Women don't seem to like me at work.?

Question

It seems every office I have worked in I have had trouble with the women there. I'm married and my husband does pretty well so they comment about my clothes, my car, my handbags, and they make comments about me not having to work. Frankly I'm sick of it as I work to pay for the things I have and my large student loan. I eventually end up leaving most jobs because of the cattyness.

I don't think a coach bag or ann taylor is showing off..

Answer 1

Stop showing off your goods. They're jealous.... but remember, you can't be friends with them if you know they're going to be glaring enviously as the designer bag you have. Tone yourself down a bit and don't talk about yourself or your home or your trips to Sweden or whatever... talk about them.
(It sounds stupid, but putting on a "I care about you" act when around people of that low level really helps.)

Answer 2

You cannot continue to run from job to job. Understand people will have opinions about everything. If you'd listen they probably has something to say about everything , thats just the way most people are. There are all types of characters, personalities in the work place. Sometimes we must look at our self, am I a bragger, show off, etc. Are you a sensitive person, all these things has a part. You state that every office you have worked there is trouble with the women there. You didn't say you were having trouble with all the women. Remember you can't keep running sooner or later you will have to evaluate.

Answer 3

I worked at place where most of the ladies wore jeans and pullover tops. Then I went to work I wore slacks and a matching jacket. One day someone made the comment that I was not one of them. My comment was that they were right, I am dressing as our boss is because one day I hope that I have her job.

Some big mouth went and told the boss what I had said. She called me in and said keep up the good work, maybe someday they will catch on as to what it takes to become a leader.

When I got promoted to her assistant, she said that she would only want a person that was a reflection of herself.

If you really like your current job, have a friend to send you an email stating that you are past due with your student loan. Accidential leave a copy of the email on the copy machine, and that will close them up.

You know the saying, don't get mad just get even!

Answer 4

Sounds to me like envy, but there are two sides to every story.

You might be sick of leaving jobs, but it can't be the folks at EVERY job that are the problem. You might need to look in the mirror, or maybe just the closet.

Now if you are making $40K a year, you can't go to work with 65k a year clothes, hand bags and car. You're opening yourself up for critizism. It would be like a garbage man showing up to work daily in a freshly pressed and cleaned 3-piece suit with a Rolex watch and Feragamo shoes.

What you need to do in the future is work on having a WORK wardrobe and a PERSONAL/SOCIAL wardrobe. You might even consider downsizing form an ultra luxury car to a mid to entry level luxury vehicle.

Changing jobs due to what other people think probably isn't the root of your problems. And you'll get critizism if you are working and your clothes, car, accessories, etc., clearly show that you can be very well taken care of. IMO the thing to do is to look the pat at work instead of not looking the part or to find a job where your clothes and car are appropriate.

Answer 5

If you are a Christian - or interested :) - I would really recommend a book that addresses this very issue: Ten Commandments of Working in a Hostile Environment by TD Jakes. It is available on Amazon.com, as well as other web-sites. DVD and CD versions are also available on Rev. Jakes' web-site.

So as not to get "bashed" - let me state that the reason I predicate my answer with "If you are a Christian" is because Jakes' solution is found on reliance in Christ and the Christian world view. For a non-Christian, the book probably wouldn't make much sense (Jakes freely admits this in the audio and video versions.)

Let me also say that I DON'T work in a hostile environment. I work in a GREAT environment. However, I have found much useful information in this material.

Also: the book is NOT a call to poverty. It DOESN'T say "sell your Coach bag and give the money to the poor" or anything like that.

Try it. Couldn't hurt.

Hope this helps.

Answer 6

It takes two for a cat-fight. The first question you should ask yourself is How am I contributing to the problem? If you are ending up leaving most jobs because of the same problem then it could be something about you that you might want to change. Take a closer look at yourself. Working with a majority of woman you will find they can end up being your worst nightmare or your greatest allies...it just depends on you. Good Luck.

Answer 7

Divide and conquer. First figure out the network of groups. Look for a middle of the road person in each group, not the weakest or strongest member. Invite them out to lunch or shopping. Show no weakness, project strength. Get the groups to turn on each other, play one group against the other. Spread positive rumors, avoid negative rumors. Just saying something nice to your contact about the strongest person in that group and it will get back to that person. It is surprising how a positive rumor will effect an insecure person.

Everyone wants security. It is the reason why women form small political groups. Inject insecurity back into these groups and provide security to the various contacts.

These people are children, treat them as children. You are not trying to be anyone's friend, this is political. Friendship is possible, but your objective is to distract these petty women.

In time your contacts in each group will come back to talk to you, just listen. Women love to talk and be listen to. It provides security.

Answer 8

are you sure you're not using the "cattyness" as an excuse to quit your jobs because you don't really have to work? no body likes being mistreating at work but not everyone has the option to just quit when they feel they've had enough. be grateful you can.

Answer 9

Sorry, but realistically, it can't be just petty jealousy. It's happening at EVERY office you've worked in. Doesn't that tell you something? They can't ALL be wrong can they? Maybe it's time to take a long, hard look at what you might be doing to contribute to the bad feelings. After all, none of us are perfect.

Answer 10

that sounds exactly like a woman I work with.. she married a rich man recently and since then she's been driving really nice cars to work.. one day she came in a Hummer, the next day she came in a BMW.. she told me that one lady went up to her and said "why are you working?" and she replied "because I love my job!".. I think that was a good reply.. personally if I had a lot of money, I wouldn't be working anymore, but that's me.. those women are obviously jealous of you and would like to be stay-home wives/moms.. my wife really wants to be a stay-home mom, but right now we can't afford it.. next year I should be getting a decent raise, so hopefully we can make it happen then.. but nothing is certain..

Answer 11

I understand! I hate women like that. Instead of looking at your personality they judge you by the way you look. Just because you take time to look nice and have a sence of style, they shouldn't be like that. So you drive a nice car and you look flashy. It's okay, they need to get to know you. But don't let it bug you too much. Show them you have a personality too.