My father was a severe alcoholic for 20 years or so. In the early nineties he detoxed and never touched a drop again. He started running and has complete four marathons. In 2001 he had an accident and it ruined his back. He ended up retiring and now for the past two years he has been on pain meds (vicodin) and drinking all the time. He is remarried to a very nice lady who married him when he was sober. She seems to be really "hands off" and wont stand up to him or confront him about his drinking. It is a problem because he can't just have one or two social drinks,,,he drinks all day sometimes. I think even though he is in pain from his back he should seek other forms of pain management besides pills because this contributes to his addictive personality. I really dont know what to do. He called me late last night all drunk, saying the same things over and over....I feel really sorry for him....has something like this happend to you?
2007-01-02 03:33:14 · 7 answers · asked by adrixia 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My main concern is for you, have you spoken to anyone from Al Anon? the group that helps the families and friends of alcoholics, if you are not a recovered alcohilic yourself best that you do not try to help just at the moment anyway. This really does break my cold black heart, thanks for sharing your story
2007-01-02 03:36:12 · answer #1 · answered by northcarrlight 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I was married to an alcoholic for 23 years. He never quit for as long as your father did, but he would quit. Then start again, then quit again. He always worked, but when he was drinking he would go through $500.00 a week at the bar. Life was an emotional and financial roller coaster. Honestly, in my situation, it would have almost been easier if he would have just drank all the time--at least I would have known what to expect from day to day.
Go to your local chapter of Alcoholics Anonymous. They have a wealth of books there that are sold at virtually no profit...so you can afford to buy several. Read them all. It does help. You will see that others have gone through the same thing.
Once you have familiarized yourself with the disease (and I do hate calling it that, it is self-inflicted) talk to your dad about AA Offer to attend some meetings with him.
Whatever you do, don't beat up yourself over your dad's addiction. You did not cause it, you cannot cure it. You can only help him help himself. And he has got to WANT to help himself.
M
2007-01-02 11:43:01 · answer #2 · answered by maamu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although this has not happened to me I have witnessed it several times. Myself am sober for 29 years an have the help of A.A. members to thank for this sobriety. Yes pain can be debilitating but after 12 years your dad should know better. If he was involved with A.A. perhaps you can contact someone from there to speak with him. If not you might want to start going to Alanon to learn how to live with this disease. If you know his family doctor maybe you can speak with him about your concerns and let him know of how much your dad is drinking. You sound like a very thoughtful and loving daughter and as such if you can approach your dad during a time when he is sober let him know what you see and feel and that you preferred a sober father to a drunken one. It is very hard sometimes to live one day at a time but with sobriety that is how it works. Best of luck in trying to find some help for your dad and hopefully he will once again return to the father that you learned to love and respect.
2007-01-02 11:42:17 · answer #3 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think for all addicts the addiction, at least mentally, is still there. A lot of addicts once they recover often replace their addiction with a healthier form of stimulation, more often than not exercise.....
when your father was no longer able to exercise he probably turned back to the only thing that could fill his need for stimulation.
If he abuses alcohol it is likely he will abuse other forms of pain meds as well.
2007-01-02 11:37:26 · answer #4 · answered by Curious George 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally know what it is like to fight that stuff. I am on and off the wagon my self. I like the tast of it and, will get upset if some one sticks their nose into my personal space., especialy when it is none of their buisness any way.
One thing for sure, is keep clear of him if he has realy tanked him self up. Your only recorse is to quietly pack up and leave him, and be prepaired for his ranting and raving to get you back.
good luck
2007-01-02 11:44:05 · answer #5 · answered by duster 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well let me say this, if ur dad was a murderer does that mean u are no ..................... that could happen to anyone not just a pecificly u ...............................................................
oops i read the question wrong but uh ,lol my uncle and my aunt both died from alcholism ~excuse my spellin~ its sad
2007-01-02 11:41:08 · answer #6 · answered by ridgelladmin04@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!!!!!!
2007-01-02 11:34:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋