She says she still loves me but needs to live her life. How do I win her back?

Question

After 5 years of being with the most amazing women I have ever been with. I have messed up and done some damage in the past few years of those 5. You see I suffer from the disease of addiction and while I am in recovery now and I am clean I have hurt her and her family. She says that she still loves me and wants to be with me but needs some time. I can understand the needing time to regain the trust but my problem is that she also says that she wants to now go out and see about dating other people to make sure that I am the one that she wants. The mere thought of her with someone else drives me crazy. I want to try to win her heart once more by doing some of the things I did 5 years ago like sending her cards and poems and things like that but I don't want to seem desperate or over bearing. What should I do? Should I just sit back and let her drive or do I go after the women I love? HELP ME YAHOO ANSWER PEOPLE! HELP ME!!!

Answer 1

It is over. You have hurt her enough. Let her go find happiness if you love her.

Answer 2

If you truly cares for her, n not just what you want, then let her be free - means let her know that you love her, but don't chase her.
It sounds as she had spent many years worrying about you n dealing with your problems. So now it's your turn to give her the space n support she needs to find herself n live her life.
Another thing is, if you are grateful for all that she's done for you, then stay clean n take good care of yourself. Build a stable, healthy life on your own - that will much more likely to attract her back then cards - so you can offer her a comfortable life n secure relationship.

Answer 3

Alternatively of talking to the public and expressing the way you think about this man to us you have to specific it to him. Inform him precisely what you might have informed us. Guys are not fairly just right listeners they usually love proof, alas. You can not just inform a man that you simply love him and what you would do for him, you ought to exhibit and prove. To begin with whilst you meet up with him ask for forgiveness in your part in the arguing and fighting, that is to not say that you are at fault but someone has to be the better person and it can be by and large the female that has to be that better individual. 2nd, ask him what about you relocating getting your possess house made him so upset? Provide an explanation for to him that you having your possess space would give the two of you the space you ought to be alone. You also have got to maintain in mind that there might be anything occurring in his lifestyles that he is coping with that you're no longer mindful of considering that he's now not sharing it. It is usually something complicated for him to deal with. I am just a little stressed although, is he in the us or is he still the place ever you are? If he is nonetheless with you, then you may need to plan a romantic date for the two of you at your location probably. If he is now not inclined to come back there up entrance then met him out and then present to have him again to your position for drinks, a film or some thing. Right now you have got to get him alone and talk. Get the whole thing out in the open. You must put your heart on the line at this factor. I wish you success.

Answer 4

Adam, she is doing is letting you down easy. It's an easy way of saying she doesn't want to see you anymore in a romantic way, without actually saying it.

All you can do is be yourself, and if she wants that she'll come back to you. You can't "win her back" because she is not a prize, she is a person, an individual, with feelings, thoughts, and opinions. All of which she'll decide on her own about you.

If the idea of her with someone else drives you crazy than what you are feeling is selfish love, not true love. You are more concerned with yourself than her. True love means that the other person's happiness is more important than your own. If the opposite it true than it is not true love, it's insecurity and jealousy.

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to you own. Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love the greater the jealousy." ~ Robert Heinlein

In Buddhism there is considered four elements of true love:

1. Loving-kindness. Loving-kindness is not only the desire to make someone happy, to bring joy to a beloved person, it is the ability to bring joy and happiness to the person you love, because even if your intention is to love this person, your love might make him or her suffer. To be able to give happiness and joy, you must practice deep looking toward the person you love. Because if you do not understand this person, you cannot love properly.

2. Compassion. This is not only the desire to ease the pain of another person, but the ability to do so. You must practice deep looking in order to gain a good understanding of the nature of the suffering of this person, in order to be able to help him or her to change.

3. Joy If there is no joy in love, it is not true love. If you are suffering all the time, if you cry all the time, and if you make the person you love cry, this is not really love--it is even the opposite. If there is no joy in your love, you can be sure that it is not true love.

4. Freedom. In true love, you attain freedom. When you love, you bring freedom to the person you love. If the opposite is true, it is not true love. You must love in such a way that the person you love feels free, not only outside but also inside. “Dear one, do you have enough space in your heart and all around you?” This is an intelligent question for testing whether your love is something real.

Pay close attention to numbers 1 and 4.

Hope all that makes sense.

Answer 5

You need to focus on your recovery. Your emotional and physical well-being, and sobriety, are more important than this relationship. By focusing on yourself, you will either win her back because you've taken action with your life or, more importantly, put your life back on solid ground.

Respect her wishes and back off. You may have to chalk this up as a lesson learned if the relationship does not renew. She still loves you, but you have to consider her point of view. If I were her, I'd be impressed that you backed off, let me live my life and improved yours in the process. It would tell me that you had a lot of strength and character. It would show me that you were ready for a grown-up commitment and relationship.

Focus on yourself, let everything else follow.

Answer 6

Well, it's not usually possible to win back somebody's respect once it's gone.

That being said, you are in recovery now, so you should be able to feel things for once, and that pain you are feeling is nature's way of making sure you remember this lesson.

Stay clean. Make a better life for yourself, and one day you will probably find and deserve a healthier kind of love.

Answer 7

Let her do what she wants to do. Any interference from your side will not help and will come across as stalking. If she really loves you, she will return. If not, you should live your life too and let her go. The only constructive thing you can do in the meantime is to adress your issue, addiction.

Answer 8

Move on. If she cared about you, she'd be by your side through the hard times. Even if you did screw up. She's probably already been with someone else, and wants to stay with that person. Just stay sober, and move on. You'll meet someone more caring and stronger, through new people you meet in your sobriety quest dude. She's weak and a loser for treating the relationship you had together like that.

Answer 9

Leave this woman alone, you've done enough damage. If she decides to come back to you, she'll do it on her own terms. In the meantime, forget the poems and get on with your life.

Answer 10

give her the space that shes asking for , don't push it but a card or a poem every now and then to let her know that your still there and your still waiting, this just might be her way of seeing if you will relapse, testing your strength

Answer 11

extremely of speaking to the wide-unfold public and expressing the kind you experience approximately this guy to us you will desire to precise it to him. tell him precisely what you have advised us. adult men are not extremely sturdy listeners and that they love evidence, regrettably. you may not basically tell a guy which you like him and what you will do for him, you will desire to teach and coach. at the start once you connect up with him say sorry to your area interior the arguing and battling, it somewhat is to not say which you're at fault yet somebody should be the bigger individual and it somewhat is often the female that should be that extra advantageous individual. 2d, ask him what approximately you moving getting your guy or woman area made him so dissatisfied? clarify to him which you having your guy or woman area could provide the two one in each and every of you the area you may want to be on my own. you apart from would would desire to remember that there perhaps something happening in his existence that he's dealing with which you're actually not conscious of as a results of fact he isn't sharing it. it somewhat is something perplexing for him to handle. i'm a sprint perplexed inspite of the shown fact that, is he in usa or is he nevertheless the place ever you're? If he continues to be with you, then it somewhat is precious to to plot a romantic date for the two one in each and every of you at your place in line with risk. If he isn't keen to return there up front then met him out and then supply to have him lower back on your place for beverages, a action picture or something. ideal now you will desire to get him on my own and communicate. Get each and every thing out interior the open. you will desire to positioned your heart on the line at this factor. I desire you luck.