The man that you married 20 yrs ago does not attend church and is not a good example morally as he has other women. This is a STD disease risk. When he wants sex, he wants it but is not concerned about the sexual needs of his partner.Three times a year is good for him. After the activity he turns his back or sleeps on the couch.When he is approached about the situation, he uses obscenities. There is no reasoning; he wants to live his life today and not worry about tomorrow or consequences. Three children under 20 are involved.The church says God hates divorce; but after 20 years of praying and putting up with the same foolishness, what is there left to do?He hangs on because he does not want another man to have his attractive,well-dressed,personable wife.He cannot stand the thought of some other man rearing his well-mannered,intelligent children.What does one do in such a situation?
2007-01-02 02:24:47 · 20 answers · asked by Aoiffe337 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I wouldn't divorce him, but get seperation and custody of the children with limited visitation. He probably doesn't know how it affects you and the kids. He might need to hit rock bottom before he can turn his life around.
P.S.- All seperation does is puts you in different livings, but you're still married, so it's not a divorce yet. But, if it continues, divorce him. About God hating divorce, he probably isn't too happy about the way your husband treats you, either.
2007-01-02 02:34:00 · answer #1 · answered by TheSeventhX 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have grown up all my life thinking I am hated by God. I cannot think of any logical reason why I am hated, since he came to forgive me of my sins and restore me. However i have had circumstances like parental rejection when i was 12. Im 42 now and still struggle to accept myself. From that foundation of rejection has come a devastated self worth. And from experience what comes out of a lack of self worth is actions and choices that are "same-kind" with someone that has a lacl of self worth. People that feel they are in the gutter will do gutter things, and when they do them they feel even worse. Its a vicious destructive circle. But God came to forgive, to set us free of the SIN AND GUILT that so easily traps us and condemns us. You (WE) must start believing God when he said he forgives and believe him when he says he loves YOU PERSONALLY. Then and only then can we have the strength we need to overcome destructive self defeating patterns. Jesus when he forgave the woman in adultery said something BEFORE saying Go Sin No More. He told the woman, Neither do i condemn you (forgiveness) NOW (next) Go and Sin no more. Who are we or anyone that condemns us to think we can break an addiction to please God if we havent FIRST let his Love and Forgiveness soak us from head to toe.
2016-03-29 04:27:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I doubt that god gives a white rat's whisker about marriage, or divorced, both human institutions, not godly ones..... this guy is a jerk if he does and is what has been written here. If the lady wishes to continue to sacrifice her life and remain miserable, her choice.
But most of us believe life ought to be fun, and marriage is respect admiration, passion and trust, with lots of lovies, time together, lovely walks, shared interests, and hobbies, creating a loving environment in which to raise children, and ability to be a partner, not a servant as well as solving differences without rage. The man you describe here is a control freak, sexually incapable of anything except one ejaculation, and really has no idea how to be a loving partner....... doubtful of his own masculinity, and certainly not a caring sensual partner. She wants to say with this guy why? What is she getting out of this???? What IS she thinking???? I'd say after 20 years of praying and no answer, she ought to take a hint: she has a brain, use it, and seek professional help...
In her place, I'd get my brain unwashed in counseling, get my head on straight..Think I'd tell this control freak that "we either get into counseling, or I;m outa here" and then I'd get out and find a guy interested in a marriage, love, companionship and affection..... and there are tons of them out there, too, who all they want to do is be a kind, loving husband and partner....
2007-01-02 03:20:13 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, i just asked a simular question and got a lot of great answers.
i was a member of a church for 5 yrs and yes, the Bible does say God hates divorce. but if you read close enough, adultry is the only 'forgivable divorce'(for lack of a better term). so guess what, youre in the clear as far as God is concerned. get out now! you should have left years ago.
Malachi 2:16 For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away (divorce) for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Matthew 5:31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement.
2007-01-02 02:35:19 · answer #4 · answered by DEVIL IN A BLUE DRESS 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I Don't believe in god so can't help you there. Buy I feel if you are so unhappy to get out. By the way that is abuse. What does the bible say about that in a marriage? I would dump his *** and teach my kids that is NOT ok to treat your life partener that way. Stand up for yourself you have EVERY right to, maybe you will gain back some self esteem.
2007-01-02 02:38:29 · answer #5 · answered by openminded 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the Bible says that a man has the right to divorce his wife if he is not faithfull. so i think it would be ok tofor you to divorce him for the same reason. dont let him do this to you. deny him the sex he acualy comes to you for, that way you dont catch anything that his bimbos may have. then give him an ultimatim. tell him to leave his bimbos or get the hell out of your house. tell him he cant have both.as long as you stay with him your kids are going to think that it is ok to marry and cheat. i hope this helps.
2007-01-02 02:48:24 · answer #6 · answered by Thumbs down me now 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man who cheats certainly isn't considering "the sanctity of the family". I really don't think that God intended you to live in misery with all that is written. You need to be true to yourself, and teach your children that they have more to look forward to than a loveless marriage like their parents have. God will love, forgive, and support you. You know that in your heart. Do you think that God wants you to surrender yourself and your life and be condemned with unhappiness? No - he gave you this life to live to its fullest potential. You aren't doing that right now.
2007-01-02 02:54:07 · answer #7 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The church has counseling, try to see if you can do anything through the church. The kids are grown up, they are starting their own lives. Just worry about yourself and the kids will support you. You do need help, seek the church. Good Luck.
2007-01-02 02:44:34 · answer #8 · answered by bluemist 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adultery is a scriptural reason for divorce, if he is adulterous the marriage vows are broken. God would not hate a person for divorcing someone on the grounds of adultery, it's his rules in the bible!!
2007-01-02 02:50:55 · answer #9 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good for you for trying to stick it out! Its nice to know there are still people in this world that take marriage seriously! Too bad your husband isnt one of them :( . If your husband has committed adultry I think you need to get that divorce. If he refuses to try to make he marriage work...Im sure God is unhappy about the marriage as is with him treting it that way. God wants you to be happy and in a healthy marriage!
2007-01-02 02:43:58 · answer #10 · answered by Aubrey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋