My parents do not speak to my husband and I. My husband does not want the kids to speak or see my parents because they do not help or support us. How do I deal with this situation? How do I get a relationship back with me and my parents again?
2007-01-02 01:12:09 · 16 answers · asked by Sweetie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not woman, so I do not have a husband, but if my wife demanded I not see my parents, I would blacken some eyes and then divorce her.
2007-01-02 01:15:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why should your parents have to help you and your husband, and why are your children being penalized because they don't? And if you want a relationship with your parents, why don't you sit down with them and re-establish one? Are your parents financially secure? Is this why your husband resents them? It might be nice if your parents were supportive, but they have no obligation to provide you with anything other than love. Furthermore, your husband sounds like an idiot, which is probably why your parents don't help you.
Understand that your parents and your husband don't have to like one another. They need to treat each other with common courtesy, nothing more. Their mutual dislike does not have to interfere with the children's, or your relationship with your parents. You can simply agree to disagree, but under no circumstances should your husband have the right to decide that the kids can't enjoy their grandparents; that's cruel!
You deal with the situation by behaving like an adult. You don't allow your husband to deny the children the opportunity of interacting with their grandparents. You don't expect your parents to pick up the slack, when you and your husband are abled bodies. Neither do you stop seeing your parents because of your husband. You keep things in proper perspective and stand up for what is right.
2007-01-02 01:54:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would your parents be expected to help support your family? I don't understand that. It would not be a pleasant day in our home if my husband ever gave me an ultimatum about anything let alone my parents. Get a back bond girl. Who died and left him boss? This is a very bad situation for you, your kids, and your parents. Don't give your husband this kind of control. You are the making of your parents, how can he love you and not respect them? Stand up to your husband and tell him that you and the children will have a relationship with your parents. End of conversation.
2007-01-02 01:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by sunny 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those are your parents. He shouldnt hold that over you. I am thinking that by "SUPPORT US"" you may mean "Stand behind us in choices" Many families go thru this, but they shouldnt have to. Getting back a relationship with you mom and dad is not hard to do. Simply call, talk, move forward with them a little at a time. Then maybe you hubby will see that it could work out and you all could be a wonderful family again. But if he doesnt want you and the kids to see them because they are not good to your kids then that is a totally different story.
2007-01-02 01:32:54 · answer #4 · answered by Brat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first of all, your parents were there before your husband was, and they will be there after him, too. So, you cannot allow your husband to forbid you to have a relationship with your parents. They will be there for you when he is not...keep that in mind.
Second, your husband also shouldn't forbid your children to see their grandparents. It's not fair to the kids, and it's unfortunate that he doesn't seem to care about that.
It sounds to me like he needs to grow up and stop acting like a controlling tyrant. He's your husband - NOT your God - and it's not his place to tell you whether or not you can have a relationship with your family.
2007-01-02 01:20:08 · answer #5 · answered by Heather C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I have no relationship with my biological father, through his own choices, and I have no relationship with my mother, for the simple fact that she has always put the men in her life before me (which I am an only child). She has never really accepted my oldest son, and is always mean to him. So my husband is supporting me in my decision to not have her in my life. If your parents choose not to talk to you or your husband, then why even bother? If they can't accept him, then it will always cause problems. Look around and see who is most important for you to have in your life. And I know some people will say that your parents should be. But that is not always the case for everyone.
2007-01-02 01:18:41 · answer #6 · answered by missm43050 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sound's to me like you have a controlling husband and the first step's to an abusive relationship! Your parent's are your parent's and NO ONE has the right to tell you that you and your kid's can't see them. That is just ridiculous! I would just tell him that if he doesn't want to see my parent's then fine he doesn't have to but you will have a relationship with them whether he likes it or not. Please becareful I don't know anything else about your relationship with your husband but I was in a abusive relationship myself and it starts with your spouse not wanting you to have any family or friend's out side of him. Just keep yourself and your kid's safe and don't let him tell you what to do.
2007-01-02 01:27:24 · answer #7 · answered by jenpoesavon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. I have been in the same boat myself for the very same reason. Don't feel alone on this one. I got your back !!! I told my husband that it was his role as a husband and father to provide for his family and not that of his in-laws or his family for that matter. It wasn't fair to our son that he be taken away from his grandparents over money. I also told him how would he like it if I did the same thing to him. He wouldn't be allowed to visit, call, write, or communicate with any of his family just because they don't give me what I want. It certainly put a new light under him. He's not brought it up again !! It worked for me, hope that if you decide to try my advice that it works for you !! Please, let me know how it goes !! I know it won't be easy. It was a huge fight when I did, but he got over it and my son knows all his family !!
2007-01-02 01:52:20 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get used on your life and cant see out edge the container. as quickly as we get adjusted an abusive life we don’t understand there is something better exterior. could be you're terrified of him, you're scared that he will make your life depressing in case you go away. My suggestion :- Don’t do something with the aid of fact your mom and dad is looking you to do. verify deep interior what you want to stay with. what variety of life you gona choose for. Then be sure. permit our husband bypass however no longer common time too. Tat is how human beings study. Take a spoil if he hurts you mentally or bodily. provide him possibility to alter through staying way from him.
2016-11-25 22:14:42 · answer #9 · answered by vescio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously your parents see something in him that they dislike, why should your parents support u, and give money when your husband needs to support u and do more. he is mad at your parents because they refuse to help financially and that isn't really a good reason to stop contact with them. i would never allow my husband or anyone else to interfere with my relationship with my parents. deal with your husband first, stand up to him, don't allow him to control your life or tell u what to do. sounds as if he isn't doing his part on the financial end and expects your parents to make up for his lack. would he be willing to go to counseling, if not get rid of him, as he is being very unfair to u. he is angry with your parents, because they have his number, they know who he is, and he just isn't comfortable around them.
2007-01-02 01:27:24 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It might be good to allow your parents and your husband to have a break from each other. When the smoke settles, you might try speaking to each of them to get a common ground. If you have relative who is a peace-maker, ask them to step in to help smooth things over.
The key with most parents is what's good for their grandbabies. So, that's what I'd appeal to, telling them the grandchildren need them.
Good luck!
2007-01-02 01:29:52 · answer #11 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋