he wants me to be his fling for the rest of our lifes but you see i found someone else who will love me i love them both but the other man has no wife but i love the fling so much so what should i do my heart is broken and i can,t eat sleep all i do is think about these men help me choose thank you
2007-01-02 01:21:23 · 37 answers · asked by dar 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
the other guy is great but he just doesn.t want to be all that he can be the married guy his wife cheats on him with my dad plus i was with married man beofre she can along we have 3 children togher and other guy makesme happy to so please help me out of this my children love the other man so do i but he is just to much pain there
2007-01-02 01:30:40 · update #1
You shouldn't see a married man, b/c you're selling yourself short. Don't you feel you deserve better than that. He's a liar and a cheater. You are nothing more to him than a plaything. He will Never be true to you or anyone else. I won't leave his wife and if he does he will treat you the same way he treats her. Is that what you want? So I think your choice it rather simple choose the one who can love you honestly, the one who can be with you on holidays, one who can be with you at funerals and weddings and all of your family functions as well as his. Choose the one that you can create a family with if you choose to, not the one you have to sneak around with and hide with. If you have doubts about either than choose neither you don't have to be with anyone at this time. But whatever you do, if you must be with someone, choose someone who enriches your life, not someone who takes away from your life. Happy New Year.
The man who is worth your tears won't make you cry. If he causes you pain than he doesn't love you, he loves to hurt you. And you have children, you are setting the example for your children. If your children see you in dysfunctional relationships they will think that's what relationships are SUPPOSED to be. Is that what you want for your children? Set good examples? It's always better to be alone and be happy than to be with someone and be sad. I promise you won't die if you're alone. Don't put your children through anymore of this, they deserve stronger and more secure role models.
2007-01-02 03:35:05 · answer #1 · answered by 2D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would agree that you tell the one with the wife what your dilema is and if he loves you enough he will get a divorce and be with you, if not then the unmarried one would be my choice. I kinda understand because I'm with a recently divorced man who was married for 38 years and we've been together for 2 years prior to the divorce and I love him very much but now that I know him better and his work hours are so different than mine that NOW I'm worried I'll get lonely when we're NOT together which is about 4 nights a week. I do love him but there are many guys who work same work schedule as me and its just hard at times living what I feel alone most nights. I know I sound selfish but now I understand what his ex-wife went through. Choose the un-married one????
2007-01-02 01:45:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should defiantely leave the married man along. he doesn't love you that's why he used the word fling. I think that you hoping that he will leave his wife one day. which he's not going to do any time too soon; again the word fling come's to mind. Get with the one that doesn't have any attachments.And another thing I don't see how you sleep anyways knowing that you are with a guy that's not your's and will never be yours.
2007-01-02 02:36:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you got yourself in a mess. The answer is obvious, 1st, stop seeing a married man (actually little boy, real men don't cheat), 2cd, you need to have more respect for yourself. Do you really want to be known as a mistress? 3rd, if you truly love the other guy, be with him only, if you cannot do that, at least have the decency to break up with him so he can find a decent woman.
A lot of girls think that it is alright to see a married man, they don't have to worry about bringing them home, but in reality, all they are doing is helping to destroy another family. (And with divorce at a all time high rate, we need to focus on families, not single parents)
2007-01-02 01:33:16 · answer #4 · answered by Common Sense 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
choose the man who isn't married, the one your children like. the other man is still married and do u really want to be part of all that drama in your life? if u choose the one that is married, he may reconcile with the wife, and than where does that leave u? it is never a good idea to be in love with a man who cheats, as if they will cheat on their wife they will also one day cheat on u, pick the one who has the less baggage to deal with. pick the one who will be completely devoted to u, not the one who has someone else.
2007-01-02 01:43:24 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are sleeping with a married man, and have another guy too. You want the guy that's married- your other guy wants you- and you have kids with him. I must admit, you've pretty well managed to foul things up. You have lived as you wished, and haven't much worried about things like morals, standards, or ethics. As Dr. Phil says, "How's that working for you?" Folks like you are amusing. "Boo Hoo, my life is screwed up. I've violated every moral rule, and lived as I pleased. Why aren't things working for me?" News flash. When you ignore life's rules, things usually don't work out well. Just as it wouldn't work out very well if you decided to leave New York, and head due north to get to Florida. Or decided that you needn't refrigerate your meat. Or decided that since gas is expensive, you'll start filling your tank with water instead. There are reasons for all the social conventions in societies. Over time, humans HAVE found reasonable ways to live. They aren't secrets. Nothing requires us to follow the rules, but, nothing can prevent actions from having consequences. Your problem is that you don't like the consequences.
2007-01-02 02:23:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right... you have this guy who loves you and who is not married. Then you have this guy who is married, wont leave his wife, says he loves you, (not showing it much if he wont leave his wife, then agian would you want that, cos he will prob cheat on you as well). I dont want to be horrible, but think of it like this, he has his wife who he goes home to eats with, sleeps with, the women who he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Then he has you, who he sees and has some fun with. This guy is living so many guys dreams!
Do your kids know he is married?
I understand that you love him and its difficult for you, because of that. But you have a guy who is willing to give you his whole self.
Stay with the single, non married guy. Tell the married guy, you not going to be there for when he wants a quickie...
2007-01-02 02:14:08 · answer #7 · answered by BadGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wel for starters.. your name should now be home-wrecker!!
becsause lets face it honey. thats what you are
then you need to grow up and stop sleeping about with these married men. and ask your self.. am i that dumb and niave the believe that this married man will want me around for the rest of my pityfull life??? errrr i didnt think so either
also... how do you know your the only home- wrecker that he is with?? he could have a little black book full of home-wreckers just like yourslef. so open your eyes.
why have you got this other guy around if your in love with the married man? and does he love you back? ....didnt think so either!!
so my resolutions is look in the mirror.. then bash your head into it... hopefully it will nock some sence into you.
oh and also tell the NON married man that your a dirty lil biatch
2007-01-02 01:42:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have no business being anywhere near a married man. Why do you have so little self-respect?
Stay away from all men, including the 2nd one you've been stringing along, until you get a better grip on life and the meaning of fidelity, honesty, integrity, morals, ethics, self-esteem, self-respect, etc...
You need time to grow up little girl.
2007-01-02 01:24:40 · answer #9 · answered by kja63 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are hurting, and it isn't a good time to make decisions. Take a break from both guys. Spend time with friends, and your children, and do things that you enjoy. If possible, see a counselor to help you decide. The answer may be that both guys are the wrong one.
2007-01-02 01:41:53 · answer #10 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋