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How can i learn to grow comfortable with watching porn with my boyfriend? I get so cross when he watches it. I know I'm very jealous and insecure. But I'm scared it's going to ruin the relationship if i don't. I know its natural for a man to look, and i only get cross because i want to be the women he looks at. We have been together for 4 years. Please tell me how i can become ok with it.

2007-01-01 23:29:43 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

19 answers

Try watching the porn by yourself some time. Form your own opinion on it, separate from what you think of your boyfriend watching it. If you like it, maybe you can try watching it with him. If that doesn't work out, there are a couple of options.

1) You can tell your boyfriend how much his watching porn hurts you. If he cares about your feelings, he will stop watching. If he continues watching porn, dump him for a more sensitive guy.

2) Tell your boyfriend how you feel about his watching porn. Tell him that it would make you feel better if he didn't watch it while you were around. Tell him you don't want to hear about it or see it.

If you are jealous and insecure, that is definately a problem also. Are you afraid of losing your boyfriend? Maybe you two should seek counseling.

2007-01-01 23:42:12 · answer #1 · answered by True Dat 4 · 1 0

First, realise why porn appeals to men rather than women. There is a major difference in men's and women's needs. For men, sex is visual, they like to see what they're doing, one of the reasons why attractive women appeal and who dress to appeal etc. So a man will get turned on by watching or looking at sex, in most shapes and form from soft core to hard core and every thing in between. For women, it's a mental thing. Women can turn themselves on by just thinking or visualising something that they find romantic. Yes, women are the real romantic types. They don't really need it to be visual (not all though). So, get over your jealously aspect unless you want your guy to get jealous of your "fantasies", "daydreams" etc. Next, don't stress that you don't like watching it, a lot of women don't. Liken it to any movie, if for the sake of an example, you don't like martial arts films, you wouldn't watch them. Porn is no different. Personally, I'm a bloke and I really don't like the produced porn movies. They're all the same and it's so fake it makes me want to puke. As for him watching porn, that won't ruin your relationship, you will if you continue to think the way you do. Lighten up, it's his pursuit, let him enjoy it and whilst he's doing that, go find something to do that pleases you. Happy balance!

2007-01-02 07:44:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Well, you're right, it's a touchy subject. My view on it is that if that's what gets my hubby going, then I'm ok with it. I'm with you, I'm a very jealous woman and very insecure also. It's not an easy thing, but just know that he loves you, or he wouldn't be with you. On the flip side, if he loves you, he would respect your wishes and not watch it with you. If this is what might ruin your relationship, then there is definetly more going on than that. I wish you the best of luck.

2007-01-02 07:34:25 · answer #3 · answered by tire_princess 1 · 0 0

If you learn to get past your insecurities, watching porn with your husband/boyfriend can be a real turn on for the both of you. Just make sure he understands that those ladies are ACTING and those things do not happen in real life.

2007-01-02 07:34:02 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

What I found helpful was realising that my b/f was actually putting me in the female position while watching porn....although he insists that I'm better.

We've been going out for four years also and in the beginning, I watched it by myself to masturbate as well as with him. At first it was to get him in the mood i.e. horny. Now it's to keep him from cumming too quickly. Sometimes, we'll sit at the computer or t.v. watching porn together and critique the individuals, their noises, actions etc.....this makes us laugh and helps to downplay the stigma of pornography.

Watch some porn by yourself on occasion. Realise that he may watch it but he wants to watch it with you. YOU are the woman that he's with....3D, whereas the females on the screen are one dimensional. Strive to be better, in the love making department, than the porn he's watching and use it as a learning tool....to find out what turns him on the most.

It's a learning tool for you. Have fun with it.

2007-01-02 07:43:49 · answer #5 · answered by Meg 2 · 1 0

When he watches it, he probably imagines doing those things with you, so in a very real way you are the women he looks at. Let's face it, it's not like he's ever going to meet a porn star, so he is very likely getting ideas for his sex life with you.

2007-01-02 07:34:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It depends on how much he watches it. If it's something regularly...think about your relationship. Sometimes people aren't comfortable with something sexual but their partner bullies them into doing it anyway. That's not a healthy relationship.

If it's something that doesn't seem to be a problem, you might want to consider watching films that are produced by women. Some of them have a storyline, they aren't so degrading, etc. Lots of women really enjoy it. But if you don't, don't worry! You don't have to. Your man just needs to accept that.

2007-01-02 07:34:05 · answer #7 · answered by shannonscorpio 4 · 0 0

Ask him why he needs to look at porn when he has a hot girlfriend. If its going to ruin the relationship by not watching it with him then its a relationship not worth having. Its unrealistic to be like the girls in the videos, be yourself.

2007-01-02 07:35:30 · answer #8 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0 1

You do not have to - men do not think of porn as women do - he is normal - if you do not want to watch it then don't. My boyfriend stopped watching it with me because he got jealous that I got so turned on by watching well endowed men and beautiful women having sex!!

2007-01-02 07:32:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

You're not being touchy....Porn, (yes I've seen it ) is a vile and detestable form of Sh^% ! it degrades women and all that they stand for....You can;t and don't want to aspire to the level of these people......Yes, some of it is a turn on but.........He's cheating on you by fantasizing about something/someone else.........

2007-01-02 07:35:24 · answer #10 · answered by cesare214 6 · 0 1

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