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I don't think many people appreciate how hard it is to watch your husband deal with an ex who he has a daughter with. She's a pathological liar, and she uses his daughter to hurt him. Years ago, she did everything she could to keep him from seeing his daughter, who is 9 now. For about three years things were fine, but now I think she is ready to start back up again. The lying is unbelievable, even in court. She wants him to take parenting classes, which he will. He will do anything she asks. But I can't stand watching it. How do you do nothing while another woman messes with your husband's heart? What can I do to help?

2007-01-02 02:50:19 · 6 answers · asked by Sweet Belly 2 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

6 answers

Oh, wow. This really hits close to home with my brother. He's been divorced for 3 years and has a 7 year old daughter. His exwife tries EVERYTHING to keep him away. He does not want to impose on his ex's life, he just want what's his, his legal right to see his daughter. He wants to love his daughter, spend time with her, have a bond with her. He has court appointed times to see his daughter, to talk to his daughter and his ex will go to great lengths to see that those times aren't met. A year ago, when he had his daughter for the weekend as stated in the court papers, his ex called and said that she suddenly wanted her daughter home. Her excuse was that he had her long enough. When he refused, she called the police and said her daughter was kidnapped. My brother was within his legal rights and had the papers to show the police, but what a hassel for the police and for him! My family has a hard time knowing all this. And I don't think my brother even tells us everything.

The best I can say is to have your husband insist on seeing his daughter. The more he is away from his daughter, the more his ex has all the influence over her. If he's constantly there then his daughter is least likely to become brainwashed by the ex. His daughter is only getting smarter and she's going to start seeing her mother's schemes. A few months ago, my niece said to my brother, "Daddy, why don't you call me more often?" And he said, "Honey, I call you every Tuesday and Thursday night at 7pm, just like I'm suppose to." Her response, "Oh, I guess that's when they tell me it's a telemarketer." I don't know what she told her mom when she got home, but when my brother calls Tues & Thurs and 7pm, they now pick up.

What makes me sick to my stomach is how many dead-beat dads out their who don't pay their child support and could care less about their children. We hear all about those guys! And then there are the good fathers out there, trying to be there for their children. It's so unfair that they get shafted!

2007-01-02 03:37:47 · answer #1 · answered by ☆skyblue 7 · 0 0

I am sorry if your husband is enduring some pointless drama that may be effecting his current relationship with his daughter. Why are they back in court again? How often does he see her? Why does the ex-wife feel that he needs to attend parenting classes? To be honest, the best thing that you can do is to not get yourself involved in this whole fiasco beyond being there no matter what to support and love your husband. Anything more would put you in the predicament where the ex may see you interfering and stepping your boundaries, which unfortunately could fuel the fires and make her act even worse. I would suggest him talking to a professional in this area and see what his rights are and what he can do. If he is willing to go to parenting classes, that is great because it shows not even to the ex but to everyone else (like the courts, etc) that he is a dedicated father and will do anything to keep that role and see his children. Just by asking this question, I can see how much you care and how concerned you are, which means that you are doing your best. I think that so long as your husband remains dedicated and keeps disproving this woman's 'lies' by proving how good of a father he is, she will eventually back off and the best thing you can do for him right now that won't make things more difficult then they already are for him is to just love and support him and show him how much you appreciate his efforts even if the ex or anyone else cannot recognize them. Take care and good luck:)

2007-01-02 03:06:37 · answer #2 · answered by serenity113001 6 · 0 0

You have the power in your hands with prayer and bended knees prayer to stop the madness you just need to keep your cool and not buy into that it sound s like your husband is weak and that you have great concern that he will be trapped with that heartless ex she don't have a life and has never gotten over what ever the y had so you need to seek spritual guidence to help you with your situation it may take some time but it will work out don't talk bad to her or about her just learn to be quite and let him hear every thing from her so that he can began to see how she really is and learn to pray with your husband for your husband good luck,

2007-01-02 03:17:56 · answer #3 · answered by miss out spoken 3 · 0 0

this is a very tough position. if you say nothing then it will seem like you are fine with the current situation, but if you say anything then your husband may get upset but that is your husband you are married and that situation concerns the marriage to a certain extent, but if i was in this situation then i know i would definitely say something it would be too tough not to. speak your heart especially to the ex, maybe it would help, if she gets out of hand or out of pocket, disrespectful, then you should slap her and once that slap hurts she will re evaluate the bullshit she's been putting your husband through. Good luck i will pray for you.

2007-01-02 03:07:59 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

my husbands ex did the same thing, we pay child support for a 16 yr old he has never met. I hate women who use their children as tools.
just be there to support him.

2007-01-02 03:28:11 · answer #5 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0 0

All that you can do is be supportive of him; it is his little red wagon to pull.

2007-01-02 04:46:50 · answer #6 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 0 0

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