My mum has got a new boyfriend?

Question

My mum and dad broke up when i was 11, my dad whent of with a woman and me and my mum moved to spain, I keep in touch with my dad but I wouldent want to move there. I am going to a spanish high school and ive only got 1 friend but that friend seems to like this Bitc* better than me. So she keeps going to her house and not mine. The boyfriend is ok but my mum keeps on ignoring me then she askes me to do house work. I have got 1 good friend that I met when I was 3 but she isnt always free. I have got a friend in UK but I dont really see her. My mum and him want to move house (im ok with that) but I just want my mum and no one else. I have talked to my mum about my feelings and she listens but when he is around she still ignores me. I dont know what to do really. Im just finding it hard to deal with and I aam very potective of her. I would really like to get home educated but mum dosnt have the money.

Answer 1

Stop being selfish hun, your mom has a right to be happy 2.

speak to your friend, and tel her how your feeling.

My parents spilt to, but luckly they both live in uk.

Try makin more friends..... and stop being so dependant on people.

Answer 2

I'm sorry to hear that you are in such a way that you cannot feel happy for your mother. Whereas i can fully understand your situation, i would also understand your mothers too. It sounds like you are very lonely, and really miss your mum. It is always difficult when someone else comes into the family when it has been just the two of you for a certain length of time, but you need to understand hun, that we all have to move forward with our lives, but that doesn't mean that anyone is moving you out of the picture. You mother will still love you, and will do to the end of her days. It can be just as hard being a parent too. Although children always come first, we do tend to think about our future too. withouth forgetting about our children. Maybe you think she just ignores you, but how do you know she isn't thinking about anything you have said?. When a relationship begins and children are involved, there is always one hell of a lot of compromising to be done. Neither children nor partner should be "put on the shelf",but an even balance in communication, love, trust and happiness etc should be there. It is never easy. Let your mother know how you feel, without shouting at her. You can tell her your upset etc, and what you would like. But by being a bit untrue to your feelings and yourself, things may not be sorted. I wish you all the best with your situation hun. Take care. x

Answer 3

Darling, it's great that you're able to talk to your mum about your feelings.
And, as you acknowledge yourself, you do want her for yourself, you're overprotective of her, and for the right reasons.
But, as you're growing older yourself, you seem to have worked out that your mum needs an adult's love as well as yours.
And I think that despite the hurt that it's causing you having to share her with somebody else, you do understand that it's right.
Don't stop talking to your mum about your feelings;
I don't think she's ignoring you, or doesn't want to know.
Maybe it's just fresh this thing with this guy and most often than not, her head is high in the clouds when he's there.
Try and ask her for a girly night with her sometime, and take the opportunity to talk to her again, and also, just enjoy having her just to yourself.
You're doing great, as I can imagine this situation musn't be easy for you.
Try and see if you can make new friends in your school.
They don't need to be best friends, just some boys and girls you might have things in common with, and would go to the cinema or to the shopping centre with.
And also, yes you know that you can always ask other adults for their opinions here if you have any difficulties approaching your mum with.
Good luck babe.
Things will get better.
Happy New Year.x

Answer 4

Listen darling, it's hard to share your parents with anyone, but they have a life too, try and get along with her partner more, it will work, i have step-sons, 1 i get one with great the other not so great, that's because 1 accepted me the other didn't. It was really hard for my husband, he was right in the middle, and if you don't learn to get on together , that's exactly how your mum will be.... Just give it time, at the end of the day, your parents will always love you no matter what, and that should go without saying, im not being funny but give your mum a break, she needs to be happy too, and if your happy she will be happier, learn to get along with them both together.. I kinda know how you feel, but at the same time the statement above makes you sound like a spoilt child!! Give it a go Hun, your mum will respond believe me, don't have attitude just chill and try it!!!

Answer 5

You feel this way because you need your mom and she isnt showing you the attention all the time that you need and want from her. Mabye she thinks that since you are getting older, she can have a lil bit more time to herself, like having a boyfriend. Partly you do need to get more friends, and get out more. Can you try joining a group, club, or sports team at school? That is one way to make friends and maybe not feel so lonely. Maybe joing a church. Remind your mom what she said when the boyfriend is around. If she wont listen, then you just have to make your own life. Just be careful that you feel so lonely that a boy will take advantage and tell you he loves you just to have sex, ok?
I always felt alone as a teen, very lonely, but it always helped me to feel God with me. Maybe that would help you too. Hope its ok if I pray for you.
Even though its hard, sometimes to find a friend, you have to be somebody's friend first.

Answer 6

You need to chill out a little honey. if you have the attitude that your friend likes "this bit.ch better than me" I'd hazard a guess that you're being a little possessive & you need to lighten up a little. Your Father has gotten on with his life & your Mother has the right to do that also....I'm always a little weary of people that claim to be doing something because they feel "protective" over another. If you're feeling that protective...then allow others to do as they wish, just be there for them, if & when they need you.
Cut your Mother some slack & accept that she has feelings for others yes! but that doesn't interfere with the feelings she has for you....you cannot replace in your Mother the need for a male partner in her life, just as any male cannot replace in her the need she has for you as her daughter.

The more you try to hold someone down, the more they'll want to get away from you....yes! that includes family members as well.

I bet when you're ready to meet the love of your life & run off into the sunset together...there's nothing your Mother or anyone else for that matter could do to stop you...You'll then be quoting phases such as "this is my life"
"I'll do as I want & no-one can stop me"

You need to relax a bit & enjoy your Mother's new found happiness as much as she does....then & only then will you feel secure enough to accept that life consists of a little more than just you in it....although that doesn't stop you from being your Mother's life. You can enjoy more than one person in your life...whether that means your mother or your friend...if you can learn to share, then you'll find you have a lot more than just trying to get everything/one for yourself.

Answer 7

HI-, I think your mum has had enough heart-acke when your dad left her, she went through umiliation, her mind was in a twirl just emagine if it was you who was sufferingshe had to think of you has well,She also had to bring you up alone, She would have gone through the same emotions as burrying a dear one, So encurage her to enjoy what she has got life is to short, Tell your mum that your sorry for not giveing her your blessing & tell her you thought you was going to be ignored, & you & your mum will Have a better relationship & work on it, Good luck to you both;

Answer 8

hello...

that happened to me when i was (much!) younger. unfortunately, your mum does have a right to her own life, as much as she loves you. i think by spending time with her boyfriend also, she may be trying to encourage you to be a bit more outgoing and sociable in finding friends your own age. that way, when your older you wont feel so protective and dependant. im also very protective of my mum so i know how it feels. i think my emails listed on here somewhere if you need to talk a bit more, just try not to let it get you down so much....enjoy being young! xx

Answer 9

hi honey firstly i was taught at home and you dont need money to be taught at home you just need some decent text books and the right education..i went to an adult college at 12 till 16 and took my gcses as young as 12,my dad taught me at home and i was going to an adult college at the same time..you dont need money!!
secondly your mum desesrves her happiness with her boyfriend,it is proobably hard for you as you feel alone and you feel your mum is pre occupied with other things such as her boyfriend but she just wants to be happy,and you need to make new friends too.maybe go to a youth club or martial art class of some sort to meet other people your age?good luck with everything xx

Answer 10

I think it's important to know that your Mum does love you. It's just, sometimes, parents don't always show it. It took my Dad about twenty years before he told me he loved me! My Mum can seem distant but, ultimately, I know she'd be there for me.

Also, I know you feel protective towards your Mum but it's important to remember that she knows what she's doing. Don't worry too much, she will know when something's right or wrong for her.

Answer 11

try to put yourself in her shoes she's just wanting attention just like what u want from her find a Hobie keep yourself busy give her a little time he will get old to her but you will always be her baby and the love of her life i don't think she is ignoring you on purpose she loves you trust me i have to girls and there is nothing that will ever take your place in her heart keep your head up and all the best of luck to u