this for the fellas, but ladies if you have a answer feel free to answer too, my friend husband is acting bad?

Question

my friend husband treated her wrong on new years eve, ok they just had a baby 3 1/2 months ago . they went out since then, trying to get back to normal . ok they had a nice day the baby was with the granny, so they went to breakfast, went to the movies . the baby had been gone since 10:00 that morning, so she was kind of missing the baby. they were not going to see the baby till tomorrow afternoon/ evening . she made a comment in the movies she said i don't think i will be able to let the baby spend the night, i miss him. she said it, you know kind of like a joke. he blew up he said he was not going to take her anywhere. he start yelling. so they did'nt celebrate new year eve or new year day together matter of fact they are not speaking. what the hell did she say wrong? she did not say she did not wanna go out, she just simply said that she miss the baby,it was the first time having the baby spend the night out. who was in the wrong here I wanna hear from the fellas first on this

Answer 1

the husband is wrong. its very normal for a new mother to miss her baby even for a short time.

Answer 2

They should've perhaps tried weaning themselves off being away from the baby. In other words, don't make the first time you are away this 18 hour or overnight thing. Of *course* her mind is going to wander back to the kid - that's only natural.

First go away for an hour or two. Next time go away for 2 or 3. Then go away for 3 or 4. Then half a day. Then half a day plus dinner. 6 weeks later you can go away for quite a while and not freak out.
*Not* "the first time away let's go to the movies, go to dinner, go drinking, go home, build a dog house, remodel the kitchen, make love all night..." geezus! People that goofy shouldn't be allowed to have kids. Really.

On the other hand, it's nice to not think about the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby the baby for a few hours every now and then.

He was right to want some time for just them. He was unrealistic and childish in his reaction; they were both unrealistic in thinking they could go so long their first time away from the baby. Ease into it - just like good sex. It's always better when you ease into it.

Answer 3

First time parents have a heck of a time balancing things out. Some women become mothers 24/7 and forget they also NEED to be wives/friends/lovers to their husband if they expect the marriage to last. Men some times feel ignored, by their wives and are made to feel guilty for wanting to have time with their wives. The baby is completely dependent on someone else to survive, but that does not excuse the mother or father from their responsibilities to their spouse. I've read many questions about husbands straying when the wife is pregnant or has just given birth. I don't know the answer, but I do see the problem.

Answer 4

The "Husband" needs to grow up and now "accept" the fact that for right now the baby will sometimes come first and he will not always be the CENTER OF ATTRACTION. I see where the wife said nothing wrong all she did was state how she was feeling about the baby.

Answer 5

obviously he wanted to spend some time making love to his wife without the worry of the baby interuppting things, too often parents lose contact with each other when a baby comes around and then the wife wants to know why her husband has had a affair,

tell her to stop being a baby,, let the kid spend the night, or have grandparents take care of the kid for a few hours, and enjoy the time,

it is fine to miss your kid, but miss your husband too,

Answer 6

the baby is the new love in the mom's life so, i totally understand that she missed her baby. the husband wanted to spend some time alone with the wife because with the new baby things have been busy and he wanted to take a break and enjoy ONE day with the wife with no interruptions. both of them have a point but he didnt have to over react. I say: talk to the husband and discuss each other's points of view.
good luck!

Answer 7

Well for one her husband wants everything to rovlove around him now that the baby is been taken care of. But he shoudl have said Look the baby is fine don't worry, when the movie is over you can call and find out for yourself, Not throw a fit like a baby. SO your friend's husband can't get it that their is a baby now and his wife attention will go more to teh baby than him and he doesn't like that. HE shoudl be ahame of himself and grow up

Answer 8

I think the husband is an a**. It's his baby too and a new one at that!! Of course she is going to miss the baby the first time out and it shouldn't be an issue talking about it. He should understand. It sounds like he just wants to forget about the kid when they are out....which to me is weird, your kids should never be forgotten! He has some underlying issues he should deal with!!!

Answer 9

i think your friend's husband doesn't know how to deal with the changes in their relationship since the baby has come along. he has to realize that everytime he wants couple time, he can't get it, because their is a new life that they both brought into the world. also, it may be that your friend, in his opinion, is clinging onto the baby too much, and what made him erupt is the fact that he really wanted to spend time with her, the way things were, and she can't take her mind off of the baby. it sounds like they both need to have more couple-only time.

Answer 10

well all guys are different and set off by different things, he must feel like hes not wanted and when she said that it was a trigger might be a bad start to father hood... or her may just need time to get use to the way the things are going to be the rest of their lives, but she didnt do anything wrong its a mother thing she didnt want to or isnt comfortable enough to leave her baby somewhere, maybe time is a cure.