sexually harrassed and im confused help please?

Question

i am 14 years old and i was sexually abused by my 15 year old male babysitter when i was 8, he then broke my arm a week later relating to him sexually harrassing me, i am now confused about my sexuality and feel really bad about what happened and i just want to take back what happened, please help me

Answer 1

Hi there. firstly don't take any notice of the people on here who say "get over it" because you can't just get over it. You need help to clear the way so you can get on with your life, this molestation by the babysitter is in the way of your healing process, so you need to get that pathway clear first OK. Talk to you parents and to the police and report this so called babysitter, if you can, talk to the school councillor who can also handle the parents bit and then the police bit, include the part of how your arm got broken. Now I'm gonna tell you something, YOU ARE NOT GAY confused yes but not gay, most teens are confused about their sexuality plus you have been carrying this burden since you were 8, that's 6 years-nearly half of your life and your only 14, that's a very brave act but now its time to unburden yourself and lay the blame where it belongs, on the babysitter. Now you must inform your parents and the police. I mean it when I say see your councillor, so that you can get it off your chest and feel free of this burden, I'm sorry you cant take it all back, that cant happen but what can happen is that you learn from it to make sure it doesn't happen again, and use it later in life to protect your own children. If you take my advice it will turn out OK for you. by the way I'm not some religious fanatic just a adult who was molested when I was 8. Goodluck Mate. PS: you can email me if you want

Answer 2

The pain and betrayal of sexual abuse stays with you. Talk to someone you trust. Don't keep it bottled up. Your confusion is understandable after what happened. I agree with the others that your former sitter should be reported. You're probably not the only one he's done it to and you might be able to spare another the same tragedy. I found a few websites that might help. Also, the number for Childhelp USA's National Child Abuse Hotline is 1-800-422-4453. Your call can be completely anonymous and confidential.

http://www.jimhopper.com/male-ab/

http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/facts/specific/fs_child_sexual_abuse.html

http://www.stopitnow.com/index.html

I found this next link especially helpful:

http://www.darkness2light.org/

If you need to talk, you can e-mail me. I wish you the very best.

Answer 3

If you have a counselor at school you trust, go to them for assistance in talking to your parents and deciding what to do about reporting this predator. If a school counselor is not an option, I'd recommend doing a search on free counseling for your area to find someone to assist you. You might have to try more than one place before you find someone you're comfortable talking with. Since you were assaulted by a man, consider working with a female counselor. Don't give up until you find someone who will help you with this.

And please know that it's normal to feel the way you do and that you won't always have to be in this much pain. Deal with this now, so that you can begin to heal.

Once you're in counseling, and have talked with your parents, you can decide whether to have this man charged with assault. You don't have to rush into it. If you decide not to go through with the pain of accusing this man in court, you can still have the case reported and left "open" with the police. In most states, you can do this until you're 22. Then if this man is ever charged with assault in your state, your case will come up and you can testify on behalf of someone else's case against him. That way, you wouldn't be alone and it would increase the chances of getting a conviction. This was done in a case I know about, where the police didn't feel chances of a conviction were good, so the parents didn't put their child through a court case. Still, they knew that if the guy was charged again, their child could help get a conviction, which was a comfort to everyone in the family.

Try not to worry about your sexuality. I know that's a tall order, but there will be people who love you will accept you however it turns out. Try to treat yourself at least as well as they do. I wish you the best.

Answer 4

Do NOT try to "get over it" it won't work. You must deal with it as horrid as it is to do. Advice about calling the police is excellent regardless of any other thing you do. They guy who abused you belongs in jail and you belong with a therapist--paid for by the guy who did the abusing. You WILL need counseling. If you haven't the courage to call the police, go to a trusted school counselor or teacher and tell them exactly what happened. Good luck, have courage, you CAN do what needs to be done and you CAN feel good about yourself and who you are. NONE of what happened was your fault.

Answer 5

The definition of molest is to bother, assault, or harrass someone sexually. Reading this scenario sounds like you were definitely harrassed, which is being molested. I'm so sorry this happened to you! I hope you talk to someone about it! good luck

Answer 6

i know how you feel. i was sexually abused by a trusted family memebr when i was 6 and it continued on until i was 8! sexual abuse can be very harming to sexuality. im almost 14 and i still dont know what to do. are you religious? im not but i sometimes go to church and that helps me occasionally. sadly, the only advice i can give is that time will tell. i have no idea whether im transgendered, bi, or lesbian! but this isnt about me obviously. but i do think only time will tell. in the meantime, dont come out as being bi-sexual or homosexual until your sure! trust me theres nothing worse then coming out one way and then finding out your not the way you came out! if that makes anysense. i wish you good health and good luck!

Answer 7

Go to your doctor and ge a referal to see a counsellor. If you're in the UK call Childline (0800 1111) and let them know. They can put you in touch with people who'll be able to help you. As for your sexuality. Don't worry about that. The Trauma you underwent is just obscuring who you are from yourself.

Answer 8

HELP the questions I'm posting aren't showing up!!! Someone help me out with this... Sorry I had to post that here mate.

Anyhow, answering the question: Did you ever talk to an adult about that babysitter? If you haven't, DO IT. What he was doing was molesting you, and that is a serious crime. Regards to your sexuality, hell if I know. You don't TURN gay, you ARE from the beginning.

Answer 9

You cannot "take back what happened" I guess you already know that. You can, and you should seek for professional counselling.

Legally there is not much you can do at this point, and you don't want to add even more stress to your life.

Best wishes.

Answer 10

YOU TELL AND TELL UNTIL SOMEONE HEARS YOU!

abusing someone itself is a heinous act. You tell and tell until someone hears you out.

Take time to understand yourself and your feelings...remember you are only 14, you still have time....Only you have the power to make yourself feel inferior till then you DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF!

seek help and dont be shy about it. Think about it this way, when you have a cold you seek the doctor so this is the same thing...

hope this help...cheers~