Can you say "NO" without feeling guilty, selfish and like you should make up an excuse or justify it?

Question

Because I can't... what's wrong with me?

Answer 1

You have a messed up conscious. (super-ego)
You are afraid you won't be liked.
You can't stand up for yourself when someone puts you down.
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You might start off by saying, "Wait, I want to think about it"
If a person can't accept that then they are toxic. Get the heck away from them. They have insulted you. Tell them they have insulted you. Don't argue with them.

Answer 2

There is nothing wrong with you. I was like this before I realised everyone takes advantage of me and most of the time they dont even care or appreciate it, they just want thier thing to be done.

So look in the mirror and accept u are a person worthy of self respect and understand that it';s perfectly fine to say No on occasions when need be. You ain't no one's slave and u have the right to say No. Hear me........ it is NOT selfish!

At first people will notice and might bat an eyelid or give a funny look but thats not a judgement on you. Its thier problem, they shouldnt take the mick by using you all the time. You are worth much more than that.

And then hunni u will find out who your real friends are.... and all those that stop talking to you are nothing but users (who u can now gladly cross off ur 'friends' list)

HtH...

Answer 3

Nothing is wrong with you. Most of the time I feel weird saying no but then after you think about you feel good. It depends on what to say no to. If something that you don't want to do or is making you uncomfortable always say no. You can end up in a situation way worst than you could have said a simple no. If Some one for example asks you to do something and you don't want to just simply say no, I'm sorry. End of conversation. Won't sound harsh and you get it your way

Answer 4

A lot of US have that issue, sometimes it's called "people pleasing" we are wanting people to like us, but by saying yes all the time we are cheating ourselves from receiving the respect AND the SELF respect that those people who can say NO get as well. There are many of us people who find it difficult to say NO when asked to do something. Somewhere along the line..we have become conditioned to do what others ask for any number of reasons. Check t out this site, and there are good self help books on this same thing, its important to be assertive in the word today NOT mean or anything but assertive and able to guide our OWN course good luck you wil be ok
http://www.crystalinks.com/assertiveness.html

and this is a good one too :http://www.onlineorganizing.com/ExpertAdviceToolboxTips.asp?tipsheet=16

Answer 5

No I can't. lol.. ;-)

And there's nothing wrong with you it just you might not want to or you thinks it nothing worth doing or you think that the person whos asking is being too lazy or using you.

YOU got to remember you are a human being and not a machine and YOU do have your own life to live.

Asks yourself this question how do you feel when you ask someone for help? Do you really need it or are you bored?MMMmmm...

Answer 6

Yes i can say NO easily and often. I used to be like you and worry about others and all but age and experience changes that. Practice and youll get it. Once you realize it isnt always selfish to put yourself first youll be ok with it. Say it when you mean it and youll get confidence with the concept.

Answer 7

Depends on the question or what people are asking you to do. If they are asking you to do something wrong like rob a bank or your spouse asking for sex. The question should determine whether you say yes or no. Hope you say NO sometimes.

Answer 8

I can and some would say your too nice. Most people who can't say 'no' are nuts! Try saying to everything, maybe that'll help. NOTE: 'NO' sounds and means the same thing in most languages, so if you need to know a different language for something, learn how to say 'no'.

Answer 9

It really would be easier on everyone if you would just say "Sorry, I can't." Then they will understand that it's "no", they will go away and you'll be done with it a LOT quicker than if you stand there trying to explain.

Answer 10

Yes, you can. Just be diplomatic in saying it. Let say someone in inviting you to go out and it happen that your not in the condition to go. Just say, I would love too, unfortunately I just say yes to someone else (just don't mention any name.).Can i take a rain check. That's simple. I learned the hard and it works.