Once upon a time,my husband/father of my three children,was with another woman and had a baby by her.WELL,we have recently reunited as husband and wife,and just before we reunited I my self got inpatient and slept with someone else.I usually get my period on the 29th or 30th,it's never late!This other guy came full blast inside me,my husband on the other hand did NOT! If I am pregnate my husband would know that he didn't do it because like I said he DID NOT ejaculate inside me.What the heck should I do?I'm a nervous wreck,should I go through with the abortion considering my circumstances?
2007-01-02 02:49:00 · 28 answers · asked by ~*meli$sa*~ 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Slow down. You need to find out if you are pregant first. Don't put the cart before the horse.
Once you determine that you are pregnant, you need to seriously look at your principles. If you can't uphold your principles at a time like this, you really don't hold that principle. Which is fine, I'm not judging you for that.
It's like saying you are for the environment but then going out and buying a hummer. Actions always speak louder than words and while no one might know it in your situation, you would.
I'm not saying this out of any need to press the pro-life agenda on you: I'm pro-choice. It's not my place to tell you what to do.
2007-01-02 02:55:04 · answer #1 · answered by harrisnish 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband know you might be pregnant? If you havn't talked to him about it yet, try to be paitent and wait until you can find out for sure before putting all this pressure on yourself.
If you do find out your pregnant, does your husband already know you were with someone else while the two of you were apart? Whether or not you're pregnant that may be something that will have to come out eventually if you hope to maintain an open and honest relationship.
As to an abortion, personally I know I could never bring myself to do it. The emtional concequesnes are more than i even care to consider, although I was suffering a bout of post -partum depression when I learned I was pregnant for the third time (six months following the birth of my second child). I did seriously consider not having this baby, but went to my regular checkups anyway. At about my 4th month checkup, while in the waiting room, a lady came in with her new born daughter and suddenly I was overcome with emotion. I began crying and couldn't belive I'd ever considered distroying the little life that was growing inside me. Yeah, the situation wasn't the best, my husband and I were on the verge of permanent seperation, I'd been overwhemled with fatiuge, morning sickness and post-partum PLUS pregnancy hormones, and I had a toddler and baby already at home. But I was so thankful at the point that I hadn't pursued my orginal thought of action. Now i have a beatiful 15 month old baby girl that I'd almost cast off as another burdeon i didn't need.
I fear for you, that you might go through with it and come across that newborn that makes you realize how much you wanted this baby to live. I don't beileve in pressuring my thoughts and ideas on other people, and the choice is yours to make, but you need to spend a lot of time considering the outcome of either.
I realize that you have three children already, and young or older, i'm sure it isn't easy. But, if you can forgive your husband of fathering a child with someone else (i'm assuming this happened while you were together, or possibly after parting?) then he should be able to find it in himself to forgive you for the same. Even if he can't, you'll need to seirously consider if you'd rather keep your husband in your life, or keep the little life possibly growing inside you.
Of course, there's always another option...which is much more evil possibly then either of your other two. You could get him to blow in you and hope he doesn't count the days. But, if it were me, i'd choose honesty and accpet the consequenses. If he loves you and is a good father to your children together, then he can at least help you make your decision and support whatever you choose.
My biggest concern would be that he wants you to abort, but you don't and he either pressures you into something you don't want, or he is violent towards a child he didn't seed but ends up raising. I do hope that everything works out well for you in the end though, even if this doesn't seem like the ideal situation for happy endings.
One more thing. It's your body. Just as wrong at I feel abortion would be for myself, I also think it's wrong to bring an unwanted child into the world. Every baby deserves all love and caring attetion reguardless of why it's here, and if there's no way you can provide that then you should consider other options. IF you can handle another pregnancy, but not another baby to raise, please consider adoption If you're pregnant, it's not likely you'll be able to hide the emotinal and physical effects of an abortion from your husband. Please talk to him before you make any rash decisions.
2007-01-02 03:24:40 · answer #2 · answered by angeltear757 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i'm for it as long as that is finished humanely and intelligently. There are purely some circumstances the place abortion is acceptable for the guy. If i've got been raped (it fairly is the way you're meant to spell it my expensive) or a sufferer of incest there is not any way i might desire to head by using with having the youngster. I"d somewhat die. and for some having a baby might desire to harm their destiny and their destiny youngster's destiny. I extremely have vowed to never have a baby until I extremely have started a respectable sized college fund for the youngster because of the fact i've got self assurance that doing in any different case might make me an not worth mom. and in some circumstances being pregnant and the act of giving delivery might desire to extremely kill the mummy of the two mom and baby. Orphanages are finished adequate of undesirable babies as is. or perhaps with the certainty that there are lots of people who want babies yet cant have them, lots of those couples seek for a baby distant places. i'm besides the undeniable fact that against severe abortions, question marks, ignorant people, and spelling blunders. Oh and bringing God into the equation. This has not something to do with him and that i'm rather specific he might dislike being dragged into the brawl. *and for the affection of all it fairly is Holy that is spelled RAPED! not RAPPED!!!!!!!! I pray to god that i never prefer to work out it lower back.
2016-12-15 13:40:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this story line has played out many a time on various soap operas.
The thing is, if you are against abortion, then plain and simple, you don't do it. You own up to what you did, and let the consequences be what they may. If you are so against abortion, this thought would never have crossed your mind. Unless, of course, you are prolife only when it is convenient for you.
But too...your husband already did the same thing, so you can just tell him that karma's a *****...what goes around comes around.
2007-01-02 02:58:12 · answer #4 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Only you can make this decision, but personally I would say no...you should keep it. To me, abortion is not something you do out of convenience for your self. If you were raped or your life was at risk that would be different, but you CHOSE to have sex with that other man, unprotected I might add, knowing what the consequences could be. I would suggest talking to your husband and tell him that you are pregnant and you know it isn't his, but you would be willing to give it up for adoption (which I am assuming you would be if you are considering aborting it anyway) If he chooses not to stay with because of that, so be it.
2007-01-02 03:51:25 · answer #5 · answered by Mommy of 2 Boys 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, the pull and pray method doesn't really work. You could still be pregnant by your husband. Second, if you really are against abortion you wouldn't have posted this question. If you do have an abortion you will have to deal with that the rest of your life. If you don't, what's the worse that could happen? Your husband might leave you for cheating, but he cheated too, so he can't really hold that against you. Besides, if you're willing to forgive him, he should be willing to forgive you.
2007-01-02 02:59:45 · answer #6 · answered by FlyChicc420 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am not against abortion. Although, I am against the misuse of abortion.
If you feel that your husband would disown or hate this child because it could possibly not be his; than having an abortion could save you a lot of heart ache and sorrow. Now if you feel guilty at all for getting an abortion I would not do it. It could cause you to sink into a deep depression that could last your whole life. If without a doubt you feel it would be much worse to keep this baby than have an abortion. I know many people will not like my answer, but why bring a child into this world if it's going to unloved, or live a life of pain and suffering.
2007-01-02 03:23:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
What did this poor child do? Instead of abortion why not ADOPTION? YOU knew you are a married woman and you obviously know what causes pregnancy. YOU could of used protection!! YOU need to come clean with both men. Maybe the babies daddy whats the child you are willing to throw out because you want your husband. There are times when you choose a child over a man and this SHOULD be ONE of them!
2007-01-02 02:54:44 · answer #8 · answered by novembersnow78 2 · 4⤊ 1⤋
It wasn't the babies fault. If you were not able to carry a baby for health reasons, maybe. But abortion is not birth control. Talk to your husband and he might understand. But I don't believe its OK to kill a baby because it was an oops baby.
2007-01-02 03:49:59 · answer #9 · answered by kristin h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not the baby's fault you found yourself "impatient". Face the consequences. Sounds like you both have some issues and really dont need a relationship with each other...or someone else. I would say grow up a little before commiting to someone else. And if not for a relationship you need to at least grow up for this baby's sake.
2007-01-02 02:54:13 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋