for those who have come out?

Question

I might come out this year to my parents and friends....how was life after you came out? were things different? did you feel like the people you told acted different towards you? I know I'm gay but I still don't accept it, its weird, like I'll probably still remain unhappy after I tell everyone. And if I ever decide to adopt kids, will they abandon me and maybe my partner....I feel like I'll end up lonely in the end. I'm a good guy and I don't deserve this right now. I sound real pessimistic but that's not how I am. I always try to look for the brighter side in life.

Answer 1

First of all, take some credit for coming as far as you have. Acknowledging your own sexuality is the hardest part of the coming-out process.

I can't even tell you how much happier I was after coming out. I was raised in a conservative, very religious family, so I expected some rejection. And while some of my relatives have been slow to come around, I've been overwhelmingly accepted and haven't lost any close friends. Just remember that it's taken you a while to come to terms with your own sexuality, so it may take others some time as well.

When you're ready to take the next step, be prepared for some tough questions -- "What makes you think that you're gay?" "How do you know this isn't just a phase?"
To prepare, it may be helpful to visit website like the the American Psychological Association (http://www.apa.org/topics/orientation.html ) or the Human Rights Campaign (http://www.hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Coming_Out ) It may also be helpful to direct your parents or friends to supportive groups like Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG, http://www.pflag.org/ )

Best of luck, be safe, and please remember that there's a huge group of people waiting to support you on the other side of that closet door.

Answer 2

It took me two and a half years to come out, and when I finally did, it was extremely stressful, but you know what happened? All of my friends wholeheartedly accepted me. My mom was a little unsettled by it but my dad and siblings are fine with it. Come out to your friends first, and deal with your parents afterwards; if your friends cant accept you after coming out, than theyre bad friends in the first place. Friends that accept you for who you are, not only if you are straight, are the friends that you can always trust to count on. As for your parents, I dont think they would ever turn their back on you but again, wait until you tell your friends and get mroe comfortable with being gay before you tell your parents. Congrats on having an optimistic attitude though!

Answer 3

I came out last year after my 50th birthday, the majority of the people i told said they already knew, only a few people were surprised. After i came out i lost some family members and friends, they no longer talk to me, but i'm learning to deal with rejection. That doesn't mean it'll happen to you, i just have a lot of closed minded people in my life. I didn't feel different but people started treating me differently, my mom, one of my brothers and one of my sisters are still having a hard time coming to terms with it, my son is okay with it he just don't want to know certain things.
People come out for different reasons, some people never come out at all. The only advice i can give to you is as you feel comfortable enough with someone then tell them, but after you tell them give them space so they can deal with it. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I don't think people can help that they are gay. I know someone that is and all of her life she knew it but tried to hide it. Finally, she came out. People already could tell. But she has problems with relationships because she usually is with someone bisexual and they break her heart. She may be happier in some ways but being gay it makes life more difficult because of society and the way people judge. God made us who we are and we can't help that. Just be yourself and people will learn to accept you for you. Parents love their children unconditional. I almost lost my stepdaughter recently in an auto accident and she is gay. It makes people open their eyes when tragedy almost takes place and you realize you love that person no matter what!! I wish you luck.

Answer 5

You have a lot of time to answer all of these questions, no matter what age you are. I was probably one of the luckier ones when it comes to telling people I was gay. A lot of them already knew, the others didn't mind. Family, work, friends, they all know and accept me for me. They see me as a person first, before seeing me just as a homosexual. Just be yourself and go with it. You will be happier if you don't try to question why. :) Hope this helped.

Answer 6

The only way they acted differently is they quit trying to make me be someone I wasn't. Some of them took it harder than others, but in the end everyone was acceptive if not supportive.

Answer 7

Everyone has something to do in life that they are afraid might turn out badly. You can't put life on hold till everything is perfect.
Because it never will be.............Enjoy the sun while it's shining,
quit worrying about when it might rain.

Answer 8

Be straight forward. It will be better if you do, trust me! I'm not gay myself but my friend was and he came out and his whole life turned around.

Answer 9

jesus christ pa. u cant come out until ur ready. if ur that uncomfy, then just wait til next year. u got to be happy with where ur at b4 u worry about other people. happy new year.

oh, im not gay =)

Answer 10

I was very Lucky My family loves me. They did not care that I was lesbian. They saw me as me. I hope that eveything works out and they love you for you aswell. I am sure you will sort out your feelings soon