Why is it the "other woman" is always seen as the home wrecker?

Question

I mean, sometimes, they do not even know there is a wife. And sometimes, they may have been with the man long before he got married. Besides, if they do not have a husband or family, they are not wrecking their home.

Yes, if they find out, it might be best to leave him, but maybe we can agree that sometimes that is easier said than done. Some men show a great deal of committment to the "other woman", and for some women (career-oriented, etc), this works very well.

It seems women are being held to some higher moral standard-should not we all have the same standards?

Isn't the guy the ultimate "home wrecker"?

I am not seeing a married man-sorry! It is JUST a question reaped from reading so many responses to other questions.

I am sorry to those of you who have been through an affair in your marriages.

Answer 1

Its more comfortable to paint the other person as a "Home Wrecker" than to accept that you made a bad choice in picking your spouse. It all goes back to ego. "I am a good person so I make good decisions. I married a good man/woman. Therefore the OTHER person is the bad person." This is very black and white and simplistic and all totally wrong.

Answer 2

Quite honestly the other woman and the cheating husband are home wreckers, but I think this title comes from a place where the other woman knows, eventually, that there is a wife involved in the picture.
If the other woman has no idea that the man she is with is married then no one can hold her responsible, but once she finds out he's married it's a different story. The relationship began on false pretenses.
The majority of "other women" know the man they are seeing is married, so in general, over all, they could be viewed as home wreckers. You're right though, the married man is the ultimate home wrecker because he knows he's married.. and that is where; "All men are dogs." finds it's roots.
;-)

Answer 3

It's a double-standard, like the men are "innocent" in the deal. I do think the woman is responsible (if she knows about the marriage, which she very well may not), but the man is JUST as responsible. After all, it is HIS committment he is breaking. HE is the one who has the responsibility to his partner, not the woman (although she simply has a moral responsibility to not be involved with a married man). It's funny how, when a man cheats, the other woman must have used her cunning, sexual seduction to break the will of the involuntarily adulterous male who is powerless against her unrelenting prowess. However, when a woman cheats, she's just a tramp. It's ridiculous.

Answer 4

Yes the guy is the ultimate home wrecker. My dad cheated on my mum when my brother and I were very little and left my mum for the 'other woman'. I was only 3yrs old when that happened and now I'm 29yrs old. I don't hold any ill feelings as it was so long ago and my brother and I got another Lil' brother from my dads new relationship (Lil bro is now 21) so a positive came from a negative situation. I don't and have never thought of my step-mother as the home wrecker because my dad was the one who was married with responsibilities. I get along with my step-mother very well though. I think this whole experience with my parents has made me wait to get married because I want to be sure I'm with a good man. My parents were very young when they married. My dad 22 and my mum 17! Maybe that had something to do with it. I do agree with you.

Answer 5

Usually, I hear the term "home wrecker" applied to a woman who knew about the wife and stuck arround anyway. When she didn't know about the wife, she's seen as much as a victim as the wife (by everyone except the wife.)

In the case of a woman who was there before the marriage, why would she stick arround after he proposed to another girl? Doesn't that kind of show that he's not serious about her? And the career woman who sticks with a married man because she's not looking for something long term, isn't that still unfair to the wife?

Answer 6

People feel that the woman should have some sort of idea that the man has a family bc he isnt sleeping at her place everynight or spending the holidays etc. with her. Their must be a reason why he cant do these things or why he cant take her out . Its just that everyone feels that woman has theis 6th sense when something just isnt right in a relationship. Even though I feel both the man and woman are equally wrong and the man more so if the woman has no idea what he is up to.

Answer 7

Sometimes women arent told, but it doesn't take a genious to figure it out. From what you are saying you knew or know being that it is "easier for a career oriented person) Seems to me like your trying to make yourself feel better for breaking one of the ten commandments.



Well you're a real hot cookie with a new hairdo
Your high heel boots and your credit card
Long legs and a mini skirt
Yeah you know what works and you work it hard
You smile like such a lady innocent and sweet
You drive the men folk crazy,
But any girl can see
You're just a

[CHORUS]

Homewrecker
I know what you're doin'
You think you're gonna ruin what I got, But you're not
Yeah you little go getter
I'll teach you a lesson
If you get to messin' with my man
You don't stand a chance
No, you're just a homewrecker

I'm sure you waited for a long, long time
To find a man like mine
But honey you're too late
So before you go and make your move
Maybe me and you should get a few things straight
There's two ways we can do this
I'll let you decide
You can take it somewhere else or we can take it outside you little

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Now honey I'm a Christian, But if you keep it up
I'm gonna go to kickin' your pretty little butt
Is that clear enough yeah, you little

[Repeat Chorus]

Gretchen Wilson

Answer 8

If the other woman knows there is a marriage and a family, yes, it is her responsibility to not get involved with the guy. She is PARTIALLY responsible. That being said, the cheating husband holds the brunt of the blame, because he made the decision to hurt his wife (and family).

Think about it though, if you were in this situation, you would want to kill this woman, especially if she knew you existed. Sometimes it may be irrational, but it is a natural human response. We want to make it like this woman seduced our weak husband because it's easier on the heart than believing he cheated of his own free will.

Answer 9

I think that as girls women's,ect. we should watch respect
each others belongings,were smart and sexy in our on way
why take left overs?a mean a relationship are hard now add an ex wife kids extra payments wow!!
a person that sleeps with anybody married is a ***
it does not matter if the guy begs and begs and you say
no way-come back wen you re single hes the *** maybe he will divorce maybe he will say bye bye to you but is not about blaming anybody is about doing whats rigth for you as a women you are worth allot don't lie to you re self wen a women say no that's no other wise is called rape.

Answer 10

Anyone who engages in a romantic relationship with a married person, or who is a married person, is a homewrecker. Marriage is and should be viewed as sacred. Both the straying party and the one who they are straying with are destroying that sacredness. If the outside person does not know, then as soon as they do know they should end the relationship and apologize to the wounded party.