what to do when people....?

Question

keep fixating on my disability without giving a thought that they hurt my feeling?
i dont mean physical disability, but things that i dont have the means to overcome...like my height, or my quietness
that is how i am and i am fine with it, but why do people like to fixate on it, especially my family

Answer 1

Let them fixate on it. It only says something about them, not you. I know its probably a big pain and really frustrating. But the best thing you can do i think is just to rise above i. Not to drag yourself down to there level. If you are fine with who you are, that is something wonderful that you have achieved most people cant do that in there lives and have all sorts of problems because of it. Just ignore there comments and just ask them calmly is this not getting a bit old now? is there never going to be an end to it? And if they cant give you good answers to these two questions, just let them live with there ignorance and leave it behind. Forgive them and let it go. Even if they continue you know that you are not there victim you are the strong mature one. Good luck to you. I hope you get some good advice from people and that you have a wonderful 2007! You deserve it!

Answer 2

that is very sad to know especially having it coming from ur own family. ppl shud learn to respect and understand other ppl disabilities and feelings and shud know that this hurts ur feelings and will affect ur future life badly. I think u shud talk to them and ask them to guide u instead of making fun of u.

Answer 3

Swami Sukhabodhananda
RSS Feeds| SMS ASTRO to 8888 for latest updates


One youngster comes to me very depressed and asks this question "Why is God creating so many difficulties for us? How to handle stress?" I tell this youngster to reflect on this beautiful story:

A man goes to a shop, picks up a beautiful cup and says "my god this cup is so beautiful" and suddenly the cup starts talking to the man. The cup starts saying "O man, I am beautiful right now, but what was the state of my being before the pot-maker made me a beautiful pot?

Before I was sheer mud and the pot-maker pulled me out of the mud from the mother earth and I felt why that pot-maker is so cruel, he has separated me from mother earth. I felt a tremendous pain. And the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me and churned me, when I was churned I felt so giddy, so painful, so stressful, I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then he put me into a oven and heated me up, I felt completely burnt. There was tremendous pain and I asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait."

Then he poured hot paint on me and I felt the fume and the pain, I again asked the pot-maker "Why are you so cruel?" and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." Then again he put me into an oven and heated it to make me more strong, I felt life is so painful hence pleaded the pot-maker and the pot-maker said, "Just wait." And after that the pot-maker took me to the mirror and said, "Now look at yourself". And surprisingly I found myself so beautiful.

When god gives us lot of trouble, it appears god is very cruel but we need patience and we have to wait. When bad things happen to good people, they become better and not bitter.

So all difficulties are part of a cosmic design to make us really beautiful. We need patience, we need understanding, we need the commitment to go through in a very calm and wise way. So all difficulties are not to tumble us but to humble us.

With this understanding, let us not be against difficulty. Understand difficulty is a part of a purifying process. A purifying process at present which we cannot understand and hence we need faith and we need trust.

Let us understand how to handle stress with this background. You can be affected by stress from two angles. There is an internal stress and there is an external stress. Nobody can avoid stress; one has to only manage stress. Managing stress can be internal and also external.

The internal stress is; your thoughts can create stress, your values can create stress, and your beliefs can create stress, meaning thereby your stress is coming from your mind more from the outer world. Many people suffer not from heart attack - they suffer from thought-attack.

For example, when somebody says you are an idiot, we get so hurt, we get so victimised. My boss has called me an idiot and I am feeling tremendous pain. Now where does this stress come from? If my boss has called me an idiot, I have to ask myself "am I an idiot"?

If I am an idiot nothing to be upset about; and if I am not an idiot, then also nothing to be upset about! It is the perception of the boss. But why do we suffer from that stress? I suffer not because my boss has called me an idiot but because of the thought-attack.

I may say the boss has called me an idiot; therefore I am suffering? It is true that the words are unpleasant. But what hurts is the interpretation of the unpleasant word. The thought in me interprets. That is pain and therefore it becomes pain. Much of our stress is our mind interpreting it as pain. So we suffer from thought-attack more than heart attack.

Answer 4

People love to comment negatively. forgetting their own bad qualities... and trust me non of what you said is a bad quality..you know quietness is a sign of smartness..your the kind of person who listens to wut ppl say observe and understand others moves and thoughts..and that is a great way to learn and understand what is around you...just stay the way u are! Show them your proud of who u are. have a stong personality and stand up to urself. good luck :P hehe

Answer 5

Be detached with such remarks or let them know (especially your family) how you feel about it.