2007-01-02 00:20:21 · 23 answers · asked by D G 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
When you find this answer I want to know too. In my case, I can tell you exactly why I'm not happy, but I stay for my kids and make it work. In order to be happy, one of us would have to change the person that we are. That wouldn't be fair to either of us, ultimately we'd be more miserable not being true to ourselves, but on another level, marriage is about sacrifice to a degree.
The real answer is one word within your original question. Work. Marriage involves work. A lot of it. If you want it to "work", you have to work on it. A lot. Notice I didn't say it would be blissful. I used the word: Work. You work, and it'll will work..... regardless of whether we achieve happiness and bliss.
2007-01-02 00:31:08 · answer #1 · answered by Crash 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all both the partners should be free to each other, they should share everything, talk glamorously, romanticly, etc., that the way your partner likes. Try to create some mood when u both are alone, drag his attention towards yours. Help your partner in all possible ways. There are more things related to this but i just gave a hint of that. So the some above will make both u happy and marriage will work better.
2007-01-02 08:28:35 · answer #2 · answered by PH 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have a heart to heart with your mate and talk about why you are not happy. Both of you work on it and then you can be happy. Marriage is hard work and the time and effort that you put into it is important. Good luck...
2007-01-02 08:30:59 · answer #3 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you, I would work on being happy before trying to work on the marriage. Go to your family Doctor and tell him/her how you are feeling. If your partner won't go with you to counselling, go by yourself. Watch Dr. Phill. on T.V. Are you relying on your partner to make you happy? This is not a good idea. There is a great book by P Gray called 'Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus'. I know it sounds rediculous but it is truly amazing. It is all about understanding and communicating with the opposite sex. Good luck and happy new year.
2007-01-02 08:34:26 · answer #4 · answered by Ripplediane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk, tell him your not happy. marriage is about talking to each other and helping out with there mate needs if one partner is unhappy then the other must help or find a way to make you happy. my wife and i do this every day with little love kiss and notes an thing but this is how i do it you need to find what make you and your mate happy and try. do not give up.
2007-01-02 08:43:28 · answer #5 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to figure out why you are unhappy, sometimes counseling will help with that. Changing something on you helps, communication with your spouse also helps, there is a variety of things that can help make a marriage work until you are over your bad patch.
2007-01-02 08:59:02 · answer #6 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to find out wht you are not happy. I agree you have to communicate. So many times people have good intentions when thet try to communicate, but they do not know how to do it effectively and make things worse. You may not even realise it, but it is time to stop blaming your spouse for everything and start taking responsibility. You deserve to be happy. Noy only for today or tomorrow, but for the rest of your lives.
2007-01-02 09:12:10 · answer #7 · answered by jason 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I knw the answer to that... Im very unhappy with my marriage and Im staying for the kids.. wht I do is try to stay positive and Im preparing my self getting an education so when the kids get old enough Im prepared to leave.. so I concentrate in my studies and try and tolerate my husband to the best of my abilities....
2007-01-02 09:18:39 · answer #8 · answered by boricua_2290 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read LOVE AND RESPECT by Dr Emerson Eggerichs. This book is so good and changes ones view point. Sometimes we do things we dont realize that we are doing, causing more damage to our partners and ourselves and this usually from ignorance. We hide behind things and never address the real issues, US!
We carry around baggage and are stripped of who we really are.
I have discovered that most women lose their identity through all types of situations in marriage. It heart breaking to watch and suddenly one day it catches up with them and they stand in fronty of their mirrors and weep becuase they fell unloved hopeless and broken. THey gave their all and theres nothing left.
Its so awful to be there and I was there once.
There is hope. You need to find your confidence again. You neeed to find YOU againa dn you will. You matter. You are special and GOd created you becuase he has a purpose for you and now you have to search and find that purpose and when you do AND YOU WILL run with it. You have talents. USe them.
Get the following books and read them thoroughly to help you along the way. I wish when I went through what you are someone handed them to me then. I got them now (in my 50's) but God gave me a second chance to do things right with my husband and after applying all that I read I have found a new and wonderful and successful situation unfolding itself right before my eyes. it requires some work but this is nice work and not hard at all.
I will list the books in the Know your source column. I wish you the verry best and I hope with all my heart you will get the books and become whole again. You owe this accountability to yourself. We all have to stand before God one day and tell him what we did with what he gave us! Stand there and recieve your crown of excellence!
2007-01-02 08:40:02 · answer #9 · answered by uniquechild 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u need to talk it out and tell your partner what is happening and why you feel that you aren't happy. counselling will sometime work but not always, Talk it out or you can also go to a priest and let him know. You will be fine.
2007-01-02 08:52:56 · answer #10 · answered by Nattiedred 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋