I belong to a different community where much emphasis is laid on girl's freedom (social as well as financial). He hails from a conservative society where a role of women is primarily a home maker.My MIL doesn't like me coz her community people will ridicule her as her son is going for intercaste marriage(her husband expired in 2001). But my BF loves me like crazy and as he is her only son (daughter is settled in U.S.A and thus is of little support to her) she has to accept my BF's wishes. But whenever I have met her she acts so phoney and sweet all the time commenting me with sugar coated words. My BF thinks his mother has made a great sacrifice in allowing him to marry me and now it is our duty to make her happy and give her all happiness which we could. He also feels she is the best mom in the world and I'll be the happiest daughter in law. Quoting him" U can find a guy like me but not a MIL like my mom".Now I don't know how to handle her and make my BF c the real picture.
2007-01-01 19:19:07 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
boys love there mums! my husbands mother hates me, I eventually stood up to her and she is nice to me now, but dont be scared of her. It will just make things worse. Just be nice, and let her know that you love her son and only want whats best for him. Thats all a mother could want
2007-01-01 19:23:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I Believe Most Mother In Laws Hate There Daughter In Laws..Mine Acts Like She Likes Me But In Fact She Don't..She Even Cried The Day We Got Married..As She Once Said "Her Son Was A Better Person Before He Married Me"Just Whatever You Do Stand Your Grounds Or She Will run Right over the top Of You..Believe Me I Know..Although You Don't Have To Like Her You Do Have To Respect Her And Be Nice..But You Don't Have To Go Out Of Your Way To Please Her As She Is Not The One You Will Be Married To..Good Luck
2007-01-01 19:31:59 · answer #2 · answered by amber 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi there ... youre b/f decided it is time to get married ?????what did you not have any say in the decicion ??youre future mil,is at least being nice with all the sugar words ....look play her at her own game she is nice to you ....you be nice back she will see right through you as she is playing the same game ....she stands up to you well you stand up to her ....like she is going to admit that she really doesnt like you .....my x mil was a right old bag at this game .....and i played the same game right back at her and when my x husband wasnt around we would ignore each other and that was fine with me ......look you will get through this bit with the mil ../..but as for youre future husband well thats another story you need to sit this plank down and explain a few things to him .......like the fact that he is lucky that you are marrying him and excepting him and the mil law from hell.......and excuse me but what does he mean his mother has maDE A SACRAFICE ???????WHAT !!!!!!!this is 2007 not the dark ages .....oh i do not mean to sound rude but id slap youre future husband the lenght of the room for that crap coming out of his mouth ....i realise that you love him and that you both have been together for the last 5years .....hang on a minute .......how have things been for the last 5 years i take it that she has got to know you over that length of time .?????or is now that he has said that he is getting marriedthat you have meet ........i wish you all the luck in the world and dont be scared to stand youre ground you might well be getting married but always remember that this is youre decicion and that you want to walk that road .....change youre mind that is ok as it is youre life ......take care xx
2007-01-01 20:04:10 · answer #3 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my goodness!!! When you marry him, you are in for a treat!! You can never get momma boys to see the truth about their mothers, especially if he's the only son. I went through the same thing and thats why I am divorced. Here's my past situation, we dated for six years, and married him for two years. My ex finally told me that his mother NEVER liked me and then his mother moved in with us and when I was at work, she'd pursuade him to divorce him. Guess what!!! Thats what he eventually did!! He asked me back, because he said he never should have let her come between us....Guess what I believed him. Well that wasnt the case, her thoughts and opinions ALWAYS mattered to him. Because of her, I never even attended family weddings, parties, etc. At a wedding, she told him that I was no longer welcomed at her mom and that was because he took me back. Later, he told me that we could never try to start a family because his mother hated me that bad!!!!! That was the finally straw for me. To be honest, I am happier than ever because she acted like she wanted to sleep with him. (MORE TO THAT) It really depends on him and the relationship that he has with his mom. I say dont marry him if you think that he's still going to choose his mom over you and if you think that he'll put you first, then go for it. Trust me, you can not change a man or make him see his mom's true color. Come on, she's his MOM!!!! Good Luck!!!
2007-01-01 20:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by sexykp78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it a try and if it does not work out for you then kick your bf for making you beleive him about his mother. But what if she opens her arms to you with nothing but love. Then you'll have a new friend indeed.
But follow your own heart. If you go into this with doubts, you will only have yourself to blame if you get hurt or become miseriable because of your new MIL
2007-01-01 19:26:29 · answer #5 · answered by Tired of being Mr. Nice 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will be married to her also , and I think you already
know that. You are going to have one miserable marriage.
I think having a mama's boy would be a turn off. He's already telling you that he is on his moms side. If you want to come second all the time , more power to you.
Even though you have every ones opinion your still going to marry him and live a miserable life. Please don't have any children by him. You'll end up being a single parent and the children will suffer.
2007-01-01 22:28:56 · answer #6 · answered by Shangrala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your relationship should be about you and your spouse! Too many parents meddle in their childrens lives and that's not good!! If you have a momma's boy, then I feel for you. The relationship I'm currently in is similar and even though I love my boyfriend dearly, I'm getting ready to cut it loose because he won't be a man and stand up to his mother. You can't come between a mother and son, so please don't try. You will loose! It's up to the man to say, "mom, I'm a man and this is my life. Please stay out of it. Only he can fix this. If you try, you will only be seen as a wedge between mother and son.
2007-01-01 19:25:37 · answer #7 · answered by TINY822 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont worry i have the same problem my mother in law is a real fuking mole she wont back off and is always putting me down you have to remember that you are better than her and that nothing she can say or do will afect you you just have to make sure that she nose that you to will be together for a long time and to back off with out saying that
man im on your side the mother in law i have is a scrag dosent no how to back off like a dog
2007-01-01 19:25:13 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
the real picture is that your future MIL has at least made the effort of being nice to you and you refuse to accept her
so who is the bad one now?
2007-01-01 19:29:39 · answer #9 · answered by zether 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is going to make his Mom happy is for her to see that in fact her son is happy--that he made the correct choice in a wife--
2007-01-01 19:34:23 · answer #10 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋