my husband not interested in doin it!?

Question

I am tired of wanting to do it, and my husband saying he is not in the mood, or, doesnt feel anything.
We have a 25 year age difference, which he always blames for our lack of sex, but, he looks at porn, and Playboy regularly, why, if he has no drive?
He is very flirtateous with other women, and even at the library, clearly, he and the librarian, were having a flirt fest right in front of me and my two young children. I am not as pretty as I once was, stress and family have a lot to do with that, but I am working out, and trying to get back in shape. What the hell can I do, play with myself for the next 20 years?????Help!!!

Answer 1

I have a feeling that he's the older (by your children's ages) and that maybe he's having an erection problem. It might explain the porn, flirting but no "live" action.

Confront VERY GENTLY. Ask him if there is a problem you can help him with explaining how very much you love him and want to be close to him, to be intimate with him.

Then the first stop is the DR for a medical check up and then to a therapist if needed.

Do follow through with this and stick by him as he finds his way back. Make sure he knows your with him no matter how it turns out and I'm sure things will turn out just fine.

Answer 2

OMG...I feel the frustration you're going through. My relationship has been going through this same problem too. I always thought that men were the horny aggresive ones...what the heck happened then with mine and yours?

This is what I did to get him back "in the mood."
1). When he's watching porn, watch it with him and masturbate right there in front of him while looking at the screen and then to him.
2). Book a "special night" away from home for just the two of you. Make it a room with a jacuzzi tub and mirror above the bed. Go out for a nice dinner, put a blindfold on him and drive to the hotel. In the room have candles lit, chocolate, porn in the dvd/vcr player and under your outfit be wearing seductive lingerie.
3.) Complain that obviously you both need to get counceling because you are being left unfulfilled sexually by him.
4.) Threaten him by stating that you won't go out and cheat on him, you'll do it right in front of him (children on overnight at grandma's of course) with the sexiest man you can find.
5). Keep going to the gym, creating a healthier sexier you. Express to your husband that all the men are complimenting you on your ever increasingly good physique.
6). Buy a "rabbit", dildo, vibrator to take the place of him.
7). Slip some viagra or other like kind erectile disfunction meds into his morning coffee.
8). Sit him down, look eye to eye and ask him what is bothering him. Explain that you are being left sexually unfulfilled and he's not making you feel desired, sexy or attractive. Cry, spill your guts on the table and leave the next step up to him. If he's in love with you, he will show compassion and will make an effort towards being more intimate with you.
9). Create a schedule at home where the children go to bed a bit earlier each night thereby allowing for more one on one time with your husband.
10). Touch him seductively either through a back rub, gently brushing his skin with your fingers, or buy "honey dust" and have him lay back while you lightly brush his skin with the "honey dust" feather.

Realise that intimacy comes in many ways and having sex does not have to be the only one. Tease him and yourself and see what happens.

Hope that some of my remedies help. Goodness knows that they have worked for me in the past, but not always.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I think your husband has slowed down and his response is slow. This is giving him a complex. He is trying to cover up his short comings by openly flirting with other women
or why should he flirt in your presence (and the children), he can do it behind you. Be kind and considerate and sensitive with your husband while making love. Don't be result oriented or score oriented, you can easily hurt your husband's feelings and he will go more into the shell. You also are suffering from a complex because of your looks. Both the complexes are different but it sums up to a substantial neat figure thereby increasing the gap between you. You must also relax and never bring the thought of other prettier woman in your mind or you will also withdraw into your shell. But in my opinion, you are a better bet to shed your complex and face the situation. you are 25 years younger . So your 25 years older husband will not flirt with you around.
All the best

Answer 4

I think a man can look at porn and flirt without ever "completing" anything. Point blank ask him what's up. I don't think it's that you are not as pretty as you once were or are out of shape. He may need some medical help and is embarassed to admit it. I had a guy with that problem and once I asked and we discussed it, he was glad it was out in the open and we overcame the problems with talking, time, and understanding.

Answer 5

Well the porn is causing a big problem in your relationship; why in the world are you putting up with that? Of course the age difference is a big thing; why didn't you consider that... guys of a certain age just have lower testosterone, and need to go see a urologist to get things checked out.
You, yourself, have absolutely nothing to do with it - not how you look, etc. It is his problem, but if you are serious, you can help him deal with it, and things can change. Get rid of the porn first, though.

Answer 6

I'm really sorry to hear this. ....Not a problem...tell u one simple thing...act smart.....care him 80%, ignore 20%, don ever bring out your desire front of him, watch seductive movies in a casual way may be once in every 2 or 3 days and switch over to other things aft 10 or 20 seconds IF HE IS NEAR U. work out to make you look pretty n don expect him to explore that. assure u 100%, you'll have great time soon.

Answer 7

Are you sure he's not having an affair with anyone else? The only other reason why he won't have sex with you is because he simply doesn't feel the same way anymore either that or there's a deeper problem. Just talk to him.

Answer 8

Wat's yours age and his? Do you look very haggard with all the stress? Or u dont interested him anymore with your haggard look? U need to 'look attractive n flirtatious' even in bed, so as to turn him on. Try to get back in shape. Or try to have a good talk with him abt it. Gd luck to you!

Answer 9

Sounds like he may have someone else besides you. Have a one-on-one conversation with him. Watch your tone or else the conversation may end arruptedly. Before the conversation, you need to be prepared for the worst. If for any valid reasons or his refusing to engage in sexual activities with you, you will need to do some soul searching yourself.

Answer 10

He could be cheating
not interested in you anymore(if he wants to watch porn and flirt with other women)
I think he's ridiculous, but ask him, talk to him sincerely.
You could always leave him.



Krazy Libra