My hubby only cares about himself. Weekends r supposed to be family day but all he does is going out with his frens drinking or fishing. He either comes home veri late in the night or not home at all. When i call him, he doesnt answer. Recently i found out that he actually paid a make frens site to know other women. He doesnt realised his mistake n even went to bed other woman. I reali want to divorce but our gals r still veri young. I cant take care of both of them bt i also cant give 1 to him cos he wun be a good dad. If i've the custodies of our 2 gals, then i'm letting him have a good life, can do watever he like, doesnt have to take care of them. Wat abt their maintenance fees? He for sure will forfeit the payments. Forget abt counselling cos he wun go n he wun change also. To him, i'm being unreasonable for kicking a big fuss over his doings. Wat should i do??
2007-01-01 18:49:20 · 18 answers · asked by le_snowangel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
talk to your family ask them to help you get away from him. dont stay and put up with this. but just rember you have done nothing wrong he cheated on you. good luck to you in what you decide to do.
2007-01-01 18:54:14 · answer #1 · answered by hurts so good 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you going to or can you live with him for the rest of your life? If he had went to bed with other woman, you can ask for a divorce due to adultery even he refuse. If you got the custody of the children, he will have to pay you maintenance fees for your 2 gals and you yourself. Certainly the Judge will not allow him to forfeit the payments, as he will be put behind bar if he forfeit the payment. Not sure whether you have "Woman Charter" in your country, if yes, he will have to pay for the maintenance fees even when he is bankrupted.
2007-01-02 18:16:48 · answer #2 · answered by Tan D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if this would help you at all, since I'm single and not know much about the married life.
From my point of view, if there's nothing either you or both of you can do or even want to do, to make your marriage better, there's no point in keeping the marriage.
By staying in an unhealthy relationship, you're giving a bad example of what a relationship is to your children in the first place.
If you had made a deep analysis of your situation, and you are not just too needy, or emotionally overwhelming to your spouse and it's really impossible to fix it due to realistic reasons, then definitely, get a divorce an move on with your life.
2007-01-01 18:59:38 · answer #3 · answered by m1r31n1 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Responsibility has to be slowly thrust on your man. Appreciate him for even small achievements and keep on slowly increasing his responsibility. If handled well you can slowly make him fully responsible. 2 gals are better than 2 boys. Men are sentimentally drawn to their daughters. Use your daughters to increase his responsibililty. If you wait for him to take up the responsibility naturally, it will never happen. Men are like that, if possible totally irresponsible. But women can change man tactfully and gently. You are three women, yourself and 2 gals, against one man. Make the best use. Do not rock the boat and drown all four. Atleast you show some responsibility.
Happy New Year and Best of Luck
2007-01-01 18:59:45 · answer #4 · answered by wizard of the East 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1. Make a list of everything that he has done, that is wrong.
2. Make a list of all your fears about leaving him.
3. Take these lists to a lawyer.
4. Find a support group, and emergency shelter (just in case).
5. Start separating yourself financially and legally from him.
Make sure you have cash. You will need credit cards, or bank accounts in your name ONLY!!! Is the car in your name? Is the house in your name? Ask the lawyer. If you can't afford a lawyer, contact the women's shelter, tell them you need help.
2007-01-01 18:56:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you do end up getting both of your daughters, you shouldn't think of it as you're letting him have a good life, you should think that you're giving your kids a good life. I think it's better that they are still young because they still don't fully understand what's going on. It's better for them NOT to grow up with a father who does things like that. If you know he wont be a good dad why stay with him!? He's obviously not a good husband! And of course he's going to think that you're making a big deal about everything! its not worth trying to work things out with someone who does those things to you. Maybe you can stay with a relative while you try to save a little money or something.
2007-01-01 19:03:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
get out from this mess right away! what's taking you so long to do that? what you mean by you can't take care of your kids? you can use the computer! just by sending in this question, it proves that you are IT savvy!!! so, that means you can get a job... things will be alright if you're confident. come on!!! put some dignity back in your life! you go girl
2007-01-04 04:35:42 · answer #7 · answered by mama leila 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
get a back bone
children are always the reason parents don't leave but its a bad reason the kids will end up resenting you for staying in the end what you need to think is do i want to stay in this relationship or not and if not leave you have rights and there are lots of people who will help you mental abuse is even more damaging then physical abuse would you stay if he hit you
2007-01-01 18:56:01 · answer #8 · answered by zzumette 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay seriously, it sounds like you are too worried about the logistics and not the marriage. Since he has been unfaithful, your marriage is over in my opinion. Divorce him to take care of you, and worry about the details as they come. You can not stay in that situation, and when your kids get older, they will understand why you left.
2007-01-01 18:53:04 · answer #9 · answered by crazychick171717 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
welcome to marriage.... sad isnt it? we grow up thinking it'll be something different, they will be loving, supportive, help raise the family, be there for you....
almost NONE of them will go to counseling, forget it. they dont think they have a problem or are wrong.
he is indeed a very selfish human being. if you want to spend more years with it, that is your choice. you will know when you have had enough.
hang in there and just do the best you can with your babies.
2007-01-01 18:55:10 · answer #10 · answered by Yvette B yvetteb 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋