I just found out that my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years kissed my best friend when we were drinking but when i was asleep. They were going to take it further but didnt. I am so upset and dont know why and he says he doesnt know why, and he is sorry, and hates himself for it. I dont know if i should stay or not. Should I give him a chance or will he think that if I do Im not serious and do it again??
2007-01-01 17:33:08 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
WOMEN cheat too. Is your reality imploding in on itself now with that startling revelation? It shouldn't.
2007-01-01 17:34:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well your friend doesnt seem like a true friend for one. Why ddi she do that to you? Is she sorta the backstabbing type? Or is she totally confused because she got carried away drinking?? Personally if my best friend kissedmy boyfriend, we would not be friends. If I felt to bad to stop being her friend, I would casually ditch her off and get hre out of my life..by making up excuses when she wanted to hang out..ignoring her calls etc...
On the other hand, your boyfriend..I don't really know, alcohol isn't an excuse, but did he tell you about what happened? How did you find out? If he told you, than maybe he really does feel bad, and can't believ he did this to you. It is somethign you two are gonna have to talk about. As much as you love him, after talking if u deep down feel like he might do it again...break up, because your intuition is always right.
Ignore him for awhile..see how he feels..kinda gt back at him, without cheating.
2007-01-02 01:41:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes 2 to tango and just because they had a drink is no excuse. I would get rid of him and your best friend. Believe me if they do it once they will do it again. I always get angry when they blame just the man because a lot of these girls know exactly what they are doing but by god they always like to play the innoccent.
2007-01-02 02:30:37 · answer #3 · answered by Vera K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow the answers I read before mine are full of hate.I know you are mad and hurt to think that he could do something like that to you. but think about it he was drinking and people do some really dumb things when they drink and the important thing is that they Didn't have sex. he feels awful about kissing her I would be mad at her too it takes 2. to be human is to error to forgive divine Think do you really want to through 2 1/2 yrs away over a drunken kiss? One thing to remember if you do forgive him you cant through it in his face when you get mad at him because that will make him start looking for someone that is willing to forgive him for dumb mistakes
2007-01-02 02:29:37 · answer #4 · answered by notes from an angry white chic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, I have some questions.
How did you find out? Did he tell you? or your best friend? Or someone else?
If you found out from someone else, then dump both your friend and your boyfriend and dont' look back. Its one thing to screw up. Its another to not be honest. If they can do this and hide it, what else are they doing that you don't know about.
If one of them told you, how long did they take to tell you? 24 hours? A week? two weeks? a month?
Was it just one of them? or both of them?
If one was upfront and honest, that may help weight in your decision.
Stuff happens when people get drunk. Especially if the relationship they're in isn't going right. So talk to him. Figure out what is going wrong.
If he wasn't honest with you about his slip-up, and you don't think you can trust him to be faithful, then dump him. Life is too short to wait for him to slip up again, and who knows if next time he'd tell you. If the relationship was really meant to be, it will be someday. Just right now you need to be fair to yourself, and honest with yourself. Right now is about YOU.
Can you forgive him? Or will you lord this over his head for the rest of your years? (if the answer is the second one, dump him)
Can you trust him? If you answer no, then tell him. Let him know that you don't trust him. A relationship won't work without trust. So you can either dump him, or you two can try to start the relationship all over, starting from the very begining as friends until he can prove that he is worth trusting.
What do you need out of this relationship? Think about what you need out of it, and what you want out of life. Write down what it is you want. Long-term and short-term. If you need 100% fidelity, write it down. If you can handle 98% fidelity, but need 100% honesty write it down. If you want marriage and kids in your future, write it down. If you want to live in the country, or city. Write down what it is you want, and go for it. Talk it over with the boyfriend. Ask him to be honest about it as well. Compare notes. If you two want different things, and the relationship isn't going to anywhere anyway, then dump him and don't worry about it.
Whatever you decide to do, do it for yourself. Don't think about how you have to be "fair to him" and "give him a chance".. He had a moment of not thinking about you, and you have this moment of not thinking about him. You have to make you happy, or the relationship isnt going to work either.
Good Luck.
2007-01-02 13:47:28 · answer #5 · answered by V 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the point in time where you teach him the consequences of his cheating. Let him get away with it now, and it will definitely happen again.
Oh, and why is he the only guilty one? I'd shop around for a real best friend, if I were you.
2007-01-02 01:41:58 · answer #6 · answered by Liz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Welcome to reality. Do you think that you are the only person in history it happened to and that only men cheat? You coudl be in the same situation and be very tempted one day.
The reason why men cheat is exactly the same reason why women cheat.
This is where you and your boyfriend have a chance to work out if your relationship is strong enough to get over this TOGETHER or it is time to walk away.
2007-01-02 01:38:35 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. Leave that friend too - Neither one of them cared about you when they were doing this behind your back. You were even there too - that makes it worse that they could be so sneaky even in your presence. That is extremely disrespectful. Do you KNOW that it didn't go further or is that what your boyfriend told you?
2007-01-02 01:41:44 · answer #8 · answered by karespromise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think they do it to up their self-esteem.
He probably does hate himself for it.
How much do you love him= you will have to decide yourself whether to stay or go or if you need some time to think.
Men are so different. He may never do it again, but if he does you can always leave then.
2007-01-02 01:39:23 · answer #9 · answered by Mia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. He will do it again. Kick that so called friend of yours to the curb. A true friend wouldn't do that.
2007-01-02 01:35:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋