Are children just born with this disposition or do they just find being with the family "beneath" them. Would you still help financially if you are not getting phone calls or a loving demeanor? Really curious how other parents deal with this.
2007-01-02 01:07:17 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i am a single parent with adult children, on of them stays really close, but the other distant himself very early in life, like when he was 17 and now he's 21 and in the Army. he had always put others in front of his family, even now has met a new string of friends and once again very far away. he tries to get close, but keeps us at arms length. he does for others not us. we haven't been important at all in his life. i am his father and mother, as his father left when he was 8 and i have taught him that all you have is family to help you get through this life, but others are always more important. so, yes always be there somehow this is your test in life, no matter how much it hurts, and believe me it hurts everyday, and you think about it constantly. always be there for you child, you are only here for them for a little while, don't you make the same mistake that they are, set an example.
good luck
2007-01-02 01:14:17 · answer #1 · answered by sweetgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would stop doing for her , the more you do for a teen the more they want . Take her away for a week end , just the two of you and have some nice talks . When my daughter was a teen , I would take one night a week for just the two of us , we would go to a movie , eat or the mall .Do not worry , it will get better , my daughter is married now with a baby , and just the other day , she told me that when she was a teen she was mad at me cause I was hard on her and strict , but now she is glad that I was , and she respects me for it , and that she wants to raise her daughter the same way that I raised her . Do not let your daughter be unfriendly to you are anyone else , demand respect , are off to her room . I remember taking everything out of my daughters room , I left the bed and her clothes ,boy she did not like that , but it worked . And also if he cannot respect you and her family , then do not let her go anywhere, let her stay home ,punish her , take her to a nursing home and have her help out , and to a womens and child shelter , there are amny good things she can get into , and see there is more to life then her .
2007-01-02 09:18:44 · answer #2 · answered by christina3661@yahoo.com 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a parent, I'm just a teen.
Mums are sweet people but I admit that I am a bit distant with my family at times.
You can try asking your daughter if she have problems.
I do, I've got personal problems with the family and that is why I tend to be slightly rebellious without meaning to.
For me I want my own life and sometimes mums can be quite naggy and is always worrying.
It just shows that they love their child but too much of it makes the child feed up.
Don't treat us like kids.
Praising the other child too much can make us jealous.
But above all, it doesn't mean that I don't love my mum. Sometimes I don't know how to tell her I love her.
Just give us some time, when we are older, we'll be matured and then we'll know how important it is to be close with family.
2007-01-02 13:59:15 · answer #3 · answered by love Suga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughters and son were full of nonsense when they were in their teens , that i can understand as i was a teenager myself once. But an adult daughter playing games is no fun. I would not help her financially if that is the only time she contacts you. Maybe you should invite her over for the afternoon and talk to her. Explain to her that you are not happy with the way she treats you and your wife and that you feel it is just right that she finds her own way in life now [ the money]. It must be quite hurtful for you and your family . Take care.
2007-01-02 12:31:44 · answer #4 · answered by Duisend-poot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know her reason for distancing herself? Visit and find out. There are reasons why her family cannot fulfill her needs. Money is not love. As a baby, as a toddler, as a young child, her needs were physical. As a pre-teen and teen her needs were emotional. Did she feel understood? Did she feel special? Did she feel your guidance was in her best interest or a fast, unexplained NO! All that responsibility is parental. And no matter how old she gets, you will be her parent. Do you make her strong and valued, or weak and guilty? Stay the parent, do not become the child.
2007-01-02 09:30:58 · answer #5 · answered by Bizzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So far I'm not at this stage with my daughters.
What worked for my parents? Time.
When I first left home my parents didn't help me financially whatsoever. Basically because they couldn't. Had they been able to they still would have been very limited towards financially supporting me.
Continue loving her, supporting her (not financially) and assiting her by knowing you're there for her.
Only she can wake up through her actions and learn not to hurt the hand that feeds her. In my opinion she's taking you for granted and in my world, that's simply not right.
Dry up the financial resources. She'll go at all ends to spew anger (initially) towards you, then as she learns you're not there just to mooch money off of, she'll get a taste of reality and warm up real nice over time.
Be firm, not mean. If she can't make a car payment or rent or something... So be it. If she needs food on the table, then help her out.
Outside of that she needs to wake up and learn not to take advantage of you.
Best of luck!
2007-01-02 09:21:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
depends how old your daughter actually is and weather she still lives with you or not. to be honest i found it hard to get on with my parents when i was still living at home til the age of 21, no matter how adult i was else where i couldn't be anything other than stroppy and unfriendly to my mother n particular. however since moving out at 22 (am now 25) have got on with her really well. i would support her less and less financially and if she is still living at home , get her to move out , it will be the best thing you ever did for your relationship, I'm sure that's what my mother would tell you.
2007-01-02 13:45:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why the hell should you help an ungratefull ***** like that at all? My oldest daughter was doing about the same thing for a little while(2 times) after I closed the wallet she quit talking all together for 6 months . then she called up in a huff and needed money !
I politely reminded her that I did not help those that were to good to even call once in a while let alone even to talk to thier mother.She now calls once a week to talk to her mom. I don't really care if she talks to me but she better call her mom.
2007-01-02 12:19:25 · answer #8 · answered by huntnyou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would distance myself but not completely, I would be reluctant to help with financial matters, if she questions your actions, calmly explain your reasons. You haven't said if she has always been like this or if it is a recent thing, if it is recent she may have problems and doesn't want to talk about them or does feel able to. Don't stop contact but wait to see if your new laid back attitude has any effect. Don't take it personally it may just be the way she is, give her some space and see what happens. My children are still young but this is my opinion
2007-01-02 09:15:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this my parent? You should stop helping financially if they don't respect you, call you or anything. All you are doing is buying them, so they will bever respect you. Back up for a while and see if they are still distant towards you, if they are, they don't see you as worthy of talking to as of now, so just let them be, they will come around eventually.
2007-01-02 09:10:52 · answer #10 · answered by None Of Your Business 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋