I am not trying to be jealous but my husband and I are not communicating. I am a stay home mom and he prefers calling his mom during the day from work then calling me. He prefers telling his mom after work about his day then me. She has just replaced me. How do I get the excitement back and the communication between us back? And not be so jealous.
2007-01-02 01:24:03 · 28 answers · asked by Sweetie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Call him at work, ask how his day was. Keep him busy and talking so he doesn't have time to call his mom. And more than anything let him know that you WANT to know whats going on, he might think he is saving you stress by talking to his mother, let him know that you are there to listen.
2007-01-02 01:29:35 · answer #1 · answered by Dizzy 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Wow...I'm sorry!!! First off...I use to be a stay home mom. It's incredibly hard!! Your life is your children. Do you have friends? My feelings is that your husband is one of your main source of adult conversation. If this is the case....I would recommend getting a part time job...so that you can get your life back. Be your own person again. This will make you feel more important. When you stay home with the kiddos all day...you kind of lose your own individuality. You become absorbed with the kids. You're feeling jealous of your husband's Mom...because you want your husband to think of you as the most important woman in your life...because that's how you feel for him! He doesn't have to fight for your feelings. He has them automatically...as this is your job 24/7. If you got a pt job...he would feel the pinch. But I feel that it would make your marriage happier. You'll gain more respect for yourself...and so will your hubby.
2007-01-02 01:31:53 · answer #2 · answered by Traci D 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
As a stay at home mom, your world is overwhelmed with your children's needs. You may be physically exhausted and emotionally depleted. It is difficult to add your husbands's needs to the list (emotional and sexual). As you grow, you understand the difference between the important and the urgent. Your husband needs to know that you care about his day, his thoughts, his responsibilities. Asking and listening is enough. His mother is fulfilling an important need that is really your responsibility. Do not let urgent 'Mommy" cries interrupt the important. The children will grow to respect your union and trust it...much more important than answering the urgent cry for icecream. Give your husband what he needs. He will then seek your company, your thoughts and fulfillment of your needs as his #1 source of satisfaction. And THAT leads to lots and lots of excitement.
2007-01-02 01:49:07 · answer #3 · answered by Bizzy 1 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I used to be in the same boat. I'll be honest, this is probably not the advice you WANT to hear, because it's frustrating, but it really helped me. My husband used to have some serious emotional problems from some traumatic experiences. Even when he was up at 3 a.m. not able to sleep because of them, he would ASK ME TO CALL HIS MOM AND HAVE HER COME OVER!!!!!!! I just wouldn't bring it up to him that you are jealous of it. Just let him do it. By telling him it bothers you (if you have) he'll interpret this as you not really caring about his feelings (even though that isn't the case. What you're really thinking is "don't you see how much I love you and I AM here for you and you CAN confide in me?!?!?!?!?!?). He'll say to himself "she's only thinking about herself instead of my needs", making it MORE LIKELY he'll keep going to his mom who never mentions her needs when he has a problem (and of course she doesn't, she's getting what she wants, her baby still running to her to kiss his boo-boo). Please understand that I know how hurtful it is when he does this. I felt like a complete outsider. I thought, "why don't I just go to bed and let her stay up with him if that's who he wants?" However, that would have shown him that I was more concerned about sleep than him. So, I stayed up, but I stook RIGHT next to his mom, so he could see me there and realize that I was there for him. Now, he comes to me. Trust me, his mom hates it, but that's what a marriage should be. Good luck.
2007-01-02 01:55:15 · answer #4 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Well, if your kids are old enough, you should go back to work. He's a mama's boy, he's taking you for granted. Go back out to work let him see what it feels like to come home after work and know he won't see you. OR, you can talk to him pour your heart if he continues well I'll say there no reason staying in a relationship if both parties ain't happy. You could also separate for a while to show him if you were really gone what would happen.
2007-01-02 01:36:09 · answer #5 · answered by Bunny 2 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Your husband is a weirdo. What husband calls his mother more than his wife? I would be jealous if I'm in your position. He's got his priorities all wrong. Does he know what vow he made at your wedding? To cling to your forsaking all others. He seems to be more married to his mom than to you.
2007-01-02 03:07:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like a Mama Boy.
Tell him how you feel. That you not jealous BUT that you want to be sharing his life with him. And if feels like his more interested in telling his Mom everything than he is about you. Thats its hurting you and you would like him to come to you. Thats part of marriage.
If his Mom and you get along really well. You could even try talking to her about it. Maybe she could mention it.
2007-01-02 02:17:33 · answer #7 · answered by BadGirl 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
tell him that he needs to give you more attention and his mom a little less attention if he wants this marriage to work and if he refuses to work on the marriage then you move out or make him move out. ( you share the kids 50 50 either way for that is the healthiest for the kids)
2007-01-02 01:37:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
his mom has always come first, before u. he is a mama's boy, maybe counseling would help u. a bond between mother and son is hard to deal with, when u feel mom comes first. he obviously has alot to say to her, he may well be talking to her about u, he may be angry about something and there is some sort of resentment going on. u weren't replaced, this is the way it has always been, and may always be, been there done that, it does get old, and u will feel resentment over it.
2007-01-02 01:32:58 · answer #9 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I was able to fix this with my husband by becoming close to his mom. Call her yourself for talks. Get together with her and the kids during the day. I had times, at first, when I'd hear his big new from her. After while, she was busy with me and he was on her back burner. :)
2007-01-02 01:35:45 · answer #10 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 3⤋