Anyone putting up with a cheater , Have them "Ring in the New Year" with somone else???

Question

I have been married to my wife now almost 18 years. My wife has been cheating on me now for about 7 months. She has been caught by me on more than one occasion and sometimes with two guys at once. It was obvious that part of her kink was having me catch her in the act. Yes we had problems in the marriage. I assumed this is a midlife crisis and have tried to tolerate things while she works out her issues. She has tried and now also enjoys "playing for the other team". She goes out to a lesbian bar now at least once a week on Saturday showing back up about noon the next day.
I put up with her behavior for a couple of reasons. One, I still love her. Two, we have a severely mentally disabled child she watches while I work. Three, we get no money from the state for our son and I cannot afford to pay the expensive fees of a special caregiver.

This New Years eve she went out and F'd somone else. Anyone else have a spouse do this to them???

Answer 1

It might be best to ask your wife why she is doing this, and what her expectations are from you. Often times, a woman will act without understanding why. If she has to tell you why, it will force her to think about it and be honest with herself. Perhaps she is depressed, or the stress of taking care of a disabled child is too much for her. Her cheating may be a symptom of something else. It might be that she is doing all this to force you to divorce her, so she will not feel guilty about abandoning her sick child.
Make no mistake, you are a saint for trying to work this out. But you need to get her to professional help.
Good Luck.

Answer 2

You have probably outdone most us. I have something similar though when you don't know WTF they are doing because of their past history. I think I agree with the people that say you can never regain trust after someone has cheated. I feel for you though. I am really surprised the State does not cover the expenses of your child though. I have worked for the Government for about 9 years and if I were you I would contact your local officials like your City Council members that represent your area and by your zip code whoever represents you and ask them to help you out in finding out if there is any funding out there. What your wife is doing is unfair especially if she is taking advantage of the fact that you are STUCK! Shame on her. Good Luck and Please for your own selfworth try and find a way out. '-)

Answer 3

Your wife is mentally disabled. This is not normal behavior for any person. She is screaming for help and on a total destruction course.

You three need the Lord more than anyone that I have seen in a long time.

Answer 4

Yes - but only once. I divorced him soon afterwards. You owe it to yourself both mentally and physically to get out of this relationship. What good will you be to your son is you contract AIDS due to your wife's indiscretions? It doesn't sound like she is into being sexually responsible - so I wouldn't imagine she is using protection. There are resources available to help with your son. Get in touch with your local social services agencies, the counselor at your son's school, etc. to find out what is available. You DO not have to put up with this!

Answer 5

"My wife has been cheating on me now for about 7 months"

1) Thats where you messed up...your allowing her to do this to you...
2)Once you found out about it, you should of put your foot down...
3) Your trying to tolerate things while she works out her issues

Think about yourself and the kids...do what you think is best for them as well as yourself...You sound like a really nice guy..Of course most women like a nice guy but when you allow her to do whatever or whomever she wants she is going to do it...Believe me,once in awhile we like our man to be dominate to us.
Take a night out for yourselves and put your foot in the door,let her know how you feel...Maybe it is something you two can work together through..Try changing things up a bit in the bedroom,go to an adult store and buy her some toys...show her and let her know that you can make her feel just as good as these other people do to her...Bring back that flame that onced burn,if that does't work...kick her out that door...
Remember to keep your head up and put that foot down!
Good Luck!!!!

Answer 6

Hell no, if they did,i'd be gone i don't care what the circumstances are because i know i can do better,i would find the ways and means to get help for my child.You should go to to the social security office to try and get SSI for your child i am sure you can qualify for that under these circumstances,some states provide day care for mentally handicapped children,Kick Her A** to the curb,she sounds like she is putting herself first and to hell with everything else,Get a Divorce and fight for custody.

Answer 7

that is absolutely crazy i mean what man that has self pride would basically give his wife permission to cheat because that is what you are doing really i mean you might as well give her a pass to cheat. i think that you are a very respectable man but she cant love and cheat on you. you should be the only man that she is pleasing. and the fact that she is sleeping with women is damn crazy. i think that you should take your son find a woman that loves just you and live happily ever after with your son.

Answer 8

i do want i might desire to be somebody el's!!! i'm 13 and my existence is loopy. i'm the youngest out of five little ones. my mom and dad are devorst. and that i've got not got countless real friends. and four of my ultimate friends moved away. Oh, and that i stay in 2 cities with my mom and a million with my dad . I want i might desire to be somebody El's now and lower back!!!

Answer 9

Please do not stay in a marriage for a child! I know that there are more things to think about as far as help and such, but there must be other ways! Why suffer for someone who doesn't care about you?

Answer 10

Divorce her, she doesn't deserve you.