How Do I become More Assertive?

Question

Recently it's become apparent to me that I get spoken over a lot, and unknowingly to me, I've been shunted to the back at work because I'm the "easy going guy" who never throws his toys out his pram. People don't bother acknowledging me when I walk in the room and I tend to wait about until they're ready to see me, whereas I am concious that it's rude to keep people waiting. Am I just too much of a pushover or what?

This isn't doing my career or social life any favours whatsoever.
So how do I become that little bit more assertive, especially at work where I now feel like people need reminding exactly how hard they're life would be if I stopped playing ball all the time.

Answer 1

Being assertive isn't about throwing a tantrum, it's about being clear and deliberate and telling people what you want. Try first of all with small things, then work your way up. There may be a course out there which would be helpful to you. Good Luck!

Answer 2

Fristly, we need to recognise that being assertive and aggressive are 2 different things. If people keep shutting you off, there are many tactful ways to shunt the conversation back for you to get your point across. Normally it could go like this, you interject politely with,"Apologies for interrupting. I hear you on that point. However I feel that....."

I'm also sure that we've met some other people in life that will not stop talking or refuse to be butted in. My advice is: do not ever try to keep trying to squeeze in, it will generally result in an argument. So just ignore the person and leave the room, you could also encourage others to do the same. After serveral such incidents of this, the other party should be able to get the message that he/she is just being irritating.

Answer 3

Take their ball away. Remember you can be assertive without being rude and aggressive. Politely remind people that ignoring or not greeting people is rude and you find it offensive.
Yes you probably are a pushover but only you can change that. Throw toy's now and again but keep their ball.

Answer 4

Sounds like your on the right road already to being assertive. I used to be exactly like you until other peoples attitudes started to really piss me off ! Go in to work with the same attitude as you had asking this questions. You'll be surprised how other people notice. Off coarse you'll always have a few who try to put you down, but just ignore them. Remember they're the ones with issues! Good luck mate and remember you CAN do it

Answer 5

Just keep in mind that when you do get the nack of this assertiveness thing, your workmates won't thank you for it and unless you are in a position where you can make their worklife unbearable, tread carefully.
For the rest, good luck. Learn to tell them you will be with them in a minute if they expect immediate service.
And generally saying NO can be very assertive.

Answer 6

One very good technique is to imagine someone famous that takes no-nonsense like say, Alan Sugar. Imagine how he would deal with your situations and when you begin to see or hear it in your mind try to imagine yourself as Alan Sugar in these situations and start to be how he would be. I know it's a bit embarrassing at first and you may feel silly, but I promise it's a technique that works and you'll be surprised how your behaviour has changed in the future.

Answer 7

you could prepare your canine, no rely how previous he's. As is reported via many above your canine thinks he's boss, so it is now your interest to knock him down a peg or 2. earlier you feed him, pretend to consume out of his bowl, or do merely so. Sanitise his bowl top and consume some corn flakes or something out of it your self, in front of him. when you have finished wash the bowl and supply him his nutrients. the reason of it is because of the fact in a %. (and that's what you're, his %.), the %. chief eats first then the others consume after. this style you're exhibiting him that he's under you. try appearing some general practise with him, instruct him some new tricks and this could instruct him which you're on top of issues. instruct him to return to you once you ask and advantages him with treats while he does, this could then concur the growling. If he does growl at then you definately turn around and overlook approximately him, you do no longer want to maintain irritating him and making the placement worse. additionally via turning your back to him you assert 'i do no longer choose any injury', it isn't any longer as formidable to him. you're smiling at him to motivate him interior, yet he would not understand you're smiling, to him you're baring your teeth, which in canine language ability the entire opposite to a grin. while he does behaviour which you do unlike, mutually with biting you, get rid of him from the room and don't carry him back in till he has calmed down. finally, your canine is behaving in this style because of the fact he's under pressure, probably because of the fact he is going out and in of kennels each and every of the whilst, so it is your interest to de-rigidity him. supply him a great number of exercising and seem into canine rubdown. you're able to desire to take him someplace to have this completed and get shown via a expert so as which you're able to do it your self at homestead. this could calm your canine and this behaviour could end. desire I helped

Answer 8

Get hold of a psychology book as a lot of the things that people need or lack socially are studied at length therein. Try and get a beginners version as it gets more complex later on.

Answer 9

Learn to say no and mean it
Stop talking when you're talked over and make a point of saying you were rudely interrupted when you start speaking again.
Don't wait politely interrupt

Answer 10

If you can read "The six pillards of self-steem",by Nathaniel Branden
I think will help you