Dear all
I am facing a big problem, I am engaged to a woman who is very nice and cute. I treat her like a princess a show full respect to her but unfortuntly i am not in love with her, I am not in love with any one else in fact how can i continue my life with her, She is crazy about me but i am not. please help
2007-01-01 19:03:03 · 49 answers · asked by nice_guy_007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Umm pull back the wedding date
2007-01-01 19:04:41 · answer #1 · answered by Hi 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
My only advice that I can give you is if you strongly feel that way then I think it would be best for you to let her know now before the wedding day and you really hurt her. Please don't keep your true feelings from her, in fact she'd respect you much more by being a man about it and telling her up front instead of waiting until the last minute and embarrassing her in front of family and friends at the alter. Imagine the sad look on her face and the tears she sheds due to her broken heart when you tell her that heart wrinching news on what was suppose to be your wedding day. Please be a man honey and tell her now, but be tactful and truthful about it. Also sweetie, why did you propose to her if you are not truly in love with her?Not cool!!! Even if you tried covering your feelings up and end up marrying her, dude your marriage will not last one day, maybe not even a month or year so please do her and yourself a huge favor and tell her now. Get it over with, but you better have a good explanation if I were you!
2007-01-01 19:42:24 · answer #2 · answered by chris a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Baby darling,
Imagine that you keep this for yourself. You will have a beautiful wedding, all the relatives coming, hmm....and a nice picture with the two of you to be put in the living room. Then a lovely honey moon....even the first child, good career, quite & peaceful live, and the routine in the good meaning.....
Then, one day as you get out the house, and go somewhere, you get to meet the real love, your heart beats strongly, and you find yourselves watching each other......like you were expecting each other for a long time...and you know you meet real love.
Don't you think that the situation will then be more complicated then it's suppose to be when 2 people are really in love? And in plus, you have the child....
Wake up now! Don't ruin your life!
Of course your fiance will suffer now, but do you think she will be more happy in 2 years when you will dump her and leave her with a child?
Maybe I've been to hard, and the story is a bit long, I just wanted to try to help, remember you are the only one to decide what you are going to do with your life.
Good luck and let me know what happened finnaly,
G.
2007-01-01 19:54:11 · answer #3 · answered by Your Boss :)) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
May I ask why you are pretending that all is well with this relationship?? Who are you protecting here?? Go ahead and get married and then what NOT live happily ever after--she will find out someday that this is all fake and how hurt do you think she is going to be?? If she is the sweetest and all why are you willing to devastate such a nice gal?? You better sit down with her today (yesterday would have worked here) and tell her just what you feel--you are totally not being fair to her and a lifetime of happiness--If you don't do this and go ahead and keep pretending you are not only being dishonest you are a coward in the first degree---She so deserves better--
2007-01-01 19:13:36 · answer #4 · answered by skizzle-d-wizzle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Breaking up with her is going to her hurt. The only thing that will hurt her MORE is you going through with a marriage that will waste her time, rob her of her confidence and trust, and leave her alone and a divorcee. Break this off now and give her an opportunity to find someone who gives her what she gives in return. If you are going to promise the rest of your life to someone, it had better be someone you are completely passionate about and attracted to. It begins there. You have to be able to wake up 10 years later and know that the person next to you in bed still rings your bell. Please be more careful next time before popping the question, and wait until you are over 25 if you are not already.
2007-01-01 19:23:35 · answer #5 · answered by bigwheeler19 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to end it now because if you don't that would be depriving her of a healthy long relationship. She deserves someone who loves her unconditionally. And so do you. If you guys aren't made for each other then so be it. It will hurt her but it will make her stronger and it will hurt her worse in the long run if you don't end it now. Be nice and honest. You both deserve to find soulmate's. If you are not hers then let her go so she can find him and be happy. By the way, why did you ask her to marry you if you didn't love her?
2007-01-01 21:36:50 · answer #6 · answered by Shonda Murphy-Polk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop lying to yourself and to her. Don't continue to lead her on.
There are many songs out there to dedicate to her to get your message across
1) Don't take it personal
2) I don't have the heart
3) If your heart isn't in it
4) I can't make you love
Spare her the pain and kill it now. You dragging her on and on is only going make it that much harder to break free. Be a man about it. She'll hurt for a minute, and she'll cry, but she will get over you. So set the woman free. Do the right thing.
2007-01-01 19:22:13 · answer #7 · answered by Tired of being Mr. Nice 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Think about your future pillow talk. She's going to say "I love you" and your supposed to say "I love you too", except saying it would be a lie. Unfortunately you got yourself into this engagement so already promised your heart too her. It'll be tough to get out but I would suggest sitting down with her (of course timing is important too) and tell her that you want better for her. That you want her to have someone who she can love and will love her in return. Tell her that it would be unfair for her and that she deserves better (a rejected woman likes to hear that she deserves better) than someone who cares about her but doesn't love her. I hope you didn't publicly propose to her because she might feel very embarassed that she won't be having that husband of hers that all of her friends were expecting, but in the long run I hope it's for the best. Who knows? Maybe she's noticed your reluctance to say I love you, or just that your actions are those of someone who cares but doesn't love. But your best bet is to try to let her down really easy then ask her if there is anything you can do for her.
Best of luck!
2007-01-01 19:11:36 · answer #8 · answered by Tweety bird 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't end it NOW, you are going to end it EVENTUALLY, I guarantee. And it's better to do it before you have kids and families and mortgages and a lot of wasted years under your belt. Good grief. How did you let it get this far? Very nice and cute are not reasons to get married. Not to mention, how unfair it is for you to keep this woman in the dark like this for so long. It is going to be pretty ugly when you do tell her, so be prepared. But not as ugly as a 20 year loveless marriage. Tell her what you are telling us. She deserves to know.
2007-01-01 19:10:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you need to continue. If you don't love her you need to stop this now before it gets out of hand. If you are engaged the next step us usually marriage. A marriage is hard enough when both people are total in love with each other. If you are not totally in love the marriage will be a disaster
2007-01-01 19:10:50 · answer #10 · answered by Janst 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell Her How You Feel Like NOW..If You Don't You Will Hurt Her More In The End.The Longer You Wait The Worse It Will Be For The Both Of You..
2007-01-01 19:08:53 · answer #11 · answered by amber 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋