She is 11 and thinks she is fat because she is beginning to develop. Her best friend is rail thin and I tried to explain that ppl come in different shapes and sizes. Whats a mom to do when every other commercial on TV is for a new weight loss pill?
2007-01-01 21:03:31 · 16 answers · asked by starryeyed75 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
Turn the TV off! Throw the magazines out! Take her bowling or rollerskating! I loved to do those as a kid, we just never did.
Tell her all the time that you love her and she's beautiful. Kids don't hear that enough. Mine are young and I tell them all that they make me special. God put me here to be their Mom! That they are wonderful, and perfect in every way. She may not like boys yet, but someday she'll learn that guys, once they come to their senses, prefer a girl with some curves! BONES ARE GROSS! Tell her that it's not her fault that her friend is a late bloomer, hee hee hee. It's okay to feel uncomfortable in a changing body. For 11 years now, all it's done is keep growing. Now the dimensions are changing, heck EVERYTHING is changing! It's a bit weird for her. Get her out of the house, away from the degrading commercials and have fun while she's young and still wants to hang out with you!
We need more commercials like the ones that Dove has put out. Something that shows REAL women, who are comfortable with their bodies, just the way they are.
Best of Luck and Happy New Year!
2007-01-01 21:17:13 · answer #1 · answered by Patty O' Green 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can keep telling her. That's pretty much all. But you should be careful what you say about yourself. If you are unhappy with your weight or body size, or ever have been, she may be picking up on that.
It is a very difficult situation. You could also try looking at it objectively, look up some sites with information about healthy body shape, size and weight, give her the information and let her draw her own conclusion. Do be sure to point out to her that Body Mass Index is only an indicator and does not take into account the amount of muscle a person has. If she sees some "official" information about what is and isn't over weight it may be more compelling than mummy who is always going to tell her she's perfect.
Good luck
2007-01-02 01:52:43 · answer #2 · answered by gerrifriend 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is helpful for her to have friends who are boys who can tell her how beautiful she is. Her father can help her by being encouraging too. You could let her know that she will have more strength if she doesn't deprive her body of the nutrients she needs while she is still growing. As Garfield says "I'm not overweight, I'm under-tall". Americans are tending to be taller some believe because of better nutrition. Calcium is especially helpful. Being healthy is more about eating what you need than it is about not eating "bad foods". I think she's too young to worry about a few extra pounds. If she were 100 pounds over her ideal weight then she could benefit from balancing her foods and being more active. Anything can be overdone. Gymnasts sometimes burn out their tiny bodies by pushing themselves too hard non stop. A few extra pounds are good so we have something to lose if we get sick. It would be better for society to want people to be healthy more than thin as a rail.
2007-01-01 21:23:29 · answer #3 · answered by Steve S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Explain to her that her body is beginning to go from a child's body to a teen's body, and that her friends may take longer to develop.
Tell her that the most important thing is that she is a healthy weight. Help her pick good food choices and appropriate exercise and physical activities
Maybe you could show her pictures of how bad some women(models & stars) look when they are too thin. My neice's anorexia started at around 12, so be very proactive!
2007-01-01 21:24:33 · answer #4 · answered by Sonia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You really need some legal advice. If you feel that her husband is emotionally abusive then you need advice about that also. I'm not sure what services are available to you but you need to know what support is in your area. Don't forget that as grand-parents and as parents you have certain rights. Keep ALL communication he has with you as evidence. Keep a diary of his behaviour with dates, times and places of events. Tell your daughter plainly that you are there for her, no matter what, and that you will be there for her when she needs you. Plainly tell her husband that you feel you have nothing to say sorry for and that you would like Communication with your daughter. He may not respond to this but the more neutral your tone, and the less 'accusing' you seem, the less he can blame you for things. What you're trying to do is keep confrontation to a minimum so people can see evidence of his behaviour. If needs be get legal advice as to taping his verbal abuse. If you manage to get enough evidence then you may even be able to get a medical intervention on emotional grounds on behalf of your daughter. I wish you the best of luck. Be careful as to what you tell them as they will try and thwart your plans.
2016-05-23 05:39:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was like that too when I was younger. Now I am 18. When I was 13, I started to lose my baby fat and started to get skinny again. I started my period when I was 11 too or was your daughter younger?
When I was 11, I looked like I was 13! I hated it and I thought I was fat! Just tell her that in a few years it will go away but make sure your daughter eats right and exercises otherwise she won't lose her baby fat.
2007-01-02 04:19:20 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah* 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her tell her every chance you get that she is beautiful or perfect. also talk to her regular doctor. this is also a teenage girl thing,keep a close eye on her for any signs of starving herself and /or trying to make herself sick. also listen to her always.
my daughter started this to at 11 years old,she flunked a grade and she was taller and bigger then her class mates ,so some of them started telling her she was fat or her clothes sucked.she would cry almost every day after school. call the school talk to a counselor about your worries maybe they could have program or a discussion in health class.good luck
2007-01-05 19:39:43 · answer #7 · answered by chan72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you don't want to tell her she's perfect, because that creates unrealistic expectations, too. You haven't done a great job in developing her self-esteem, which you should have been doing by the time she is this age! Start now by leading by example - and do your job as a parent!
2007-01-01 22:57:44 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 13 and I'm already a 36D. Tell her don't worry, she'll grow in height. I went from like 5" to 5'3" in a year. If she ever gets really concerned about her weight tell her maybe she could join a soccer team or a volleyball team.
Good luck.
2007-01-01 23:56:08 · answer #9 · answered by crazygolucky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that in the next 2 or 3 years she will experience a growth spurt, and that will redistribute her weight. Also tell her that marketing is a clever way to lie in order to make money.
2007-01-01 21:10:35 · answer #10 · answered by michalakd 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋