a family member has repeatedly hurt me,by disrespecting me, stole from me, and lies to me.I ask myself and all you out there WHY? do i still have ampathy for her , and still want to think , and feel in my heart that the next time will be different?
2007-01-01 21:47:54 · 10 answers · asked by the1jules@yahoo.com 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I think maybe you are a forgiving person.There is nothing wrong with that.
Maybe you love this person. Love conquers all.Whatever the reason.Don't fight it.It shows that you are a genuine person and love and forgiveness will win out in the end.
Peter
2007-01-01 21:52:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably because you are one of the nice people in this world who wants to see the good in people,rather than see their bad side. However,there is a point where even nice people can only take so much from a family member that you speak of.It is up to you to change how you act towards this member of your family if this person is doing all these things to you. This behavior will continue to occur unless you put your foot down and tell yourself no more. You are the only one who is being hurt by this person and you are the only one who can decide enough is enough. Maybe since we are just past New Year's day this could be one of your New Year's resolutions for yourself...to be more assertive with this family member.
Here is a song by Amy Mann that is like your situation....the point being is that all of us have limits to the love and limits to our patience:
"We've known her ever since she was a kid
she was the kind of girl who repeats her mistakes
Her parents never minded what she did
She was a fallen angel with dirt on her face
But past a certain point she stayed behind
The two of us could never read her mind
the million ways she had of killing time
Chorus:
So we just gave up
yeah we just gave up
'cause sometimes, you know
there's limits to love
We'd get impatient with her now and then
oh, she'd smile and say, `now you're not being nice.
I guess her definition of a friend
was someone long on love, and short on advice
We gave her money but the money's bad
She took the dollars and just tore them in half
We got so angry, we just had to laugh
Chorus:
but we still gave up
yeah we still gave up
'cause sometimes, you know
there's limits to love
She'll get in trouble but she will scrape through
oh, she's the kind of girl who can always find help
I'd say she's stupid, but it'd be untrue
oh, you've got to be smart if you're fooling yourself
We tried to love her, but our love unwound
So we just gave up
yeah we just gave up
'cause sometimes, you know
there's limits to love"
2007-01-01 22:02:22 · answer #2 · answered by Albertan 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a lot like flinging coins into a slot machine, one keeps hoping for that elusive jackpot, the same with family relationships one hopes to be redeamed by a person's transformation into a more saintly figure. My advice, give up,you will continue to be hurt, this person knows you are an easy mark and expects you to be a patsy. Much like gambling, step away from the table, stop dumping coins into a heartless machine.
Peace...
2007-01-01 21:52:10 · answer #3 · answered by JVHawai'i 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Behaviors continue because they meet some basic emotional need. Belonging, Power, Freedom and Fun are Glasser's list of Needs. You'd have to figure out which ones you're getting out of YOUR repeated behavior. A good guess is that you're replaying some childhood trauma/hurt and in your continued replaying of being hurt, is trying to make it come out "right". What would be "right" for you? Who was the person in your childhood who did the same thing to you?---We can never make it "come out right" with secondary "player"--only with the "original".
2007-01-02 03:00:07 · answer #4 · answered by Martell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just a nice person and this family member is taking advantage of that. Perhaps this person might change if you tell them how hurt you are.
2007-01-01 21:59:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those who are good at heart, always see good in others. However, those who continuously hurt you should be stricken off your list. Do not try to hurt anyone as revenge.
2007-01-01 22:00:39 · answer #6 · answered by ha ha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are dull and do not love youself.You are willing to be used as a doormat and lack pride.You dont love that family member because if you did ,you could have shown them the need to change by not trusting them and letting it show that you do not trust them.
2007-01-01 21:56:29 · answer #7 · answered by jus-tus 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can choose your friends but unfortunately you cannot choose your family.Treat her the same way she treats you,And see if she likes it.Family can be so complicated sometimes
2007-01-01 21:58:15 · answer #8 · answered by Eat My Shorts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
trusting people who hurt you is a human condition.
It wont be different don't trust her or no one. best advice you'll ever hear.
2007-01-01 21:50:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
cuz ur still the same
2007-01-01 21:50:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋