family. As far as a social life are you asking anyone out, meeting people? Get family and friends to fix you up at dinners or parties or out with a few people then maybe ask on your own. Ask those that know you what they think? Trusting friend or family member would be the best. They know you and will be ablw to tell you. Ask them to be honest and if you need help, go get it. Maybe you have ADHD and can't stay focused. It can be and it would be sad if you were able to take a pill and be fine wouldn't it? I would look into all possibilities and try to do something positive to help myself. Good luck. Love coming your way.

Answer 4

Look you are still young. Stop comparting your life to others and focus. You obviously have a smart head on your shoulders. What I wish I would have done was focus solely on my career and then get married. I am now 36 and I have a wonderful wife and 2 awesome kids but I am not where I wanted to be financially by now.
You have so much life left and you will find that job and you will find your true love. Money can be a very stressful thing on a relationship and if you add kids into the mix then it makes that financial freedom that much harder.
You will meet the one for you at the time when you are mostly not looking. That is how I met my wife and mostly how my friends met theirs.
Keep poistive and things will happen for you.
Happy New Year

Answer 5

That's pretty much me too, along parallel lines. I'm a couple years older and finally getting settled. Does that help calm you. I actually do see that a lot in my family and friends. Even the ones who seemed to have things together before have to regroup after big changes in late twenties or early thirties. At least you know you are still searching by the restless feelings though. You might just have to 'walk' off the restlessness and then you will be able to settle.

Answer 6

It's not a mid-life crisis. Mid-life crises are the exact opposite. Usually stable men with wives, families, jobs, etc that feel as though they need to go sow their wild oats again. What you're experiencing is a wake up call. You're realizing that your life is not what you always thought it would be (NO one's is, trust me). Now it's up to you what to do to change that. Get motivated and start looking into ways to be more stable in your career I would say is the first step. Also, quit worrying about what other people have. There will always be someone who has more than you do. Find happiness with what you DO have.

Answer 7

I agree with Emily....I was 30 when I finally got my sh*t together. I got a great paying job (after paying my dues at the company I was with), found the love of my life at 31.

Just relax! Don't stress and don't think there is something wrong with you....there isn't, its just the way your life has worked out. When you learn to relax and give yourself a break, you will find a wonderful woman to spend your life with.

So, I guess my best advice is to relax and be thankful for the things you have now. Enjoy what you have, don't focus on the things you don't have.

Answer 8

My fiance is going through the same thing right now. He's recently turned 31. He has me and he's happy but he always wanted to 'make something' of himself and he feels like he hasn't done that yet. He's going back to school to try and make it happen in August. It's not a mid-life crisis...it's the 30 crisis. It's normal. Why not talk to a career counselor at a university and see if they have any suggetions.

Answer 9

Welcome to the club dude. I'll be 32 in a few weeks so I know the feeling. Just realize, nobody's life turns out how they vision. It's never that easy and things like meeting the right person sometimes don't happen in your twenties. I have a lot of friends who own houses and have better jobs. I realized when I compare myself to them I feel anxiety. So I quit doing it. Just remember, there's people out there who compare themselves to you and feel like you're doing better. The best thing to do is don't use the 30 year birthday as a measuring stick. Just sit down and think about where you want to be and the steps to get there. And have fun. There's a lot of great single women your age. Then you're married friends will be jealous of you.

Answer 10

Hi there. First, you are not even 30 yet so no worries. You are young! 2nd. Start making a list of what your likes are. Make some goals and reach for them. What do you really want to do for a living? Check out sbhools and take some classes to get you the job YOU want. A relationship will come when you are not looking.